(entering the classroom) GOOD MORNING, LE OLD NUTENTS! (laughs in a Western style accent, then puts his coconut on the windowsill) Alright. Now, it's time for...bad news.
They found out coconut juice makes your hair falls out?
(laughs) NO. We're going to do an acting exercise about giving bad news.
Sikowitz (imitating Jade, sarcastically) Why? To teach you that acting often involves choices in how to say things. For example, how do you give someone bad news and make it seem not so bad?
By telling them in a language they don't understand.
You see, every time I cast a new play, you get your panties in a pretzel. So this time, you people will choose your own roles. (brings box of paper slips to Andre) Andre, pick a role.
(reading off card) "Tommy, ten year old twin brother of Carter."
(makes airplane noise and goes to Beck) Beck, pick a role.
(reading off card) "Carter, ten year old twin brother of Tommy." I guess we're twins.
Then Mama's got some explaining to do.
(makes airplane noise and goes to Jade) Jade, pick a role.
(reading off card) "Nancy, loving wife of astronaut Walter Swain."
(Robbie attempts to pick a role, but Sikowitz makes another airplane noise and goes to Tori) Tori.
(reading off card) "Astronaut Walter Swain.........husband of Nancy...."
I'm supposed to play her wife?
I'll just pick another card!
(during the rehearsal of the play. Jade, in-character, is seen crying as both Andre and Beck, also in-character, are in front of her)
Don't you understand? Your father's an astronaut. It's his dream to walk on the moon but now that might never happen because of his narcolepsy!
It's when you're always falling asleep even when you're not tired.
(to Sinjin) Car door sound effect! (Sinjin clicks a button where it's being followed by a sound of a car alarm stopping)
(stands up, along with Beck and Andre) Oh, I just heard your father's car. Now, boys, no matter how narcoleptic he is, you pretend you don't notice. (notices Beck holding her apron) Don't touch Mommy. (pulls Beck's hand off her apron. After that, Tori, wearing a mustache and male clothes, enters)
(in a man voice) Nancy, boys, I'm home.
(to Andre) Hello, Car--- (since Tori's character has narcolepsy, she falls on the sofa and passes out)
Oh. It's all right, boys. It's all right now. (comes to Tori) Honey. Honey. (Tori suddenly gets up)
I'M UP! I'M UP! (to Beck) So, Tommy. How was school today?
(his and Andre's characters are twins) I'm Carter.
Ahh!! What kind of father am I?! I'm so darn narcoleptic I can't even tell my own twin sons apart.
It's not your fault they're identical. Look at them. (both Tori and Jade look at Beck and Andre)
Nancy, you're so--- (for another time, Tori passes out and falls in front of Jade)
Ahh.. Ooh.. Sweetheart! Darling!
No. No, you were saying I'm so?
Right, uh, you're so good, gentle. How can you love a sleepy loser like me?
You are no sleepy loser. You are an astronaut.
(the rehearsal ends) Eh, no you don't! Light a candle, Burf. This play stinks!
BBurf
I don't have a candle.
Then get a better haircut!
Shake it off, Burf. He's just in a mood.
