I don't know. This seems like a bad idea. It's like cheating.
It's not like cheating. It is cheating. This is cheating.
All S1
S1Addicts
How did you get so smart?
DDave
Uh, I uh, I read, I read like 8 or 9 books a week.
Wow!
Told ya.
DDave
I also do a lot of speed. All the time.
S1God Visits
LLuke
If you want, I could set you up with somebody, man. Yeah, matter fact I, I know somebody you might like.
Really?
LLuke
I'm telling you, he'll fulfill your every need.
He? He. Thank you, but I'm sorry, uh, I'm not gay.
LLuke
That's okay, man, neither is he. See, his name is Jesus.
Christ.
LLuke
Yeah, see you know his name! Say it again, wear it out!
[Trying on a shirt] What do you think?
Is that as big as your, uh, your boobs get?
Oh! I have a shirt for that!
S1Parents' Weekend
AHAmanda Haythe
When I was a little girl, I had this dream that a bear in the forest took my virginity.
A bear?
AAmanda
A bear of a man.
Ahh, the man-bear, yeah.
The name Ron will be like their new little secret inside joke for bad sex, you know? "How was your shag?" "Oh, I got Ronned, he Ronned me, it was terrible."
S1Eric Visits Again
You're not my girlfriend. You're my girl-enemy.
S1Rush and Pledge
Yeah, come on guys, don't make fun of Steve... Or his breasts will lactate.
Fraternities are evil. Okay, they brainwash you, they steal your soul, they take your firstborn for God sakes.
S1Hell Week
TTina
I am not fat! I am voluptuous! I got back.
Yeah, well just don't back into me!
Well at least you can't tell I peed myself back there.
S1Truth or Dare
I'm exploring my options.
Okay, Lizzie... Your right hand. Those are your options.
This is my friend Kelly.
KKelly
Hey. It's nice to meet you.
Kelly, oh, that's... That's Gaelic for, uh, church or warrior.
S1The Day After
Are you hungry for breakfast yet?
KKelly
Aww... yeah, I'm hungry... but not for breakfast, though.
Oh, so, uh, you want seconds. There's plenty of Ron left. Yeah I got... what do you want? I got Ron links. Those are good.
KKelly
That sounds good.
There's Ronffles, which is like a waffle, kind of.
KKelly
Kind of!
I'm right here. I exist. Please stop talking like that!
KKelly
Hey, Marshall, why don't you just go back to pretending like you're asleep like you did last night.
S1The Day After
Lloyd, you know how girls like you?
Yeah.
Um, I was wondering if you get a lot of 'em tonight, if it's cool if I take your overflow?
Marshall, I bequeath you my overflow.
YES!
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