Ron Garner quotes from Undeclared

Ron

My favorite film is You've Got Mail...You got Tom Hanks. You got Meg Ryan. You got a very likeable Greg Kinnear. You think you're better than it... this movie is gonna suck... then you watch it and it becomes a part of you. It's in you.

Ron

[Running down the hall yelling] I am the king! I am the king! I am the king! Do you know my name? Do you know it? I don't care, cause Adam Sandler knows it man, he knows it! I'm the chunky guy with glasses! Right here!

Ron

The name Ron will be like their new little secret inside joke for bad sex, you know? "How was your shag?" "Oh, I got Ronned, he Ronned me, it was terrible."

Ron

Fraternities are evil. Okay, they brainwash you, they steal your soul, they take your firstborn for God sakes.

Steven

Well I have to find a job or else you guys will be looking for a new roommate. My dad Forgot to pay the tuition.

Ron

Okay. Got it, I saw this in a film, you are a student by day and a lustrous man prostitute by night.

Ron

Tell you what, free or not, I can't eat another bite.

Marshall

Hey dude, what's up?

Steven

Well, I have to find a job, or else you guys will be looking for a new roommate. My dad forgot to pay my tuition...

Ron

Okay, I got it. I saw this in a film. You are a student by day, and an illustrious man prostitute by night.

Marshall

Hey! Dude, I could totally hook you up with a job in the cafeteria, man! Boss totally loves me, dude!

Steven

Uh, no thanks, I think I'll pass. I'd rather be a man whore than work there. No offense.

Marshall

No, no, it's cool.

Steven

Oh, is that jello, could I have some of that?

Marshall

No, you can't.

Ron

Thank you. I thought he was fattening me up to eat me or something. Ridiculous.

Rachel

These herbal remedies totally work. And they're all natural, from the earth!

Ron

Like one time I, uh, I ate grass until I puked like a dog and then I felt like so much better. Like that, right?

Lizzie

[Trying on a shirt] What do you think?

Ron

Is that as big as your, uh, your boobs get?

Lizzie

Oh! I have a shirt for that!

When I was a little girl, I had this dream that a bear in the forest took my virginity.

Ron

A bear?

A bear of a man.

Ron

Ahh, the man-bear, yeah.

Lizzie

This is my friend Kelly.

Hey. It's nice to meet you.

Ron

Kelly, oh, that's... That's Gaelic for, uh, church or warrior.

Ron

Are you hungry for breakfast yet?

Aww... yeah, I'm hungry... but not for breakfast, though.

Ron

Oh, so, uh, you want seconds. There's plenty of Ron left. Yeah I got... what do you want? I got Ron links. Those are good.

That sounds good.

Ron

There's Ronffles, which is like a waffle, kind of.

Kind of!

Marshall

I'm right here. I exist. Please stop talking like that!

Hey, Marshall, why don't you just go back to pretending like you're asleep like you did last night.