Spider-Man of Earth-12041 quotes from Ultimate Spider-Man

Nick Fury

Whatever you do, don't let them in.

Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin! Oh, great, now I'm doing it...

What did you do to my hot dog? Did you spit in it?

I thought about it, but even I'm not that merciless.

Change me back, before I...

Do what, little piggy? Go "wee, wee, wee" all the way home?

Iron Man

Waste disposal. I can't fit through those pipes.

Leave it to me. And lay off those iron cookies. Kidding! (slips down the pipe)

Iron Man

That kid is not well.

New York, Washington, Dallas, Cleveland. Doom was using this embassy as a base of operations for an invasion.

Really, Cleveland? Why?

I wanna say... I'm sorry. And kind of grateful. I guess I might have misjudged you, Phil.

Agent Phil Coulson

Despite the fact that you tried to ruin my evening, I might have misjudged you too, Parker. I'm impressed. But you ever call me "Phil" again, you'll be in detention for the rest of your life.

(regains consciousness) Uh. Where am I? Definitely not in Kansas anymore. (turns to the camera) What? It's a classic!

Doc Ock

(he's inside a green floating bubble without the tentacles, bold and wearing a new pair of glasses) You and your incensed blather. Do you ever shut up?!

Dr Octopus? (groans in disgust) You look horrible. Where are your robot arms? I'm not even sure, I can call you "Doc Ock" anymore. "Doc Jellyfish" or "Doc Slug" maybe, but that's as far as I go. (reaches to grab his left wrist)

Doc Ock

You might it difficult to call your friends, seeing as I took your little communicator. Unlike you, I learned from my mistakes. No Iron Man, no S.H.I.E.L.D., no friends are coming to save you. Tonight, it will be just the three of us: you, me and my revenge.

Could you serve up that revenge with a side of fries? I missed out on dinner tonight and..... Wait a second. I got it! "Dr Blow-fish"! (Doc Ock growls angrily)

Doc Ock

(after his bubble gets popped by Spider-Man) No! So...close!

I don't wanna toot my own horn....(laughs and turns to the camera) I said "toot". (back to a helpless Doc Ock)...but I just punked you, again! (his Spider Sense tingles) Spidey Sense? Okay, Doc. What else you got up your tentacle? (somebody tasers him from behind, pinning him to the floor. Spider-Man looks up to see...) Norman Osborn?! (he gets up) Wait, are you telling me in that "I Just Tased You, Bro" sorta way that you work for Doc Ock?

Work for him!? Hardly! Otto is my employee. I hired him to obtain your DNA.

Didn't know you were such a fan, Norman. Couldn't I have just given you a signed autograph instead?

Be silent! (he tasers Spider-Man again, causing him to scream in pain) Such power wasted on such a fool. I will put an end to better use than stopping petty crimes and cracking childish jokes. (he doesn't know that Doc Ock has slipped away) Imagine an unstoppable arachnid army under my control; I will crush the competition. Neither S.H.I.E.L.D. nor Stark will be able to challenge Oscorp Supremacy. That is the true use of power!

Well, when you put it that way.... (he screams as Osborn tasers him again)

I've been following you for so long I know everything about you. I almost feel like we're family.

You have no idea. (Osborn goes to take off Spidey's mask, but Doc Ock injects him with Spider-Man's DNA) What did you do?

Doc Ock

I've just given you everything you ever wanted, Norman. Consider this my resignation.

Doesn't pay to turn your back on anybody today. (he gets picked up by Doc Ock)

(groans and pants heavily) Otto... why? After all I've done for you?

Doc Ock

"For me"? (yells) "FOR ME"?!! You treated me like a slave! Destroyed my lab with me in it! And turned me into this. All you've done for me is give me pain!

Got a point there, Norman. Worst boss ever!

Doc Ock

It's not use fighting it, Osborn.

(he goes to grab Doc Ock, but collapses weakly) You... You've betrayed me.

Doc Ock

You arrogant buffoon! If I had cracked the formula, don't you think I would've used it on myself? I've just injected you with a fusion of Venom's AND Spider-Man's DNA. If my calculations are correct, it should produce a most interesting result, only this time on that I control.

Looks like the grown-ups have some talking to do. I'm just gonna.... (he wriggles free and spins a web to escape, but is smacked about by Doc Ock) Ouch! That hurt.

Doc Ock

D'you want to know the most delicious part, Osborn, you pompous half-wit? After all of your schemes of catching Spider-Man and stealing his DNA, you never realized he belonged to you all along. His powers are a product of Oscorp's technology! Although I have yet to discover how it happened, Spider-Man is your greatest accomplishment.

(groans in disgust, turns to the camera) Why do I suddenly feel so skeevy?

Doc Ock

(he puts a shock collar on Osborn's neck and cackles) As an art form, revenge is nothing if not beautiful. Now, there's still a matter of finding out what makes you tick. Fortunately, I no longer need you alive for that. (he pins Spider-Man down and brings out a circular saw blade) In fact, dissection is desirable.

Sounds fun. Let me check my schedule. How 'bout never? That work for ya?

Spider, Goblin, same blood! Spider, Goblin, family!

I don't see the resemblance.

What are you guys doing? I told you to stay out of this!

Power Man

We didn't listen. Picked that habit up from you.

Ugh, anyone smell barbecued bug?

It’s been kind of a rough day. I’m...

Extremely ripe! Yeesh. Here. Strong enough for a man, but made for a spider.

Ah, you are comedy gold, my friend. Or at least comedy oatmeal. As for me, you already know, I’m Deadpool. Superhero supreme with a side of bam. Nice to see you kept my color scheme when you copied my suit. Am I, like, your idol?

Never heard of you. I designed this costume myself.

Sure. Black and white eyes, red suit. Though you made it your own with the crossword theme. Oh wait. Webs! Those are webs. [laughs] No pouches though. You need pouches. Which reminds me why I’m here. Gotta' use the little boys’ computer.

Someone explain. Now. Not Nova.

Deadpool used to train with us. He left Fury’s hero program right before you got here.

Iron Fist

He follows his own drummer. And man, his drummer drums loud.

Power Man

Now he’s living the dream. A freelance hero. Fun, freedom, and fighting crime however he wants.

Nova

Deadpool is the best. The best. Everybody loves him.

Everybody? Even Fury?