But I don’t want tarts. I want white lightning. there not my mummy. there rather frightening.
When Janet Met Jonny
I don’t need a girlfriend.
Oh just come out and play.
I’ll tell em that I’m too young.
I’ll tell em that your gay
ok ill come for one pint, but then I’ll go back home.
nice one lad you wont regret it.
but ill make sure I'm alone
Cos you could keep any bitch like I'm a rich tea
Which tea?
I tell you I'm a Junkie, a flunkie,
Cruising my ass with an Oreo,
Don't need a ho.
Got my Garibaldi, not Barlow, he's gone now.
I need a Kit Kat,
When the rhyme's fat,
With the beat I can't cheat,
Can a biscuit cheat like a mother?
HELL NO!
But Johnny don't you know? Ohh-ohh
Don't be fooled when you dip'em in your tea,
They're not, they're not gonna make you happy,
I aint gonna go and have a roll in the hay,
No way, I'll have a fig roll,
Ya dig bro?
Don't wanna go out having fun,
I stay at one with the borbon,
A hob nob, that's the only dog I'm dipping,
I ain't flippin, wanna cookie?
You be tripping.
The ho's say
'try my choc chip treats.'
That ain't sweet,
I ain't no piece of meat,
I want wafer,
You been away for a night,
With a she-dog,
You want a biscuit,
BUT DOG DONT GOT NONE, NO!
Can you see the philosophy,
Of the desire,
That these biscuits,
They can cause in me?
And my soul will ever be entwined,
With the hole left,
When a mother, however fine,
Tries to share my life,
With my biccy time.
I got my lovely, crunchy biscuits,
Hell I'll say it once more in case you missed it,
I ain't dunking no girl like a biscuit,
Never gonna change so don't try to twist it.
Yeah!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.