Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place · Season 1
Okay. (throwing his cards in the air and gesturing wildly) I see-- I see huge, crazy shapes! Right, and-and-and a giant-- a giant Jack-in-the-Box!
A Jack-in-the-Box?!
Yeah! Yeah, a giant Jack-in-the-Box, th-th-that'll pop up and great the visitors, it-it's coned head swaying two storeys high! And, oh! And it'll say something like, like, "Ha-ha-ha! Hello, Boys and Girls!"
Mr. Dunville has accidentally ingested a medication which is causing the delusional behaviour you're witnessing.
I don't even know this guy, but look at the excitement that the Jack-in-the-Box is causing! It's infectious!
You drank my alergesic medication. You're sweating, you're stammering, you're delusional!
You don't know what I'm talking about, Berg, I'm just a little nervous.
Oh yeah? Then what kind of museum has a huge... Jack-in-the-Box? And stupid voices going, "Ha-ha! Hello, Boys and Girls!"
A Children's Museum?
...what?
This is for a Children's Museum, Berg.
Ohh!
So, I'm the one who's delusional!
Thank God(!) I thought it was me(!)
Sharon, he's ruining my presentation! (Turning to the panel.) He's ruining my presentation!
Yes, we're all aware of that.
(grabbing Berg's arm and leading him out.) We'll be going.
Are you sure you don't want to spin plates as a finale?
Listen, pal, I've had a really bad day!
Join the club!
Hey, you want a piece of me, huh?
(Makes Star Trek noises into voice recorder and does Captain Kirk impression) Captain's Log, Stardate 644.1: The... Klingons have surrounded us and are attempting to board the Enterprise. Kirk Out. (To panel) Mr. Sulu, take us to Warp Factor 8. Chekov! Nice dress.
Berg!
Klingons! (To Pete) Bones!
Idiot!
Berg, get out here, right now!
Scotty! Beam. Me. Up. Now! (To room) Wait here! I'll send help.
I screwed up big time.
Finally! An accurate diagnosis.
You're scared because you might finally care about something.
Then why do I screw up?
Because you're Berg!
When you're a big, famous surgeon look me up. I'll be the guy in Reno designing trailer parks.
"Mr. Sulu" called last night. You got the job.
I got the job? How can that be?
It's right here: Loved your designs. Hate your friends.
How come you didn't tell me they called last night?
Well last night I was too busy arguing with the sofa!
(Doing a Captain Kirk impression while talking to a skeleton) Bones! Talk to me, Bones. You've... got to say something... we've... shared so much. It's me, Jim, your... comrade, your... Captain, your friend. We've... got to talk about this. Show some... backbone, man!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
