Berta [removing groceries from the bag]: Salted butter... salted butter. Extra-large eggs... extra large eggs. Acidophilus milk... two-percent milk, you whiny pinhead.
Charlie
Morning.
Berta
Hey, how you feeling?
Charlie
Not too bad, really.
Berta
That was some fall you took.
Charlie
Yeah, if I hadn't been plastered, it might have killed me.
Berta
You think the liquor industry would promote that.
Charlie
It is a selling point. Right up there with making ugly people doable.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Two and a Half Men quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two and a Half Men pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.