Two and a Half Men · Season 6, Episode 17
[at the restaurant where Charlie is on his date with Chelsea]
Is everything all right, Mr. Harper?
Yeah, terrific. Listen, my date's in the ladies' room, and I need you to do something for me.
Not a problem. I'll have the valet bring your car around to the alley, I'll open the men's restroom window so you can shimmy out, and I'll have a cab standing by to take the lady home along with the customary chocolate soufflé to go.
[At Dr.Freeman office]
Hey Charlie, how's it going?
Boy you really blew it this time.
Did I now? How so?
(sighs) I've fallen in love with Chelsea.
(distracted) Oop my bad
Damn right your bad. There were plenty of medications that would have turned me into a happy little potato but would you prescribe them no. You said I had to get in touch with my feelings and express them with the people I care about.
Sorry I must have been drunk.
What the hell did I just swallow?
A one-bedroom condo.
What?
I put a diamond ring in your champagne glass!
Why?
What do you mean, "why?" I was gonna propose and I had no idea you'd chug it like a Jell-O shot!
That was a ring I just swallowed?!
Hey, who drinks champagne like that?
I was thirsty! Stop yelling at me!
How in God's name could you swallow it so easily?!
Hey, that's one of the things you love about me!
Hey, Berta, where do we keep the spaghetti strainer thingy?
It's called a colander. What do you need it for?
It's not for me. It's for Chelsea.
OK, what kind of Martha Stewart freak show you got going on up there?
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