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S2 E7

Two and a Half Men · Season 2, Episode 7

“A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana” quotes from Two and a Half Men

6 quotes

“A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana” · Season 2, Episode 7

In this episode: Charlie (3), Alan (3), Berta (2)

I-- I wish there were a better way to deal with Mom.

There is, but we're both too pretty for jail.

Charlie [slapping Alan with the plans for Evelyn's party]: Are? You? Happy? Now we have to throw a party for your crazy-ass mother!

Well, she's your mother, too!

How do you know? I could have been adopted.

You wish!

I do!

DDaisy

Anyway, I'm sleeping at a motel tonight.

Good idea. Maybe you'll meet your next husband on the walk there.

That's it, I can't work like this!

Well, you have to, Berta! We got fifty people coming here in a couple of hours.

Don't tell me, tell her.

Fine.

Berta [to Charlie]: Watch this.

[Alan tries to talk to Daisy, who is meditating outside on the deck]

DDaisy

HEY, I'M MEDITATING HERE!

Alan [to Evelyn]: If you want to sit here and stew in the venom and bile that is the soup of your being, then fine. I hope you drown in it! [to Jake]: Don't you ever talk to your mother this way!

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