Two and a Half Men · Season 1, Episode 4
I even made your coffee.
Thank you. [takes a sip] No, uh-uh. Not as good as Berta's.
But... it's her coffee! I just-- I just pushed the button.
Berta's tasted... I don't know, Christmassy.
Wh-- what does that mean, "Christmassy"? What--
It means "like Christmas".
No, you... you gotta work with me, Charlie. I mean, nutmeg, cinnamon, powdered reindeer...
I don't know. It's just that when you drank it, it just felt like Christmas morning and anything was possible.
[Berta has lower back pain while lifting up a laundry basket]
You, uh, you do a lot of lifting? [Berta gives him a dirty look] Of course you do. You're a maid, and I'm an ass.
I'm a housekeeper.
Yes.
And you're an ass.
You know what, Charlie? You're impossible! I give up. I'll go get Berta back.
Fine! Good!
All right, where does she live?
I don't know.
All right, what's her last name?
I don't know.
Your entire life revolves around this woman and you don't know anything about her!
Wait!.... She took a bus!
I stand corrected.
Since you can't live without her [Berta], you big baby, I will go apologize and get her back.
Great!
So, where does she live?
I don't know.
Okay, what's her last name? [Charlie starts to think] Your entire life depends on this woman and you know nothing about her!
Wait!.... She took a bus!
I stand corrected.
Oh! Oh! Uh....after she works here in the morning, she cleans some rockstar's house!
Okay. What rockstar? Where?
[knocks on the balcony door & replies] Steven Tyler from Aerosmith, 4456 Malibu Canyon Road.
[to Rose] Thank you.
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