We can't go out tonight. We're getting up early to go to Disneyland.
"We"?
Yeah. I thought maybe you'd want to come with us.
Alan, I'm not thrilled about having one small rodent in my house. Why would I drive 50 miles to see their kingdom?
CDCab Driver
Your mother sounds like a real piece of work.
Ah, you have no idea, my friend. My mother took my baby brother and dipped him in sissy sauce, and turned him into the people-pleasing control freak you see today.
That's right! And -- and she made him so scared of intimacy that -- that he has just this endless stream of gorgeous girls running in and out of his life.
Damn her.
CDCab Driver
You know, many psychologists agree: Until the core maternal relationship is resolved, most men are doomed to repeat dysfunctional childhood patterns.
Just drive the cab, Dr. Phil.
[About Jake] He can't go in the water this weekend, he's got an ear infection.
Awwwww, Mom...
No, it's OK, pal, we'll have a great weekend. We can go to Disneyland, we can play miniature golf, go bowling, bike riding, whatever you want.
Alan, relax. You're starting to sound like a tampon commercial.
Aw, I forgot to bring Porky back!
See, that's the thing... nothings' bringing Porky back.
What?! Porky's dead?!
Ba-deep, ba-deep, ba-deep; That's all, Folks!
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