Zip quotes from Tugs

Captain Star

[narrating] I remember a time, we'd all had a long hard day, but there was still one more job to do, and as Ten Cents was the first tug home, he got it. Engineering parts were needed to go to Scuttlebutt Pete the dredger, so they could start work first thing in the morning. I knew Ten Cents wasn't too happy, not because it was late; but because the Z-Stacks were on the same job.

Hey up, Zip! Look what the wind's blown in! Goody Two-Screws!

Ahoy, Zug! 'ere where do you want this barge from the engineers?

Too late for today, mate!

Too late? You don't need this till morning!

We might have!

No point now! It'll be dark soon!

Don't bug me, I've had a busy day. Now where'd you want it?

Real Eager Beaver Zip! Isn't he?

Well, got a reputation to live up-to, Zug. One of the best Tugs in the Harbour…

Yawn yawn! All work and no play makes Ten Cents a Dull tug!

Look, D'ya want this or do I take it back?!

Moor it by the Old Quay. If you're not too worn out?! (Both Z Switchers laugh loudly)

Captain Star

What's going on out there?

Oh, er- Captain Star, sir- Uh- Ten Cents didn't deliver our barge last night!

I did! You know I did!

You did not! It's not there! It's not- It's not there!

Captain Star

Alright, that's enough! I've already had a complaint from the clients. On your way now.

Er- Right, sir!

Have a nice day, Ten Cents!

Captain Star

I don't expect slip-ups like this from you, Ten Cents. The owners claim their barge is missing, never delivered.

That's not true, sir. It was my last tow of the day. It was!

Captain Star

Ten Cents, I have to take the client's word.

Sir, please, at least let me-

Captain Star

No. I'm putting you on dredger detail, with Scuttlebutt Pete.

Aw, no, sir! Not that! There's-

Captain Star

Ten Cents? GO.

I say, what's this all about? Star Fleet and Z Fleet together? Whatever next?

We're wasting time!

Captain Star

Silence!

Ten Cents' barge's the only ones gone…

Yeah, bet he knows what it’s about!

Him stealing barges. That’s what!

Cut that out about Ten Cents!

Yeah! Watch it, see?

Just careful what you say!

Captain Star

I said silence! Captain Zero and me have had a meeting. Missing barges is serious, we’re going to get to the bottom of it, understand? Captain Zero…

I know of a scheme to catch this Pirate…

Ha! I expect he knows several.

Aye, Set a crook to catch a crook!

What are you suggesting?!?

Captain Star

Quiet! We've decided to Set a trap.

Certain Barges are being rigged with flares that will Trigger off if the barge is even touched! Never mind Stolen.

Tied off my end. Right, Zip; I'll stay back here out of sight. You keep a lookout up front.

Why do I have to be up front? It's scary, I feel vulnerable! You come here, I'll come there, eh?

Oh no! You'll be much worse off here! Better there, believe me!

Is it… really bad over there?

Honestly, Zip? Would I lie to you, now would I?

(moves forward) Psst.

(starts shaking) Oh no! Please-Mr.-Pirate! I-don't-mean-no-harm! I.-UH.-I. UM.

No-no-no, Zug, it's me! Zip!

Stupid! Captain Zero said we're not to move. You nearly scared me!

If that's only nearly, I'd hate to see you really scared.

Get to your post!

I only wanted to see if it is better back there.

Well it isn't. Stay there and shut up!

(Noticeably sarcastically) Cor, Well, I dunno what we'd have done without your help.

Well… somebody had to flush them out, so, uh… we did.

We never really thought you stole the barges.

Oh no? Could've fooled me.

Weren't you just a little bit scared?

No… Nothing scares us, does it Zip? [he begins reversing, but Zip suddenly realises what's behind them]

Forward, Zug! Forward! The BARGE!!! [Zug hits the rigged barge, causing the flares to go off. The two tugs are startled and run off screaming]

Captain Star

[narrating] There were times (believe it or not) when the Star Tugs and Z-Stacks took on a big job together. One of those times I remember was when timber and tanning bark had to be brought down from the saw mills up river. And this year, it was especially important that we worked together. But Zug was making heavy going of towing an old hulk on its last journey.

Hi, Zug!

Hey, Zug! Zorran's going mad waiting for you! Where you been?

Captain Zero told me to deliver this old rustbucket to the breaker's yard.

You'll see Zorran at Mittsville before you get there. He's not gonna' like it…

I'm only carrying out orders! Zorran can't blame me!

Ha! Don't you believe it!

If they want this barge; they can't have it. See?

No, no- You keep it, Zorran!

Yes. yes, you keep it!

I will. Right, Fill 'er up; Kerosene.

't'll Take a while in this cold.

How'd you get past that fire barge, Ten Cents?

Easy!

'Ere, what's up with you two?

Ah, well, we blocked them up the creek to save the fuel contract for you, Zorran!

We only went for the light barge!

Huh?! You IDIOTS! We needed that light here, didn't we? To get Vienna in, for US, as well as for Them. Now, what's this about a fire barge? Have you taken one from its station?!

We only jammed it a little way!

Well, get back up there quick before the Fire Chief gets there!

Fire Chief won't be pleased with you two! 'Ere, it'll take 'em all night to get that fire barge free.

Aye, it will, aye-aye. Maybe they should've thought of that when they jammed it in.

Now listen to me and listen good. The Star Fleet are about to get the Ocean Liner Contract. [The Z-Stacks grumble in disappointment] And I'm NOT HAPPY!

We're not smiling, Captain Zero.

I'm glad you don't find it 'funny', Zorran. Now I want that contract, and YOU'RE going to get it for me!

But, How? I thought that...

I don't expect you to 'THINK', You're a Team, the Best, the Better Looking, more Powerful, and dare I say, More Devious...

I like that bit about Better Looking.

Yes, but what's Devious?

What's DEVIOUS is what's NECESSARY to make an Honest Living, in these days of CORRUPTION, and 'Bad Business Ethics'!

Oh.

Now, Fire up your boilers and get that Duchess Contract, there's NO TIME TO LOSE!

No problem, that bunch of Clapped out Sardine cans are gonna' find they've missed the boat, or My name's not Zorran...(laughing Deviously)

But it is Zorran! Isn't it?

Now listen. Hercules is up the coast, out of the way. Big Mac is the strongest Star left. If we knuckle him, we'll grab the liner contract.

Yeah, I know, but he's bigger than me---

HE'S TOWING BARGES, DUMMY! His route is close to the mud banks, okay?!

Yeah, so?

SO... You stuff him onto one! OKAY? STUPID?!

You've done it before to yourself, Zip, so you should soon catch on!

Yeah, I'll catch on, Zorran.

You'd better. Do it fast and get back fast. Now GET!

Devious, man. Devious!

Captain Star

[narrating] Zip and Zug knew exactly where to find Big Mac. They were waiting for him.

(innocently) Need a hand, Big Mac old buddy?

Well, guys, I...

Well it was a... nice day, Big Mac. Thought we'd try to... you know, spread a little happiness!

Yeah, uh... like helping our mates!

Can't go past and see one struggle...

Thanks, guys! Now I'll be back in good time for the Duchess!

Captain Star

[narrating] Big Mac had no idea the Z-Stacks were laying a trap for him!

Captain Star

[narrating] The Star fleet were doing their best without Big Mac, and for a while, it looked as though they were going to make it. But Zorran was still waiting for another chance.

Ah, looks like your plan didn't work, Zorran.

Hmm, if I could only get rid of that Switcher, Sunshine...

Thinking Devious, eh, Zorran?

No, Just thinking Contract. Look, they've slowed her right back!

So it turns out you were seen!

Impossible! I made sure!

Don't argue with me, You were SEEN! Now the Duchess knows what you did and we don't get the contract! What kind of idiots do I have working for me?

Really devious-

Shut it, Zip!

Uh, sorry about that, sir.

Er, Yeah, Sorry, Captain Zero.

Sorry.

Sorry?! Sorry? I DON't WANT TO HEAR! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! ALL OF YOU!!!

Come on, Zip! Zug, help me out!

I'll have to go ask Captain Zero. It's your salvage.

Never mind salvage! Tugs should help each other!

I'll get help! I'll get Big Mac!

Ten Cents, you alright? Why aren't those two idiots helping you?

Zip and Zug? They're waiting for me to become a pile of junk!

Oh no no! No! No!

Yes, well I'll report them for this!

What for? Ten Cents said it was his salvage. He did. Didn't he, Zip?

Well, yes. Yes!

Yeah well you said that. not me!

[Propping Gomez up using Lord stinker] I can't get under there, Ten Cents. I'm too tall! But Lord Stinker can help.