Zug quotes from Tugs

Captain Star

[narrating] I remember a time, we'd all had a long hard day, but there was still one more job to do, and as Ten Cents was the first tug home, he got it. Engineering parts were needed to go to Scuttlebutt Pete the dredger, so they could start work first thing in the morning. I knew Ten Cents wasn't too happy, not because it was late; but because the Z-Stacks were on the same job.

Hey up, Zip! Look what the wind's blown in! Goody Two-Screws!

Ahoy, Zug! 'ere where do you want this barge from the engineers?

Too late for today, mate!

Too late? You don't need this till morning!

We might have!

No point now! It'll be dark soon!

Don't bug me, I've had a busy day. Now where'd you want it?

Real Eager Beaver Zip! Isn't he?

Well, got a reputation to live up-to, Zug. One of the best Tugs in the Harbour…

Yawn yawn! All work and no play makes Ten Cents a Dull tug!

Look, D'ya want this or do I take it back?!

Moor it by the Old Quay. If you're not too worn out?! (Both Z Switchers laugh loudly)

Captain Star

What's going on out there?

Oh, er- Captain Star, sir- Uh- Ten Cents didn't deliver our barge last night!

I did! You know I did!

You did not! It's not there! It's not- It's not there!

Captain Star

Alright, that's enough! I've already had a complaint from the clients. On your way now.

Er- Right, sir!

Have a nice day, Ten Cents!

Captain Star

I don't expect slip-ups like this from you, Ten Cents. The owners claim their barge is missing, never delivered.

That's not true, sir. It was my last tow of the day. It was!

Captain Star

Ten Cents, I have to take the client's word.

Sir, please, at least let me-

Captain Star

No. I'm putting you on dredger detail, with Scuttlebutt Pete.

Aw, no, sir! Not that! There's-

Captain Star

Ten Cents? GO.

I say, what's this all about? Star Fleet and Z Fleet together? Whatever next?

We're wasting time!

Captain Star

Silence!

Ten Cents' barge's the only ones gone…

Yeah, bet he knows what it’s about!

Him stealing barges. That’s what!

Cut that out about Ten Cents!

Yeah! Watch it, see?

Just careful what you say!

Captain Star

I said silence! Captain Zero and me have had a meeting. Missing barges is serious, we’re going to get to the bottom of it, understand? Captain Zero…

I know of a scheme to catch this Pirate…

Ha! I expect he knows several.

Aye, Set a crook to catch a crook!

What are you suggesting?!?

Captain Star

Quiet! We've decided to Set a trap.

Certain Barges are being rigged with flares that will Trigger off if the barge is even touched! Never mind Stolen.

Tied off my end. Right, Zip; I'll stay back here out of sight. You keep a lookout up front.

Why do I have to be up front? It's scary, I feel vulnerable! You come here, I'll come there, eh?

Oh no! You'll be much worse off here! Better there, believe me!

Is it… really bad over there?

Honestly, Zip? Would I lie to you, now would I?

(moves forward) Psst.

(starts shaking) Oh no! Please-Mr.-Pirate! I-don't-mean-no-harm! I.-UH.-I. UM.

No-no-no, Zug, it's me! Zip!

Stupid! Captain Zero said we're not to move. You nearly scared me!

If that's only nearly, I'd hate to see you really scared.

Get to your post!

I only wanted to see if it is better back there.

Well it isn't. Stay there and shut up!

(Noticeably sarcastically) Cor, Well, I dunno what we'd have done without your help.

Well… somebody had to flush them out, so, uh… we did.

We never really thought you stole the barges.

Oh no? Could've fooled me.

Weren't you just a little bit scared?

No… Nothing scares us, does it Zip? [he begins reversing, but Zip suddenly realises what's behind them]

Forward, Zug! Forward! The BARGE!!! [Zug hits the rigged barge, causing the flares to go off. The two tugs are startled and run off screaming]

Hello, hello, hello! What's all this then? What's going on?

Clear off, Zorran. It's our business.

No, it's not! Deal's a deal! Ten Cents said he'd let us in on it!

No, I never!

You lot are up to something! And anyway, you owe us for two barges of timber. Move aside, Top Hat, and let me see.

O.J

Mind your own business, Zorran!

I am. This is my business, I'm looking for my timber!

Well, it isn't here! Just back off and leave us alone. All we've got 'ere is our float for the show.

[spots Grampus and laughs maliciously] Some float! Stealing government property, eh? Nice little number, boys, very nice. That's the 3rd crime to report. Captain Zero'll tell the Navy-

Move it, Zorran! Old boy.

Er, only a game, you understand, Hercules….

I know all about your games, Zorran. Beat it! And take your driftwood with you.

Oh, I'm going to. You'll hear about it from the Navy! Don't worry.

Yes, I'm off as well…. I wasted far too much time already!

Alright, m'dears, I don't think I'll wait around for answers. I want to be in the show, today, too! You can tell me all later. Now, where's Warrior got to…?

Oh, good. Here comes the Coast Guard.

If you're waiting for clearance on the schooners, forget it. They're quarantined!

Oh no…

What?!

Suspected microbonic plague aboard. Sorry, fellas.

Captain Star will be pleased, I don't think.

O.J

To think how I flogged my engine to get here fast.

And all for no purpose, it turns out.

Well, I think I'll go take a look-see anyway.

You're not going back then?

Err, Zug maybe. I'll mosey around here, see if there's a breeze out in the estuary.

Don't you need me, Zorran?

Push off, Zug!

Oh… Okay, Zorran.

He's up to something. I'd like to know what. You know, I never trusted that Zorran.

O.J

Ah, Zorran will know about it for sure.

He wouldn't try and take it off him, would he?

Well, of course the villain would. Who'd see him do it out there?

O.J

Right then! Ten Cents, you and I'll go see fair play.

Aye-aye, sir!

Oh dear, I don't know…. I do believe they see themselves as Sir Francis Drake.

Captain Star

[narrating] There were times (believe it or not) when the Star Tugs and Z-Stacks took on a big job together. One of those times I remember was when timber and tanning bark had to be brought down from the saw mills up river. And this year, it was especially important that we worked together. But Zug was making heavy going of towing an old hulk on its last journey.

Hi, Zug!

Hey, Zug! Zorran's going mad waiting for you! Where you been?

Captain Zero told me to deliver this old rustbucket to the breaker's yard.

You'll see Zorran at Mittsville before you get there. He's not gonna' like it…

I'm only carrying out orders! Zorran can't blame me!

Ha! Don't you believe it!

What are you doing with that? We're all on Log Detail. Remember?!

Oh, heh heh, er, sorry Zorran, I did remember. Captain Zero, er said to take it to the Breakers Yard on my way.

On your way?! It's a mile further up river. I've been waiting for you like I've anchored 'ere til' I rust!

Oh, yeah, heh heh, but, We've gotta' do what the Captain says Zorran. Unless they get it today, they won't take it. They've a lot of breaking up to do.

Including You, if you don't get moving!

It- It- It's blocked the river!

Course it's blocked the river, you idiot!

I'm trapped! This side. what can I do?

Wait there and claim salvage. [chuckles]

But…help could be ages getting here!

You've got company. All the Stars are on your side. I've had plenty of time to see who was there, haven't I? That means Z-Stacks have got all the harbour to ourselves, haven't we? Captain Zero will be pleased!

[now scared] D-Don't leave me here!

Sorry, Zug. We'll have to manage without you!

O.J.

What a mess, in't it? Captain Star'll go mad!

Well, I did tell him, O.J. Working with Z-Stacks just doesn't work.

It- It- It wasn't my fault! Ask Zorran!

One of Zorran's little schemes? Hrrgn, I thought as much…

O.J.

Never mind that. Let's just get out of here.

Now for the voice of experience…

O.J.

Tell you what: We'll make a battering ram. Lash up three or four barges.

Yeah…

O.J.

Well, they're heavy with logs already! Then we get behind them and ram the tramper!

Great, O.J.! Yeah!

Might work… Well, let's try it.

Well, I'll try Anything. However unlikely…

Oh I Say! Oh!

Help, I'm trapped!

What? Well, no more then the rest of us? Hmm…

I hope we won't get sucked under.

Ooh, You got a problem there, Zorran.

(sarcastically) Oh yeah?

Hey, Zug! Zug! Doesn't Zorran look funny, eh? Stuck up on those rocks!

Well, er- I suppose that er- heh… heh heh… (Zug desperately tries not to laugh, but can't help himself)

Stop laughing! Stop laughing, it's not funny!

Well, we think it is! Don't we, Zug?

Yeah. Uh, no….

O.J.

Alright, joke's over. Back and pick up our barges. Problem solved.

Thanks to me, you didn't believe I'm an expert, did you?

Aye, true.

Well, there was an element of luck, I suspect, but I must say, I am quite impressed.

Well, I can't play any more games with you. I've got real work to do.

Bye, Billy!

Captain Star

[narrating] For once in his life, Shoepack had done a great job.

Never mind him. What about me?!

In trouble, Zorran? Looks like you got crushed instead of Little Ditcher!

Captain Star

[narrating] [Chuckles] The only thing Zorran succeeded in doing that day, was trapping himself instead of the Star Tugs!

If they want this barge; they can't have it. See?

No, no- You keep it, Zorran!

Yes. yes, you keep it!

I will. Right, Fill 'er up; Kerosene.

't'll Take a while in this cold.

Now listen. Hercules is up the coast, out of the way. Big Mac is the strongest Star left. If we knuckle him, we'll grab the liner contract.

Yeah, I know, but he's bigger than me---

HE'S TOWING BARGES, DUMMY! His route is close to the mud banks, okay?!

Yeah, so?

SO... You stuff him onto one! OKAY? STUPID?!

You've done it before to yourself, Zip, so you should soon catch on!

Yeah, I'll catch on, Zorran.

You'd better. Do it fast and get back fast. Now GET!

Devious, man. Devious!