Top Hat quotes from Tugs

That's odd. I thought I was the only one stuck with coal deliveries today. I wonder what's he up to? I think I'd better check with Captain Star…

I say, what's this all about? Star Fleet and Z Fleet together? Whatever next?

We're wasting time!

Captain Star

Silence!

Ten Cents' barge's the only ones gone…

Yeah, bet he knows what it’s about!

Him stealing barges. That’s what!

Cut that out about Ten Cents!

Yeah! Watch it, see?

Just careful what you say!

Captain Star

I said silence! Captain Zero and me have had a meeting. Missing barges is serious, we’re going to get to the bottom of it, understand? Captain Zero…

I know of a scheme to catch this Pirate…

Ha! I expect he knows several.

Aye, Set a crook to catch a crook!

What are you suggesting?!?

Captain Star

Quiet! We've decided to Set a trap.

Certain Barges are being rigged with flares that will Trigger off if the barge is even touched! Never mind Stolen.

Dash good idea, this. Barge in Place, Flare set to go off. Now I thought we were going to be in pairs… [he hears another tug approaching, looks round, & sees who his partner is] Oh no, Not Warrior?!

This is our post, Top Hat- [he inadvertently Bumps into a Bell Buoy as he pulls up] Oops?!? Sorry little fella!

Of all the tugs, I get the clumsiest!

It'll be great if you and I catch 'em.

How thrilling. How absolutely thrilling. Now pay attention, Warrior; This is a wartime situation. I’ll muster up my cunning, my sense of tactical advantage. Now, back up!

What’s that then? Tactical?

Em. It means thinking strategically!

What's that then? Strategical… Er- Um. What you said.

Ugh, Tactical, you dummy!

Tactical… Strategical…

Oh, give me strength. Positions, Warrior! AT THE DOUBLE!

This is a nice, tactical spot. Quite strategical- Quite good, eh?

Hey, Top Hat, something's going on over there. I'll take a look.

Some flare!

Captain Star

There's an emergency! Lillie Lightship is sinking!

The Captain is correct! She is sinking! The Zeros can't help, so adjust yourselves to the problem, and get organised, okay?!

Captain Star

That's it. You'll have to forget the festivities for a while.

I say, this is an outrage!

Captain Star

This is an emergency job!

I see…

Well Grampus, you've been a very good submarine. Haha, we're all sad to see you go. But as you know; the Navy's got no further use for such a small vessel.

Grampus

Proud to have been of service, sir. Thank you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to time to think.

Hahaha, very well, and good luck, laddie.

Grampus

(squirts one last salute of water as Bluenose leaves him) If the modern Navy's gonna' be like him, I'd be better off down with the fishes.

[TV version only] All guns ready for target practice! Stand by to fire at white flags!

Grampus

What th-? Why are they parading out here? They're gonna' be in the line of fire! STAY CLEAR!

[TV version only] Ahoy, Tugs! Clear the area! Keep clear!

It's the destroyer, warning us we're in the danger zone!

O.J.

Ignore it!

What, do you mean? And get a direct hit? No, thank you very much! THEY'RE GOING TO OPEN FIRE!

[TV version only] KEEP CLEAR!

Keep going, Top Hat! The more of us here, the safer we are!

Grampus

Get clear! They're about to start firing!

O.J.

Grampus, just do as I say. Give him a line, Ten Cents!

Alright, O.J.!

O.J.

Big Mac'll leave the barge in your place. Let's hope all they see from that distance, is the target flags. Right! Keep moving!

Grampus

The Navy's not going to like this! Just leave me here, or you'll all get into trouble! Please… Don't do it!

Hello, hello, hello! What's all this then? What's going on?

Clear off, Zorran. It's our business.

No, it's not! Deal's a deal! Ten Cents said he'd let us in on it!

No, I never!

You lot are up to something! And anyway, you owe us for two barges of timber. Move aside, Top Hat, and let me see.

O.J

Mind your own business, Zorran!

I am. This is my business, I'm looking for my timber!

Well, it isn't here! Just back off and leave us alone. All we've got 'ere is our float for the show.

[spots Grampus and laughs maliciously] Some float! Stealing government property, eh? Nice little number, boys, very nice. That's the 3rd crime to report. Captain Zero'll tell the Navy-

Move it, Zorran! Old boy.

Er, only a game, you understand, Hercules….

I know all about your games, Zorran. Beat it! And take your driftwood with you.

Oh, I'm going to. You'll hear about it from the Navy! Don't worry.

Yes, I'm off as well…. I wasted far too much time already!

Alright, m'dears, I don't think I'll wait around for answers. I want to be in the show, today, too! You can tell me all later. Now, where's Warrior got to…?

You know, it never fails to amaze me. Every day, I see something new. Today it's the sight of a floating sack of coal, no less! [laughing]

If you'd been shifting coal, you'd be dirty!

(sniffing Big Mac for a second) Well, at least you don't smell, that's something. (Laughs mockingly with the others)

Look here, Top Hat-!

Course he don't smell, Top Hat. Coal don't have a smell!

I know it doesn't, Warrior, but he could get a hose down before coming to join us. We Star Tugs have a reputation to keep up! Even you, Warrior, after a day in the garbage yards, don't look too scruffy!

All you worry about is keeping that piece of glass on your eye clean!

Not only my monocle, all of me!

'Cause you always get out of nasty jobs, don't ye?

Captain Star

Alright, alright, cut the backchat! Ah- At least one Star Tug's already been working.

Ha! Well, we can see that!

Captain Star

Yeah, that's enough, Top Hat! You go and stretch your neck with car ferry duties, then take the garbage barge to the city dump.

That'll be nice for ya!

Garbage? Me? Do I have to put up with this?

I have to put up with you, Top Hat.

Yeah.

Captain Star

Top Hat, why do I always have an argument with you? Now move out, come on.

Yes sir. Of course. I'm so sorry.

Bye, Top Hat.

But I don't see why-

Get on with it!

Oh well, here goes. (Breathes in) Really?! Some people are so tiresome…

(laughs shortly) Y'know, to be fair to him, he does work as hard as we do, really.

O.J.

We know. It's just his attitude gets too much sometimes.

Go into reverse if you please, it's MY Water. [A Passenger Train crosses the bridge pulling two carriages]

I repeat, it is MY WATER!

We're Heavier!

My load is WIDER!

You've 5 Seconds to back up!

What, Well, so have YOU then…

Right, 5!

He means it, Top Hat!

I am coming through, 4!

So am I, 3!

We'll see! 2!

1! Get to the bridge fast, Zeb, and you’ve got him!

Watch my wake! That Star's met his match!

Captain Star

[narrating] Both Zebedee and Top Hat put on full power and surged forwards towards each other and the bridge.

Top Hat, look at his load!

He's going to hit! Hold on, I'm going into reverse!

He's backin' up! Didn't I tell you, Zak?

Didn't even make a fight of it! (laughs, but stops) Oh no…. I see why now; the bridge! Zeb! REVERSE ENGINES! QUICK!!!

Oh no! I- I can't stop! Ooooh, no! …help!

That's real Zero thinking, dummy.

I s'pose Zak an' I'd better go and get some help…

(hears an engine's whistle) That’s a mail train, isn't it? Oh dear, the bridge! It's… It's… Wait a minute! I've got it! If I can get that steel rig under the bridge; maybe it'll hold while the train gets across. It's worth a try.

Don't waste time cutting me free. Take me with you.

You'll take that risk, Stinker?

Of course I will, it's only rubbish.

Captain Star

[narrating] Top Hat's idea was to try and prop up the bridge, if he could get the steel rig into place before the train got there. It was signalled through, so there was no way anybody could stop it.

[Straining] Pull!!!

Captain Star

[narrating] The bridge was weakened by the accident. Top Hat could only hope his idea would work. There was no way of warning the train!

Phew… That was lucky.

Well done, Top Hat. You saved the-

It's the Goods Train!

We can't save this one! It’s IMPOSSIBLE!

No it’s not! Push me under that rail, quick!

I know. Don’t remind me. Just get me under the end of that rail!

(pushed Lord Stinker into place, and Stinker's idea works, Little Owl lands safely in Stinker's hold, its wagons veer into the canal.) It’s worked, Stinker! You’re a smelly old genius, nothing less!

Hmm, took some brain to save that train…

Oh, I say, hehe.

I’ll never complain about your smell again.

Rubbish can be valuable stuff.

Someone's having a dockside celebration.

Oh, no, if there was a party, I would have been invited.

Perhaps they don't need a long-necked highbrow. (he and Eddie laugh)

Very droll. They certainly won't want lowlifes like you there. I say, what's that?

Emergency! Emergency! Get them tied off and follow on, Top Hat! Might need all hands!

[VHS version] Yeah, follow on, Top Hat! Fire at the old dock!

[TV version] Yeah, Top Hat, follow on! Fire at the old dock!

I'd love to join you, but these two are in a right state!

Always our fault, eh, Frank?

Never 'is, eh, Eddie?

He could take us along. D'like to see a fire.

The only fire you're going to see -- I can tell you this for a fact -- is the one I will set under your tracks if you DON'T GET A MOVE ON!

(Sarcastically) Ooooohhh!

There!

O.J

Phew… just look at the state of the dockside!

Yeah, but that's nothing compared with what could have happened. If Sunshine and Warrior hadn't contained the fire, it could've easily spread to the city. Well done, all of ya'.

(is now on the scene, just seconds late to contribute.) Oh, dear. Seems I'm too late to save the day. What a pity!

Heh. Well, well, well! Get a drift of that, will you, lads?! Top Hat, all dressed up and nowhere to go! (He laughs mockingly, alongside Zak and Zebedee.)

Ugh, if the sun gets any stronger today, my varnish will bubble for certain!

O.J

It's the longest heatwave I can remember.

And You go back to the Ice Age, O.J, by the sound of your engine.

Oh, good. Here comes the Coast Guard.

If you're waiting for clearance on the schooners, forget it. They're quarantined!

Oh no…

What?!

Suspected microbonic plague aboard. Sorry, fellas.

Captain Star will be pleased, I don't think.

O.J

To think how I flogged my engine to get here fast.

And all for no purpose, it turns out.

Well, I think I'll go take a look-see anyway.

You're not going back then?

Err, Zug maybe. I'll mosey around here, see if there's a breeze out in the estuary.

Don't you need me, Zorran?

Push off, Zug!

Oh… Okay, Zorran.

He's up to something. I'd like to know what. You know, I never trusted that Zorran.

O.J

Ah, Zorran will know about it for sure.

He wouldn't try and take it off him, would he?

Well, of course the villain would. Who'd see him do it out there?

O.J

Right then! Ten Cents, you and I'll go see fair play.

Aye-aye, sir!

Oh dear, I don't know…. I do believe they see themselves as Sir Francis Drake.