Be careful now. You have to guide the cranes, so they can lower the tug onto that raft.
Right. Yeah, yeah, I see it O.J. Right it's up ahead, Sunshine.
What's going on? What's he doing?
BMBig Mac
Get your own lights onto that rig, quick! That's it!
It's alright, I've got it again, Big Mac! Straight ahead!
Oi, don't push! Hard astern! What you doing?!
Oh! Ah! Hold tight! Whoa! Ah!
Lightning, that's what happened. But that fire object didn't believe me. He thought I was going too fast and a spark flew out of my stack, but it's not true. (scoffs) Anyway, I can't be bothered to argue anymore.
You must have done something….
Lightning? Well, it's possible, I suppose. But on such a nice day as this?
BMBig Mac
Anything's possible with Boomer, he really is jinxed.
[narrating] After the schooner incident, I decided there was only one thing for it: I had Sunshine take Boomer to Lucky's Yard with strict instructions that he was never to be used as a tug, ever again, no matter what!
I say, what's this all about? Star Fleet and Z Fleet together? Whatever next?
Ten Cents' barge's the only ones gone…
Yeah, bet he knows what it’s about!
Him stealing barges. That’s what!
BMBig Mac
Cut that out about Ten Cents!
Zug Well we didn't mean anything by…
BMBig Mac
Just careful what you say!
I said silence! Captain Zero and me have had a meeting. Missing barges is serious, we’re going to get to the bottom of it, understand? Captain Zero…
I know of a scheme to catch this Pirate…
Ha! I expect he knows several.
BMBig Mac
Aye, Set a crook to catch a crook!
What are you suggesting?!?
Quiet! We've decided to Set a trap.
Certain Barges are being rigged with flares that will Trigger off if the barge is even touched! Never mind Stolen.
Ahoy there! Ahoy! You there!
BMBig Mac
What do you want? We can't stop, I'm afraid, this load's urgent.
I quite understand, old man, but we are looking for one of our submarines. He is called; Grampus.
I ain't seen him since we left Lucky's Yard. He saved Lillie Lightship from sinking, so he's probably taking a well-deserved break somewhere.
Aha, that may be so, but he is one of ours, you know. He is not a civilian plaything!
BMBig Mac
Okay, Bluenose, that's enough. We haven't seen him so make wake, okay? My work's important.
Oh, your work's important! Pahaha! What you need, laddie, is a lesson in Naval discipline! (Grampus arrives) Aha, what has we here- What- [Grampus Squirts water in Bluenose's face] ooohh, What the-?!
They're going to blow me up, today.
BMBig Mac
What?! But he's been a hero out there with Lillie and you lot are going to blow him up?! That's some kind of thanks.
Ah, you civilian lot may not understand this, but us Naval types know when we are past it. Instead of rotting in some breaker's yard, we volunteer us for gunnery practice! Targets, you know!
But that's not fair! He's still a useful submarine, he does lots of things for us!
For you, maybe! For us, he's old and out of date! Now I can't stand around here jawing with you all day, my work's important. Big Mac will understand that, won't you, sir?
[Big Mac grunts]
Come on, Grampus! Back to base! Target practice at 1400 hours!
Grampus! Grampus, don't go! Dive and hide!
It's no use… They'd catch up with me again somewhere. Thanks for all the fun we've had together. Bye, Ten Cents. Bye!
BMBig Mac
Listen, we can't let this happen. I'll handle the barges, you go off and find O.J., tell him about Grampus. He'll know what to do… We'll save our mate Grampus if it's the last thing we do!
Well Grampus, you've been a very good submarine. Haha, we're all sad to see you go. But as you know; the Navy's got no further use for such a small vessel.
Proud to have been of service, sir. Thank you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to time to think.
Hahaha, very well, and good luck, laddie.
(squirts one last salute of water as Bluenose leaves him) If the modern Navy's gonna' be like him, I'd be better off down with the fishes.
NDNavy Destroyer
[TV version only] All guns ready for target practice! Stand by to fire at white flags!
What th-? Why are they parading out here? They're gonna' be in the line of fire! STAY CLEAR!
NDNavy Destroyer
[TV version only] Ahoy, Tugs! Clear the area! Keep clear!
It's the destroyer, warning us we're in the danger zone!
What, do you mean? And get a direct hit? No, thank you very much! THEY'RE GOING TO OPEN FIRE!
NDNavy Destroyer
[TV version only] KEEP CLEAR!
BMBig Mac
Keep going, Top Hat! The more of us here, the safer we are!
Get clear! They're about to start firing!
Grampus, just do as I say. Give him a line, Ten Cents!
Big Mac'll leave the barge in your place. Let's hope all they see from that distance, is the target flags. Right! Keep moving!
The Navy's not going to like this! Just leave me here, or you'll all get into trouble! Please… Don't do it!
Hey, Big Mac! I've just heard from Sally Seaplane that Hercules has got the Princess Alice in tow.
BMBig Mac
Mmm, sounds serious.
Yeah, been damaged at sea.
BMBig Mac
Not another of your disasters, Warrior?
BMBig Mac
[laughs] I was joking! Come on, we'll tell O.J., then go out and bring her in.
Yeah. Anything to help the Princess Alice!
Docking a liner can be a hazardous business for tugs, especially with cross currents and the danger of this high wind. Usually the liner can assist, but the Princess Alice couldn't do much due to the damage to her rudder. With all their expertise and experience, the Star Tug team were finding her very difficult to keep under their control…
What's happening back there? Come on, Stars!
BMBig Mac
She's not responding, Hercules! The wind's too strong!
I can't hold on much longer!
I'm pulling full-steam, can't do no more!
We need another tug! Just one more'd do it!
Sorry, I can't help! I'm needed in case of fire!
Oh, look out, I'm in TROUBLE!
We're losing it! We'll be crushed between ship and quayside!
This is two you owe me, switchers!
Zebedee! Aw, thanks, just in time! You're a lifesaver!
Thank you, Zebedee! She's under control again!
Zero'll have my boiler for this…
You know, it never fails to amaze me. Every day, I see something new. Today it's the sight of a floating sack of coal, no less! [laughing]
BMBig Mac
If you'd been shifting coal, you'd be dirty!
(sniffing Big Mac for a second) Well, at least you don't smell, that's something. (Laughs mockingly with the others)
BMBig Mac
Look here, Top Hat-!
Course he don't smell, Top Hat. Coal don't have a smell!
I know it doesn't, Warrior, but he could get a hose down before coming to join us. We Star Tugs have a reputation to keep up! Even you, Warrior, after a day in the garbage yards, don't look too scruffy!
BMBig Mac
All you worry about is keeping that piece of glass on your eye clean!
Not only my monocle, all of me!
BMBig Mac
'Cause you always get out of nasty jobs, don't ye?
Alright, alright, cut the backchat! Ah- At least one Star Tug's already been working.
Ha! Well, we can see that!
Yeah, that's enough, Top Hat! You go and stretch your neck with car ferry duties, then take the garbage barge to the city dump.
Garbage? Me? Do I have to put up with this?
BMBig Mac
I have to put up with you, Top Hat.
Top Hat, why do I always have an argument with you? Now move out, come on.
Yes sir. Of course. I'm so sorry.
BMBig Mac
Get on with it!
Oh well, here goes. (Breathes in) Really?! Some people are so tiresome…
(laughs shortly) Y'know, to be fair to him, he does work as hard as we do, really.
We know. It's just his attitude gets too much sometimes.
Well, well, well. The Star tugs. 'Ere, What time d'you call this, eh? You needn't've bothered. There's no work for you. We've got it all sewn up.
BMBig Mac
We've as much right to go for this contract as you have.
Think you'll do a better job, big mouth?! You ain't got no chance! Three against one, see, no chance!
What do you mean, three against one? There's only two of ya.
Well, you don't do much 'cept get in the way, Warrior, so we count you on our side. Heh heh heh. Can't stop here all day, we've work to do.
BMBig Mac
Zak's engine doesn't sound too healthy, Warrior. Hey, Big Mickey, how about a real fast load up?
BMBig Mickey
I'm ready for you! I heard what they said. Hope you beat 'em to it!
BMBig Mac
We will, no problem.
BMBig Mac
See, we're catching 'em! …hello, what are they up to?
They're heading for the canal.
BMBig Mac
I know that. That's it, they're taking a shortcut!
Alright, we'll follow 'em!
BMBig Mac
No, we won't. They won't get through, it's high tide.
BMBig Mac
Bridges, Warrior, bridges!
BMBig Mac
High tide, high load. [The Goods Engine crosses a bridge pulling three wagons]
BMBig Mac
Ten out of ten. They won't get that load under, will they? Let them go. They'll have to come back, and we'll be out of sight!
[narrating] An alligator tug called Billy Shoepack worked up river, delivering essentials like gasoline, ropes, fuses and dynamite from Mittsville to the logging camps. Why an alligator tug? Well, you can see, he's just as low in the water. And in Billy's case; just as dangerous.
Ah, look who's here! It's Shoepack, the alligator tug!
Hey, Star Tugs! Don't you wish you carried something more exciting than wood?
BMBig Mac
No thanks. Just get that stuff away from here, you're welcome to it.
Dynamite's exciting stuff! Makes lovely big bangs! Fairly harmless if you know how to handle it, like I do.
You're not unloading next to us, are you?
Afraid so, O.J.. Don't worry, if it goes up, we all go up! [laughing]
No, it's safe. Only joking.
BMBig Mac
You'd better be..!
What a mess, in't it? Captain Star'll go mad!
Well, I did tell him, O.J. Working with Z-Stacks just doesn't work.
It- It- It wasn't my fault! Ask Zorran!
BMBig Mac
One of Zorran's little schemes? Hrrgn, I thought as much…
Never mind that. Let's just get out of here.
Now for the voice of experience…
Tell you what: We'll make a battering ram. Lash up three or four barges.
Well, they're heavy with logs already! Then we get behind them and ram the tramper!
BMBig Mac
Might work… Well, let's try it.
Well, I'll try Anything. However unlikely…
BMBig Mac
I hope we're far enough away?!
3… 2… 1… FIRE!
[The Fuse burns down, but there's no explosion.]
(Disappointed) ….What's happened?
Probably the fuse got damp, that's all. One volunteer to go and see!
BMBig Mac
What do you mean, one volunteer?
While I fix another fuse wire.
That, so you say, is you.
Right, Leave it to me. None of you move.
Anyone going to move? I'm not gonna' move.
[narrating] They began to wonder how it was that Billy Shoepack hadn't blown himself up before this.
I was dead right. Hmm, just a wet fuse.
BMBig Mac
Or was it never fixed properly?
No problem, it will go this time; sky high!
Sky high is too high by far…
Yeah, come on. Get on with it!
Don’t rush me, I do the countdown! 10… 9… 8…-
Ugh! What’s happening?!
(the raging flow forces Zorran back downstream)
Oooaarrgh!!!
GERONIMO! What a sight. What a bang. BRILLIANT!!!
I do believe we have to agree with him. Whoops!
Don't fight the flow, go with it!
(cheers) Woo-hoo! Come on lads!
BMBig Mac
Ooh, You got a problem there, Zorran.
Hey, Zug! Zug! Doesn't Zorran look funny, eh? Stuck up on those rocks!
Well, er- I suppose that er- heh… heh heh… (Zug desperately tries not to laugh, but can't help himself)
Stop laughing! Stop laughing, it's not funny!
Well, we think it is! Don't we, Zug?
Alright, joke's over. Back and pick up our barges. Problem solved.
Thanks to me, you didn't believe I'm an expert, did you?
Well, there was an element of luck, I suspect, but I must say, I am quite impressed.
Well, I can't play any more games with you. I've got real work to do.
[narrating] For once in his life, Shoepack had done a great job.
Never mind him. What about me?!
In trouble, Zorran? Looks like you got crushed instead of Little Ditcher!
[narrating] [Chuckles] The only thing Zorran succeeded in doing that day, was trapping himself instead of the Star Tugs!
Tugs · 133 quotes
