Zak quotes from Tugs

Captain Star

[narrating] That was enough for Captain Zero. He got rid of the unhappy Boomer. Well, I took him back intending to use him for simple jobs where Nothing could go wrong.

See you, Boomer! If you need any help sinking, let me know…

Oh, hi, Scuttlebutt….

You look gloomy this morning, Ten Cents. What's up?

Oh, nothing.

I hear you've lost a barge.

Oh, you would be the first to know, wouldn't you?

It's no secret. Talk of the harbour.

Well, it's bound to be, once you know.

Grampus

I've heard the rumour.

Grampus, what do you know about it?

Grampus

Well, you've lost a barge.

Don't waste time, do you, Scuttlebutt?

Aye, rumours are his speciality.

Was only trying to help. The more who know about it, the sooner you'll be in the clear.

I am in the clear! Get that clear!

Naughty, naughty! Temper, temper!

Lose his stack if it wasn't screwed on!

Oh, one of these days!

Well, well, well. The Star tugs. 'Ere, What time d'you call this, eh? You needn't've bothered. There's no work for you. We've got it all sewn up.

Yeah, you said it, Zak.

We've as much right to go for this contract as you have.

Think you'll do a better job, big mouth?! You ain't got no chance! Three against one, see, no chance!

What do you mean, three against one? There's only two of ya.

Well, you don't do much 'cept get in the way, Warrior, so we count you on our side. Heh heh heh. Can't stop here all day, we've work to do.

So long, losers.

Zak's engine doesn't sound too healthy, Warrior. Hey, Big Mickey, how about a real fast load up?

I'm ready for you! I heard what they said. Hope you beat 'em to it!

We will, no problem.

Told you about your engine, Zak. You've should've had it seen to.

[surrounded by smoke] Nothing wrong with it. Anyway, I've got an idea to fool those two, Listen: If we cut through the canal, we'll get there first. Got to. If they follow us, they can't get past cause it's not wide enough. Right…?

Brilliant, I don't know how you do it. Hey, let's go. Wait till we tell Cap'n Zero how we beat them.

Go into reverse if you please, it's MY Water. [A Passenger Train crosses the bridge pulling two carriages]

I repeat, it is MY WATER!

We're Heavier!

My load is WIDER!

You've 5 Seconds to back up!

What, Well, so have YOU then…

Right, 5!

He means it, Top Hat!

I am coming through, 4!

So am I, 3!

We'll see! 2!

1! Get to the bridge fast, Zeb, and you’ve got him!

Watch my wake! That Star's met his match!

Captain Star

[narrating] Both Zebedee and Top Hat put on full power and surged forwards towards each other and the bridge.

Top Hat, look at his load!

He's going to hit! Hold on, I'm going into reverse!

He's backin' up! Didn't I tell you, Zak?

Didn't even make a fight of it! (laughs, but stops) Oh no…. I see why now; the bridge! Zeb! REVERSE ENGINES! QUICK!!!

Oh no! I- I can't stop! Ooooh, no! …help!

That's real Zero thinking, dummy.

I s'pose Zak an' I'd better go and get some help…

Now listen, you two: Towing this lot's the tricky bit. Zak, move off first.

Right.

Go slow and don't take any nonsense from the Star mob. Show them explosives don't scare us. If they come too close, just-

BLOW THEM UP!!!

Yeah… but with your hooter, dummy. No silly games, okay? You don't have to be that brave.

Okay Zorran, sir.

And watch out for the Naval twerp Bluenose. Your job is to deliver that barge directly to Naval tramper, Kraka-Toa. If Bluenose gives you different orders, ignore him and refer him to me. Just keep it steady. Keep flying that danger flag! Zebedee! Next!

That Bluenose told me he was in charge and that I must obey orders.

You are; Mine, remember that.

I'll remember that, Zorran, sir….

Eat your heart out, Star Stacks. This trip's worth twenty garbage barges, ferry trips or girder tows. Heh… if we don't get blown up. Right, easy does it…

Emergency! Emergency! Clear the area immediately!

STAY STILL, AND OBEY ORDERS!

O.J.

Move out! Move out! Save yourselves! Ten Cents, cut your barge rope, and pull free.

My barge is clear, but Bluenose is blocking the way!

I know what to do. Stay still, and don't panic!

Oh, come on, Bluenose, cast off, let's get outta here!

I can't! I CAN'T! (A big explosion comes dangerously close.) I CAN'T!

Try harder! Go on!

My engine's cut out!

O.J.! His engine's out! I'm going in to help!

Don't be a fool, Ten Cents! Get out of there!

O.J.

He's right! Move!

He's got himself into this! Leave him!

O.J.

It's too dangerous, Ten Cents!

You're coming with me, Bluenose!

Keep going, Ten Cents! Keep going! The tramper's on fire! It'll blow any second!

(Ten Cents starts pulling Bluenose away.) Don't you move me! I've got my--hic! My orders, and my orders say I am loading fuel there!

You can load all you want after I get you out of here. Hey, O.J.! What should I do with him?

O.J.

Put him at the back, out the way, we don't want any more of his orders.

Oi! This is a mutiny! Take me back immediately! Obey orders! Obey orders! Orders is orders!

Oh no! Big Mickey's dock is going up!

O.J

Move out, everyone! He's going over!

Stay where you are! I'll jib clear!

Just hope Mickey gets it right, otherwise he'll sink us all!

BIG MICKEY!

Ahh, he's done it. He's falling sideways.

HELP!

Captain Star

[narrating (TV version only)] And lying in shallow water saved Big Mickey from both fire and explosion.

That was too close for comfort!

O.J

It took real skill to make that move.

He saved us all for sure… but the fire's getting out of control!

O.J

They'll have heard the siren for sure. The Fire Tug'll reach us any minute. Just wish he were here now….

Fire Tug won't be much good… LOOK AT THAT TRAMPER!

Captain Star

[narrating] There were times (believe it or not) when the Star Tugs and Z-Stacks took on a big job together. One of those times I remember was when timber and tanning bark had to be brought down from the saw mills up river. And this year, it was especially important that we worked together. But Zug was making heavy going of towing an old hulk on its last journey.

Hi, Zug!

Hey, Zug! Zorran's going mad waiting for you! Where you been?

Captain Zero told me to deliver this old rustbucket to the breaker's yard.

You'll see Zorran at Mittsville before you get there. He's not gonna' like it…

I'm only carrying out orders! Zorran can't blame me!

Ha! Don't you believe it!

Now listen to me and listen good. The Star Fleet are about to get the Ocean Liner Contract. [The Z-Stacks grumble in disappointment] And I'm NOT HAPPY!

We're not smiling, Captain Zero.

I'm glad you don't find it 'funny', Zorran. Now I want that contract, and YOU'RE going to get it for me!

But, How? I thought that...

I don't expect you to 'THINK', You're a Team, the Best, the Better Looking, more Powerful, and dare I say, More Devious...

I like that bit about Better Looking.

Yes, but what's Devious?

What's DEVIOUS is what's NECESSARY to make an Honest Living, in these days of CORRUPTION, and 'Bad Business Ethics'!

Oh.

Now, Fire up your boilers and get that Duchess Contract, there's NO TIME TO LOSE!

No problem, that bunch of Clapped out Sardine cans are gonna' find they've missed the boat, or My name's not Zorran...(laughing Deviously)

But it is Zorran! Isn't it?

Well, look what the tide's brought in! Izzy Gomez! Ha!

Hey, you guys, I need a tow.

We don't accept bananas as payment. (chuckles)

Hey, big shots, you towing the Duchess or something?

What would you know about it, you South American heap of junk?

What I know? I sit around, waiting for nobody to tow me. (Zorran starts, but is interrupted) The Duchess, she come in this morning, suddenly, everybody busy.

But Duchess isn't due till this afternoon--

SHUT UP, DINGHY BRAIN! C'MON! (Zak mumbles under his breath after he and Zorran leave Izzy.)

Captain Star

[TV version only] There had been a change, but the Stars didn't know this. Here was a chance for Captain Zero to put one over on us.

Que dia! What a day! I gotta get a tow and unload these bananas!

So it turns out you were seen!

Impossible! I made sure!

Don't argue with me, You were SEEN! Now the Duchess knows what you did and we don't get the contract! What kind of idiots do I have working for me?

Really devious-

Shut it, Zip!

Uh, sorry about that, sir.

Er, Yeah, Sorry, Captain Zero.

Sorry.

Sorry?! Sorry? I DON't WANT TO HEAR! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! ALL OF YOU!!!