Tosh quotes from Torchwood

Jack

Okay Janet [the Weevil], time for a trip out.

You call it Janet?

Jack

Barbara just never seemed right.

He would have been so proud that you took his name. 'Cause here you are, saving the world. To Captain Jack.

Jack

To Captain Jack.

Gwen

The visions we had. We all saw people we loved. What did you see?

Jack

Nothing. There was nothing.

Gwen

Jack? What would have tempted you? What visions would have convinced you to open the Rift?

Jack

The right kind of Doctor.

Gwen

Jack?

Jack

Where are they with those coffees?

Gwen

Jack! Jack!

Gwen

Did you see Jack on your way in?

No.

Owen

I thought we tidied up in here. What's the matter?

Gwen

He was just here. Something's taken him, and Jack's gone.

John

It was like having a wife.

Jack

You were the wife.

John

You were the wife...

Jack

No, you were the wife...

John

Oh, but I was a good wife!

I bet you were! [Gets a look off Owen] What, don't pretend you haven't noticed...he's cute.

John

You're just shy.

No I can't just hook something up! The entire telephone network is down!

Owen

What about a mobile connection?

[annoyed] The entire. Telephone. Network. Is down!

Ianto

Mobiles, landlines, tin cans with bits of string - everything, absolutely everything! No phones, phones all broken. [mimics telephone] Hello? Anyone there? [normal] No, 'cause the phones aren't working!

Jack

Have faith, with a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail?

Ianto

He is dashing, you have to give him that.

Owen

And what if they can't stop it?

They'll stop it.

Owen

Yeah, but if they can't?

Ianto

Then it's...all over.

Owen

[after a pause] Let's all have sex.

Ianto

[deadpan] And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse.

So, what do you want to do now?

Well... We could go back to mine, but there's only room for one and it's bloody freezing. [they both laugh]

Owen

[about Tommy] You've fallen for him, haven't you?

I can be myself with him. I don't have to pretend.

Owen

No, I understand. I, I didn't think you had some weird fetish for defrosted men. [both laugh] I just, um, don't want you to get hurt, that's all. If you have to say goodbye.

Ianto

I think Jack brought that in.

No, I'm pretty sure Adam found it on an excavation a few months back.

Ianto

I'll have a look in the diary. I like to log the interesting stuff.

You write about artifacts in your diary?

Ianto

Among other things. [winks]

Jack

Now I have to help you all go back. Find a memory that defines you, rediscover who you are. If I'm wrong, he will still be here when we've done this. [turns off computer screen] Let me take you back to before we all met. [turns off lights] Feel around for anything that makes you what you are. The hidden and the forgotten. Tell me where you are.

Gwen

College canteen. Rhys is sitting opposite me telling stupid jokes.

Owen

It's my birthday, ten. My mum spends the whole day screaming, ‘I love you because you're my son but that doesn't mean I have to like you.'

Maths club. There's something so reliable about maths. Always the right answer.

Ianto

Meeting Lisa. Falling in love. I never felt so alive.

Owen

Turned sixteen, she packs my bags. That is the nicest thing you've done for me in years mother.

Gwen

Kissing in the supermarket. The look on his face.

My first flat. I don't have a flat warming – there's no one I want to invite.

Ianto

Losing Lisa. Like the world had ended.

Gwen

The way he looks at me sometimes, as if he's scared of what he feels for me. I love him [turns to Jack] but not in the way I love you.

Jack

[to Gwen] Take this [Gwen takes the retcon pill]

Knowing there has to be more to life than this, knowing I'm special, waiting for someone to see it.

Jack

I saw it [gives her a pill]

Owen

You save one life, a hundred lives but it's never enough. Who will save me?

Jack

I will [gives him a pill]

Ianto

Coming here, it gave me meaning again. [Turns to Jack] You. [Jack kisses his forehead then gives him a pill]

Jack

[to everyone] You each have a short-term amnesia pill. It will make you forget Adam. We have to wipe out the last 48 hours from our memories. Go back to who we were.

[Switches the screen on to look at Adam in his cell] I'm going to lose so much.

Jack

None of it was real.

He loved me and I loved him. It's no different from real memories.

Jack

He forced it on you. You have to let it go

[Takes her pill, then looks at the screen] Goodbye Adam.

Ianto, what have you done with Billy Davis's body?

Ianto

Um, I was just about to dispose of it, why?

I thought of a way we can use him to get us into the Pharm. [Shows something on screen] Clever, huh?

Ianto

Oh, you are warped on the inside. How do you think of these things?

I'll take that as a compliment.

Jack

"Tosh, any luck with retrieving those medical records?

Not yet. I'm going to have to dig down into the system memory and see if I can find any remnants of deleted or temporary files. Completely illegal, of course. [smiles a bit ]

Owen

[talking to a child cancer patient] Jamie, you're scared, of course you are, the last lot of chemo didn't work and you can't bear the thought of going through all that pain again, I understand that mate, I really do. But let me tell you, that not everyone dies from this disease. And the ones with the best chance of making it are the ones who believe they can beat death. And sometimes, just sometimes, you can. So watch and learn, Jamie Burton.

Watch what?

Owen

Watch me beat Death.

[finally picking the lock on a door] Come on!

Owen

Okay, go, come on, Jamie, [to Tosh] take him!

Owen? I am not leaving you to face that thing on your own!

Owen

I know what to do.

We don't know what we're dealing with!

Owen

Tosh... [kisses Tosh] you're so going to hate me for this. [uses the lock-picking device to shut himself in the lobby]

Owen, no, open the door! What the hell are you doing? Owen!

Owen

[to Death] How long!? How long can you last here with only twelve victims? There's nothing here for you! Owen Harper's soul has left the building! There's nobody here but us dead men. [starts fighting Death to the protestations of his team] What else have you got? What else do you do to the dead? Is that all you've got? Is it?!? [Death eventually fades away in a white light]

Gwen

[talking about getting married] It'll happen for you one day, Tosh. There's always Owen.

I don't think so. "In sickness and in health, 'til death do us part". It's gonna sound like a bad joke.

I don't believe this Jack. What were you doing there?

Owen

He's part of this freak show.

Jack

Some things never change.

Owen

You being rude about me?