Gwen Cooper quotes from Torchwood

Gwen

What will you do while I'm gone?

Jack

Ooh, the usual. Pizza, Ianto, save the world a couple of times.

Jack

Ianto, with me. I need your local knowledge.

Gwen

Oh, is that what you're calling it these days?

Ianto

Wait! I just saw Jack.

Gwen

[surprised] Where?

Ianto

In the film!

Gwen

Do you think I've changed?

Rhys

Eh?

Gwen

Since I joined Torchwood, am I different?

Rhys

Why?

Gwen

It's just something Andy said. Okay, let me just tell you this one thing, okay?

Rhys

Okay, go on.

Gwen

He still fancies me. (Rhys snickers) Don't laugh, Rhys. That's why he didn't come to the wedding.

Rhys

Bloody hell, poor sod.

Gwen

Oi! I'm a very sexy lady and you are a very lucky man. Just remember that, okay? (unzips jacket)

Rhys

We're not going to talk about kids tonight, are we?

Gwen

We could so some practising

Rhys

You save this city. Well done. You save the world. Whatever. What for?

Gwen

Sorry?

Rhys

Why are you doing it? What are you trying to protect? What are you fighting for?

Gwen

Because if I don't...

Rhys

Shut up, I'm talking now, right? You do it so people can live their lives. And there's nothing more important than that. Falling in love, getting married, buying flats, having kids or not. But real life, that's what you're protecting. And if you're starting to think that your shit is more important than real life, then we're not going to last very long here, love.

Gwen

So, is that it, then? We just sweep it under the carpet?

Owen

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Gwen

Oh, bollocks to serenity!

Owen

For a lovely girl, you've got a very dirty mouth.

Gwen

Ianto, hi. I'm sorry. I didn't realize--

Ianto

Doesn't matter.

Gwen

I wouldn't have come in if I'd known--

Jack

Always room for one more. We could have used you an hour ago for naked hide-and-seek.

Ianto

He cheats. He always cheats

Andy

Listen, I was going to ask... promise me you won't laugh. Have you got any vacancies coming up? You know, with Torchwood? I was thinking, I'm great to work with... You know, you could tip 'em the wink?

Gwen

[hesitantly] Maybe, yeah.

Rhys! What are you doing here?! It's a crime scene!

Gwen

Oh come on, Andy, Rhys won't blab.

Rhys

Excuse me! I've kept loads of secrets!

Like what?

Rhys

Like a Time Agency based in Cardiff!

Gwen

It's not based in Cardiff.

Brilliant secret. I ask, you tell. Well done.

John

You took your time!

Gwen

On your knees!

John

[sigh] Honestly, it's just sex, sex, sex, with you people.

Gwen

Now!

[on video] Okay. So, if you're seeing this, I guess it means I'm, well, dead. Hope it was impressive! Not crossing the road or an 'incident' with a toaster. I just wanted to say, it's okay, it really is. Jack, you saved me. You showed me all the wonders of the universe and all those possibilities. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thank you. And Owen. You never knew. I love you. All of you. And.... I hope I did good.

Jack

Now we carry on.

Gwen

I don't think I can. Not after this.

Jack

You can. We all can. The end is where we start from.

Rhys

This changes everything.

Gwen

No. No, it doesn't. We're up the same creek and we still need a paddle.

Rhys

Yeah! But three of us in a boat.

Rhys

Took me a while to get used to those things [the filming contacts].

Ianto

[shoots Rhys a questioning glance] What? You've used the lenses?

Rhys

Yeah. That's why Gwen had 'em.

Gwen

I only took them home for a bit of fun.

Ianto

Fun?

Rhys

You know. Fun.

Ianto

[realising] Yeah, well; been there done that. It is fun.

Ianto

You're right, he's back.

Jack

[laughs] I said so.

Gwen

Who's back?

Jack

What's he doing?

Ianto

Waiting, just like you said. He's been there twenty minutes.

Jack

Persistent.

Ianto

Good sign.

Jack

Dogmatic.

Ianto

Always a plus.

Gwen

Oh, Christ, never work with a couple, you two talk like twins! Now tell me who he is!

Ianto

Rupesh Patanjali, he saw the Hitchhiker. He's the bodies-going-missing man.

Jack

Dr. Patanjali. We need a doctor.

Gwen

What, and you just let him follow you?

Ianto

Ask about Torchwood and most people point towards the Bay.

Gwen

Oh. [Jack and Ianto grin, she laughs] You bastards. That’s exactly what you did to me the first time we met. Well, sod that! I'm promoting myself to recruitment officer.

Gwen

Are you sure he's going to London?

Rhys

I don't question how you defend the world against extraterrestrial infiltration - don't you question my knowledge of the hauling industry, right?

Gwen

Sorry.