[on the stretched Panda's passenger entry system]
James: It's an ingenious solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place.

[on the Subaru again]
Jeremy: Let's be honest, it is uglier than a war wound; it's far too soft and wallowy; it sounds like it's running on Mogadon; and the only reason they can sell it for twenty-five thousand pounds is because it has fewer luxuries than, I don't know, an Egyptian's lavatory.

[on the Subaru Impreza WRX STi]
Jeremy: This car isn't an anorak. It's where people who make anoraks go to buy their anoraks.

[on the Subaru Legacy Outback]
James: I almost forgot to tell you what it's like to drive. Well, I quite like it, actually. It's relaxing and it's... unstressful.

[on the Toyota Hilux]
Jeremy: So it's very popular in Australia and all the other various bits of the third world.

[on the Toyota Prius engine display]
Jeremy: This, I think, is a particularly good way of distracting you from the child who's run into the road having not heard you coming.

[on the Toyota Prius]
Jeremy: See the trees smile at me as I waft by. And watch the children run into the road, because they haven't heard me coming.

[On the Toyota Urban Cruiser]
Jeremy: That is the stupidest name I've ever heard of. 'Cause forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't an urban cruiser someone who wears a mac and isn't allowed within 200 yards of a primary school?
Richard: They may not have thought that through.
Jeremy: They haven't. I mean, that's not going to work as a school run car if the police arrest it every time it goes near the gate.

[on the Triumph TR6]
James: What a squarehead! Look at it! Blunt at both ends, thickset - I reckon if this car went to the lavatory, it'd leave the seat up.
[...]
James: Good job they didn't give it to a Frenchman, eh? We'd all have handbags by now.

[on the TVR Tuscan 2 Convertible]
James: In the old days of TVR you would have thought "that's a ticket to a festival of plastic death", but actually I thought it was good. I thought it handled really well.

[on the V8 engine in the Vauxhall Monaro]
Jeremy: It's far from the most sophisticated engine in the known universe, but because it's so big, you can put it in sixth and pootle around at three, doing plenty of miles to the gallon. Or you can poke it with a stick. Then you will go from nought to sixty in six and a half seconds and reach a top speed of over 160. Usually sideways.

[on the Vauxhall Vectra 48-hour test drive program]
Jeremy: So if you just want to go and see Granny, or a girlfriend in Manchester, and it's a 60-quid rail fare, you can just ring them up, drop a car at your house, drive it up there and back -
James: Yeah, well, what if you want to do a bank job?
[...]
Jeremy: I wonder how many they've got?
Richard: Well, I don't know, because presumably this is the launch of their campaign, it's quite an important moment, somebody spent an awful lot of time planning this and working on it, and the worst thing we could do is give out the number. Which is 08456 775 775.

[on the Vauxhall VX220]
Jeremy: You'll notice all these things and you'll think, "That is a really pretty, pretty car. Well done, Vauxhall. I'll have the Lotus."
[trying to break the land speed record for towing a caravan]
James: Right. I've been looking in the Guinness Book of Records. It doesn't actually say that I have to use a car to tow the caravan. So instead I've decided to rely on the most powerful engine in the universe. Gravity.

[on the Veyron]
Jeremy: Even though there are these huge cooling ducts here and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has ten radiators. Three to cool the engine itself, three for the intercoolers, one to do the axle oil, one to do the engine oil and one to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise that rear spoiler. It's got more radiators than my house!

[on the Volkswagen New Beetle cabrio]
James: All they've got to do is make it in the shape of a proper car and it'll be terrific.