Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons
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[On the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that the drinks cabinet in his car contains fourteen different types of custard. And that while he has been known to leave his house in a bit of a hurry, he's never once hit a fire hydrant. All we know he's called the Stig!
Jeremy: Some say that the drinks cabinet in his car contains fourteen different types of custard. And that while he has been known to leave his house in a bit of a hurry, he's never once hit a fire hydrant. All we know he's called the Stig!
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on The Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that to unlock him, you have to run your finger down his face, like this (runs his finger down the face of an audience member standing nearby), and that if he was getting divorced from Paul McCartney, he'd keep his stupid whining mouth shut! All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that to unlock him, you have to run your finger down his face, like this (runs his finger down the face of an audience member standing nearby), and that if he was getting divorced from Paul McCartney, he'd keep his stupid whining mouth shut! All we know is, he's called The Stig.
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that when he slows down brake lights come on in his buttocks, and that if he'd been the manager of the England football squad last week, he wouldn't have been a feckless ginger gum-chewing buffoon who ruined it for all of us. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that when he slows down brake lights come on in his buttocks, and that if he'd been the manager of the England football squad last week, he wouldn't have been a feckless ginger gum-chewing buffoon who ruined it for all of us. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
[On the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say the Scottish released him a little bit too soon. (crowd laughs) And that he spent all week pushing an effigy of Rubens Barrichello through his desk fan. All we know is, he's called the Stig!
Jeremy: Some say the Scottish released him a little bit too soon. (crowd laughs) And that he spent all week pushing an effigy of Rubens Barrichello through his desk fan. All we know is, he's called the Stig!
[On the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say there are 17 different reasons why he's banned from the Northampton branch of Little Chef, and that his favorite airline pilot is Mark Webber. Two actually, all we know of course, he's the Stig!
Jeremy: Some say there are 17 different reasons why he's banned from the Northampton branch of Little Chef, and that his favorite airline pilot is Mark Webber. Two actually, all we know of course, he's the Stig!
[on The Stig]
Jeremy: Some say, he has twelve GCSEs, all in Domestic Science. And that he has been producing artificial sperm for years. Even though we have repeatedly asked him not to. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Jeremy: Some say, he has twelve GCSEs, all in Domestic Science. And that he has been producing artificial sperm for years. Even though we have repeatedly asked him not to. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
[On The Stig]
Jeremy: Some say, that he cut that man's hair [pointing at the man in audience].
Jeremy: Some say, that he cut that man's hair [pointing at the man in audience].
[On The Stig]
Jeremy: Some say, that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous. And that recently pigs in Mexico started to die of something called "Stig flu". All we know is, he's highly contagious!
Jeremy: Some say, that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous. And that recently pigs in Mexico started to die of something called "Stig flu". All we know is, he's highly contagious!
[on the Stig]
Richard: Now for this race, I shall pilot the little remote control car, because to get the best out of the G-Wiz for this test, it needs to be controlled by our finest driver: someone who has never sat on Santa's knee; someone who's never watched Moonraker on Boxing Day. [Which was indeed shown three days later on Boxing day by the BBC's main rivals ITV]
Richard: Now for this race, I shall pilot the little remote control car, because to get the best out of the G-Wiz for this test, it needs to be controlled by our finest driver: someone who has never sat on Santa's knee; someone who's never watched Moonraker on Boxing Day. [Which was indeed shown three days later on Boxing day by the BBC's main rivals ITV]
[on the Stig]
Richard: Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Richard: Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Richard: Some say he isn't machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Richard: Some say he isn't machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Richard: Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Richard: Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Richard: Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that where ever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Richard: Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that where ever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Richard: Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the camera men. All we know is, he's called the Stig.
Richard: Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the camera men. All we know is, he's called the Stig.