Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
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Season 6
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Season 8
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Season 11
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Season 13
Season 14
Season 15
Season 16
Season 17
Season 18
[when his ignition key wouldn't turn]
Jeremy: Which slovenly Midlander built this?
Jeremy: Which slovenly Midlander built this?
[When James May was in the car for the first time]
Jeremy: The Christian motorist is in the hot seat.
Jeremy: [voiceover] A few minutes later, something amazing happened.
James: I've overtaken someone!
Jeremy: The Christian motorist is in the hot seat.
Jeremy: [voiceover] A few minutes later, something amazing happened.
James: I've overtaken someone!
[When Jeremy attempts to talk with The Stig after the car broke down]
Jeremy: Did it fill with smoke? Did it lose power?
Jeremy: Did it fill with smoke? Did it lose power?
[when the Hilux starts after having been washed out to sea in the Severn estuary]
Jeremy: [shouting over the engine roar] I do not believe this! It works!
Jeremy: [shouting over the engine roar] I do not believe this! It works!
[when their 'Sneak across Syria' plan has failed with them driving to their hotel disguised in Burkas where they see a "Welcome Top Gear" banner at the entrance]
James: I've appeared on TV in drag for nothing!
James: I've appeared on TV in drag for nothing!
[while brass rubbing in the Lincoln Cathedral]
Jeremy: I would never normally be brass rubbing -- and do you know why I've never done it? 'Cause all the cars I've ever owned have been powered by petrol or diesel. Look [points to his rubbing], it's Hammond, only in a diving bell.
James: It does look a bit like Hammond, actually.
Series 18
Jeremy: I would never normally be brass rubbing -- and do you know why I've never done it? 'Cause all the cars I've ever owned have been powered by petrol or diesel. Look [points to his rubbing], it's Hammond, only in a diving bell.
James: It does look a bit like Hammond, actually.
Series 18
[while checking on the Peugeot iOn]
Jeremy: That's not a very big boot. You wouldn't get a dog in there. [brief pause after realizing what he just said] Discussing luggage space is like I'm back on old Top Gear.
James: Can I get a beard?
Jeremy: That's not a very big boot. You wouldn't get a dog in there. [brief pause after realizing what he just said] Discussing luggage space is like I'm back on old Top Gear.
James: Can I get a beard?
[while driving a Bowler Wildcat off-road vehicle]
Richard: I am a driving god!
Richard: I am a driving god!
[While driving the Tesla next to the Lotus Elise, after overtaking it after the Hammerhead]
Jeremy: The volthead has overtaken the petrolhead. And yes, [puts finger next to ear, mimicking a telephone] yes, I've just heard, it is snowing in hell.
Jeremy: The volthead has overtaken the petrolhead. And yes, [puts finger next to ear, mimicking a telephone] yes, I've just heard, it is snowing in hell.
[While driving through the rainforest, Richard is still wondering who stole his trouser leg]
Richard: [into walkie-talkie] Come on, who's got my trouser leg?
[In Jeremy's truck, Jeremy is wearing Richard's trouser leg as a headcloth]
Jeremy: [into walkie-talkie, with mock innocence] Has your trouser leg gone missing?
Richard: [into walkie-talkie] Come on, who's got my trouser leg?
[In Jeremy's truck, Jeremy is wearing Richard's trouser leg as a headcloth]
Jeremy: [into walkie-talkie, with mock innocence] Has your trouser leg gone missing?
[while driving with Jackie Stewart]
James: This is probably what will happen to me in hell: A TVR, a racetrack and a pedantic Scotsman.
James: This is probably what will happen to me in hell: A TVR, a racetrack and a pedantic Scotsman.
[While eating burnt sausages between bread cooked by Jeremy, James and Richard]
Shane Jacobson: Hmm! My grandfather was burnt less than that when they cremated him.
James: Did you know that barbecue is an ancient Aboriginal word for diarrhoea?
Ewen Page: Well it will be after we eat this I tell you that!
Shane Jacobson: Hmm! My grandfather was burnt less than that when they cremated him.
James: Did you know that barbecue is an ancient Aboriginal word for diarrhoea?
Ewen Page: Well it will be after we eat this I tell you that!
[while fastest Star in a Reasonably Priced Car Brian Johnson gives his acceptance speech in the monitor]
Brian Johnson: Thanks very much for this wonderful honour and for this fabulous trophy. [chuckles] You must have spent a fortune on this! [points to the trophy name plate] My name's Brian, not "Brain". And that's an ice hockey player on top of there, look, but never mind. This'll do me for now. So have a great time at Christmas and I'll see you soon, guys. Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye.
Jeremy: Brain Johnson!
Richard: Well, I'm sorry.
Jeremy: That's the worst thing we've ever done.
Richard: It was cheap. It was cheap.
Brian Johnson: Thanks very much for this wonderful honour and for this fabulous trophy. [chuckles] You must have spent a fortune on this! [points to the trophy name plate] My name's Brian, not "Brain". And that's an ice hockey player on top of there, look, but never mind. This'll do me for now. So have a great time at Christmas and I'll see you soon, guys. Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye.
Jeremy: Brain Johnson!
Richard: Well, I'm sorry.
Jeremy: That's the worst thing we've ever done.
Richard: It was cheap. It was cheap.
[While his co-presenters modify their cars for the Okavango Delta, Richard sits inside Oliver, bored.]
Richard: I suppose I'd better practice my lion drill. "Oh, no. There's a lion coming. Ahh! [closes his door] What shall I do?" That! [points to the door, knocking on it] Oliver will protect me. [nods]
Richard: I suppose I'd better practice my lion drill. "Oh, no. There's a lion coming. Ahh! [closes his door] What shall I do?" That! [points to the door, knocking on it] Oliver will protect me. [nods]
[while interviewing Johnny Vegas]
Johnny: I wanted a people carrier, but you've slated it so much on the show.
Jeremy: Well people carriers are for people who've given up.
Johnny: Look at me!
Johnny: I wanted a people carrier, but you've slated it so much on the show.
Jeremy: Well people carriers are for people who've given up.
Johnny: Look at me!