[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyTonight: I attempt to destroy the indestructible; How fast can you go in a soft top before you lose your wig?; And we momentarily silence Simon Cowell.
Played by Jeremy Clarkson
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
Most-quoted character in Top Gear: in 1,331 of its 1,774 quotes
Most scenes with: Richard Hammond (406), James May (323), Stephen Ladyman (5)
Lines by Jeremy Clarkson 735
Jeremy[on the Mazda RX-8]
JeremyIt's almost like they had a styling suggestion box at the factory, they got millions of ideas and then said "I know! Let's have all of them!" So it's got triangles and curves and gills and the back window from a Ford Anglia and look at these lights. They're busier than a bishop's hat!
[[on the RX-8's Wankel rotary engine]
JeremyIt's not the torquiest engine in the world, or the most economical, but God it's smooth. You even get a little buzzer - ready? - to tell you to change gear at 9000 RPM 'cause it doesn't feel like it's running on anything as coarse and vulgar as petrol. Feels like it's running on double cream!
JeremyThe guy who was running Mazda when they were designing the RX-8 used to race cars. [laughs] And it kind of shows.
[on the Toyota Hilux]
JeremySo it's very popular in Australia and all the other various bits of the third world.
[On the Hilux]
JeremyWe love cars like this on Top Gear. That's why we love the Citroën Berlingo and the Daihatsu Charade; they're simple, honest-to-God engineering.
[After driving the pick-up down the steps]
Jeremy[Voiceover] It damaged my spine quite badly, doing this. And then it set about damaging Bristol.
[tapping on a mangled fender after running the Hilux into a tree]
JeremyThat'll buff out.
[when the Hilux starts after having been washed out to sea in the Severn estuary]
Jeremy[shouting over the engine roar] I do not believe this! It works!
[At the grassy part of the test track]
JeremyThe problem is, what can we do here that we haven't already tried? [The pick-up then drops behind Jeremy] Difficult one.
[Before the caravan drop on the Hilux]
JeremyThe Americans have used daisy cutters on these things, to no avail. But I have something much more powerful... [cuts to a parked caravan; voiceover] The Mistral GT... [shows the same caravan dropped on the Hilux]
[After the caravan drop]
Jeremy[crawling in through the window] Lordy lord, I'm too old for this.
[...]
JeremyI honestly can't believe this; the steering is fine, the gearbox is fine, the low-range box is fine, the brakes are fine... Even the speedo's telling me we're doing thirty.
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyTonight: Richard drives a pair of wheeled accessories; I discover if the Australians are better at cars than they are at rugby; and James tries to finish the job of killing our Toyota.
JeremyOf course, ever since the 2CV, Citroën has been the badge of choice for those of a Guardian disposition.
[on the Citroën C2
Jeremy[voiceover] Look at the details. The gear lever that seems to have come from a sex shop. The translucent trim. The 12 million gigawatt stereo. And the bumf, which is full of words like "wicked" and "cool".
Jeremy[standing in front of the car] Now this, it seems, is the language of something called cruising, which... isn't what I thought it was.
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