[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: I attempt to destroy the indestructible; How fast can you go in a soft top before you lose your wig?; And we momentarily silence Simon Cowell.
“November 23rd, 2003” · Season 3, Episode 5
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (15), James May (6), Richard Hammond (5), Simon (2)
[on the Mazda RX-8]
It's almost like they had a styling suggestion box at the factory, they got millions of ideas and then said "I know! Let's have all of them!" So it's got triangles and curves and gills and the back window from a Ford Anglia and look at these lights. They're busier than a bishop's hat!
[[on the RX-8's Wankel rotary engine]
It's not the torquiest engine in the world, or the most economical, but God it's smooth. You even get a little buzzer - ready? - to tell you to change gear at 9000 RPM 'cause it doesn't feel like it's running on anything as coarse and vulgar as petrol. Feels like it's running on double cream!
The guy who was running Mazda when they were designing the RX-8 used to race cars. [laughs] And it kind of shows.
This being a car programme, let's talk about houses.
[speculating on the future-classic value of the Mercedes-Benz 190E 2.5-16 Cosworth]
Tempted? Well, if you are, you're best off going for one in black or silver with an automatic gearbox. Which is why I'm driving a pink one with a manual box. Obviously.
[Jeremy is butting in as Richard and James populate the Classic Wall]
Jeremy, can I ask - what's that?
This is an Alfa Romeo GTV6, a magnificent car!
It is. And I believe you had one!
I did indeed.
And how much did you pay for it, Jeremy?
Ah, £5000.
Mm, and then you sold it. And how much did you sell it for?
Ah, £3000.
OK, that didn't go too well. How much was it worth a year later?
£7,000.
So how much do you know about all of this? Absolutely nothing.
[On his fast lap] I wasn't even trying.
[arguing that the Mazda RX-8 should be considered cool]
But you get to say "Wankel". That's cool! - On telly!
Right, the Italians. What have they ever done for us?
St. Albans. The Romans came here in 43 and built some nice ruins.
[on the Fiat Panda]
Well, it is very small, just three and a half metres long, but more importantly, it's got really quite a lot of space in it. You could get a couple of full-size adults in the back here, or - more importantly - about half a dozen children. Now this is vital in your small Italian car, and all because of another of their great inventions: the Catholic Church.
Now, you'll be able to buy a basic 1.1-litre Panda for £6000. £6000! This, however, is the 1.2-litre Dynamic. This is a posh Panda. But it's still only six thousand, five hundred pounds. Six and a half grand. And it's a whole car!
I quite like this 1.2-litre engine, it's sort of feisty and eager. Makes a great deal of fuss without really achieving very much. Bit like the Italian government, really.
[on the Toyota Hilux]
So it's very popular in Australia and all the other various bits of the third world.
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