A character in Top Gear
Played by Jeremy Clarkson
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
Most-quoted character in Top Gear: in 1,331 of its 1,774 quotes
Most scenes with: Richard Hammond (406), James May (323), Stephen Ladyman (5)
Jeremy[voice-over during the drifting challenge] The Monaro did beat the Jag but now it's the turn of the Chrysler.....and oh dear!
Jeremy[in the car]The Americans lectured the world on democracy and then WON'T LET ME TURN THE TRACTION CONTROL OFF! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A BIG BAD DANGEROUS MUSCLE CAR! [American accent] But sir, you may hurt yourself! [normal voice again] A car designed by health and safety this one.
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyTonight: the Ferrari Enzo, the Jaguar XJ220, the Pagani Zonda, the McLaren F1, the Ferrari F40 and the Porsche Carrera GT!
[comparing the Porsche Carrera GT to the McLaren F1]
JeremyThis car, then, ticks all the health-and-safety boxes. It's like an Airbus, very safe and very civilized, where as the old McLaren... that's like Concorde. Unfortunately, like Concorde, it was flawed. Even its biggest fans, and I'm not one of them, say that the gearbox is clunky, the steering's too heavy, the front's too vague, and the back end... is skittish.
[on the McLaren F1]
JeremyYou know that bit in Dr. Strangelove, when Peter Sellers is astride the nuclear missile? That's what it's like... You don't know where you're going, you're in no real control, you just know the journey's going to end very soon, and very badly!
[While testing a Ferrari Enzo borrowed from Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason.]
JeremyUmmagumma!
JeremyThis is the division bell between the ordinary and the absolutely astonishing.
JeremyThat is the delicate sound of thunder" [referring to the noise made by the V12 engine]
JeremyYou set the controls for the heart of the sun, and just like that... you're on the dark side of the Moon.
JeremyAtom heart mother!
JeremyIt's a saucerful of secrets!
JeremyOhh.. wish you were here, just to feel this power!
JeremyNow then, we can give this car back to Mr. Mason, because we're done with it. But look at how he's going home.
[Mason steps into a helicopter to the opening strains of Money and flies away]
Jeremy[As he waves goodbye] Why's he doing that?
JeremyThese cars, then, are like one of Mr. Blair's speeches, or a pensions commercial, which amounts to the same thing.
JeremyAll that comes out of the exhaust pipes on this Porsche, are baby foxes.
JeremySupercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the oil.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
