[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: the Ferrari Enzo, the Jaguar XJ220, the Pagani Zonda, the McLaren F1, the Ferrari F40 and the Porsche Carrera GT!
“October 31st, 2004” · Season 5, Episode 2
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (15), James May (2), Richard Hammond (1)
[comparing the Porsche Carrera GT to the McLaren F1]
This car, then, ticks all the health-and-safety boxes. It's like an Airbus, very safe and very civilized, where as the old McLaren... that's like Concorde. Unfortunately, like Concorde, it was flawed. Even its biggest fans, and I'm not one of them, say that the gearbox is clunky, the steering's too heavy, the front's too vague, and the back end... is skittish.
[on the McLaren F1]
You know that bit in Dr. Strangelove, when Peter Sellers is astride the nuclear missile? That's what it's like... You don't know where you're going, you're in no real control, you just know the journey's going to end very soon, and very badly!
[While testing a Ferrari Enzo borrowed from Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason.]
Ummagumma!
This is the division bell between the ordinary and the absolutely astonishing.
That is the delicate sound of thunder" [referring to the noise made by the V12 engine]
You set the controls for the heart of the sun, and just like that... you're on the dark side of the Moon.
Atom heart mother!
It's a saucerful of secrets!
Ohh.. wish you were here, just to feel this power!
Now then, we can give this car back to Mr. Mason, because we're done with it. But look at how he's going home.
[Mason steps into a helicopter to the opening strains of Money and flies away]
[As he waves goodbye] Why's he doing that?
These cars, then, are like one of Mr. Blair's speeches, or a pensions commercial, which amounts to the same thing.
All that comes out of the exhaust pipes on this Porsche, are baby foxes.
Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the oil.
Bill Bryson. Well, I think that man is a danger, frankly. If there is one thing I can't stand it's beardy, sanctimonious, patronising Americans in tartan trousers coming to England and trying to persuade us to turn into a museum. He wants the East End for the cheeky Cockney chaps pushing wheelbarrows full of eels and he wants northernists to be industrialists with big braces and blokes dying of consumption - Good morning Bill, I've got the consumption, it's tradition alright. I say Bill, if you're watching - OK, now you won't be watching because we're not talking about steam engines or longboats or bear-baiting - but IF you've happened to tune in by mistake: We're not interested in your views of stupid Americans who come over here with their big video cameras saying Gee, I love your history, it's just so old. SOD OFF!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.