Rick, Zip it up, or I'll tell everybody in this room that you've got an iron-on cartoon worm on the front of your Y-fronts that says "Girl Bait".
Oh! So you've been going through my Y-fronts, have you, Vyvyan? I suppose you fancy me, is that it?
(looks genuinely panicked ) Yes! As a matter of fact, I do, Rick! I really, really fancy you, and I wanna give you a big girly kiss on the bottom!
Rick [creeped out] : Urgh! You hear that, Mike? Vyvyan's gone all funny! He says he wants to kiss my bottom!
Oh! Did I say "kiss you on the bottom?" Oh, beg my pardon, I meant to say "stick a pickaxe through your spinal column"!
I can't believe it. My parents... are dead.
Well yes I do actually! What's it to you piss-face?!
Oh no! I never knew I wore a wig. Eurgh!
G God
Hello, I'm God. Well, you didn't expect me to be a woman , now, did you?
[As the boys are about to rob a bank with pistols]
Now whatever you do, don't go losing your heads and using them!
Yeah, why not? Those bank clerks didn't have to become bank clerks! They knew the risks when they took the job. Now let's just get in there and let 'em have it!
Rick, we can't do that, because if we do, there's a very good chance they'll discover that these are water pistols.
JB Jersei Baloski
[Having smashed the window] Oh, look! Some sod broke your window. That's £18 you owe me.
[After a bank job. Everyone jumps into Vyvyan's car. But he drives it directly into a lamp-post.]
[hysterical] Oh, what have I done?! [sobs]
C'mon, Vyv, there's no time for that now.
My car! My beautiful, beautiful car!
Oh, no, it's the pigs! This is it, guys! I'll see you later! [exits the car]
[to Rick] Yellow chicken!
[to Vyvyan, who's still crying] You've got to forget about your car, Vyvyan! Start life again without it. After all, you've still got S.P.G.
I don't think so, Michael. He was asleep on the radiator!
[S.P.G. is crushed on the grill of the car. Bagpipe music plays as he floats above the car wearing angel wings and a halo.]
See you later, you little whimp.
[After the bus they were riding in has crashed to the bottom of a ravine]
G The Guys
Phew! That was close!
[The bus explodes]
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Young Ones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
