A character in The Young Ones
Played by Rik Mayall
The Young Ones · 138 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The Young Ones: in 85 of its 138 quotes
Most scenes with: Vyvyan (62), Neil (40), Mike (40)
RickI suppose you think it's pretty weird, don't you Mike? Well, you'd be right. 'Cause THAT'S the kind of guy I am, right? WEIRD. Which is why I go over people's heads. A bit like an aeroplane! You think I'm an aeroplane, don't you, Mike? Well, I'm not.
Rick[To Vyvyan] Shut up! I'm trying to stir my coffee!
RickPollution, all around. Sometimes up, sometimes down. But always around. Pollution are you coming to my town? Or am I coming to yours? Ha! We're on different buses, pollution, but we're both using petrol... bombs.
RickThat's just typical. Five minutes before the most important party of my life and the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich.
RickGod, I'm bored. Might as well be listening to Genesis.
RickI've told you a million times, do not exaggerate!
RickNeil, the bathroom's free! Unlike the country under the Thatcherite Junta.
RickNeil, are these lentils South African?!
Well, ummm...
RickYou bastard! You complete and utter bastard! Why don't you just go out and become a policeman?! Become a pig?! There's no difference, you know! [burns hand on lentils] There's no difference, you know! You think there is, but there isn't! I suppose you hate gay people too! Hippie!
RickNeil... what are you doing, Neil? To make a meal, Neil? Huh. Surreal! From totalitarian vegetables, how much does it cost, Neil?
... well actually, it's about £4.50 each.
£4.50?!
RickI'm not paying you money to eat black men! I could become a pig and do that for free!
RickNone of you ever give the slightest consideration to a word I say!
That's because you're very boring!
RickOH! Oh, and I suppose you think ideas like peace and freedom and equality are boring too.
Yes, they are.
RickHa! Fallen into my trap. In that case, why isn't Cliff Richard boring, clever trousers? Tell me that!
[Vyvyan stands up and hits Rick's head on the table.]
RickI think Special Patrol Group is a stupid name for a hamster!
OK, I'll change it, then! Hello, Cliff Richard!
RickBastard!
I could murder a curry! [farts and flies across the basement]
Poor Special Patrol Group.
RickWhat's poor about him?
It'll take ten weeks to starve another one.
I'll handle this.
RickI'll handle this!
I'll handle this!
I can't handle this.
What are you doing with my crucifix, Rick?
RickProtesting!
I don't wanna bring you down or anything, but I think that is a really negative way to try and kill yourself, I mean I tried it hundreds of times, there's no way you can hammer in the last nail.
RickBloody heck! Is this the new house?
I think it's beautiful, Rick!
RickWell I think it looks like a gigantic lavatory!
It hasn't been razed to the ground.
RickWell, at least we have a front door.
We had a front door at the last house!
RickYes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room!
Rick, it had to be done.
Yeah! I had to! I was drunk!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Young Ones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
