Glowface quotes from The X's

Glowface

(after the X's are tied up and placed on the Crusher's conveyor belt) See, this is what I love about mines. I mean, where else could you find a conveyor belt that leads to a giant crushing machine?

Oh, it's quite a savings on our death trap budget, sir.

You know, I just found this great recipe for zucchini bread.

Glowface

I'm allergic to zucchini.

Uh, listen, Uncle G-Face? Can I take off? I have a lot of...homework, and stuff.

Glowface

No way, Manuel! You just don't wanna have to fight your girlfriend! (mockingly) Stop beating me up, Tuesday! Oh, ow! Ow! You so strong!

What are you, twelve?

Glowface

(when he sees the X's are ahead of S.N.A.F.U.) Is it like golf? Low score wins?

High score, sir.

Glowface

Fart monkeys!

Glowface

Surrender, you fools! You cannot defeat me!

Tuesday X

What are you talking about? We always defeat you!

Glowface

...Did you have to bring that up? I mean, I got feelings too, you know! I mean, how would you like it if I pointed out all of your shortcomings? Like those tacky stockings?!

Tuesday

(as she and Truman are being lowered toward a lava pit) I can't believe you asked Glowface to pull your finger.

Truman

It was a finger grenade! I thought he'd fall for it!

Glowface

You must think I'm an idiot!

Truman

Yes!

Glowface

Well, (grunts) dum-dum fart!

(while on the phone with Tuesday) What is that noise? You're not fighting evil, are you?

Tuesday

No, no, it's just a huge party. (turns to Glowface and Lorenzo) Right, everyone?

Um... get down, peoples!

Glowface

Woohoo! Par-tay!

Who said that?

Tuesday

That was Glow... Glo... Gloria! My friend, at the party I'm having!

Oh, so you're okay, then?

Tuesday

Sure, sure. Just having a party, breaking stuff, making a mess.

Glowface

Woo! Spring break!

Boogie!

Oh, I'm sorry we couldn't make it. Your father and I would've done the Funky Chicken.

Tuesday

Bye! (hangs up her cellphone, and she and Truman sigh with relief) That was a close one. (to Glowface and Lorenzo) Okay, go ahead.

Glowface

(raising his hands) Raise the roof! Raise the roof!

Tuesday

Hello? Diabolical? (the two villains stop dancing)

Glowface

Oh, right. (laughs evilly as Lorenzo resumes turning the crank to lower the kids toward the lava)

Glowface

You okay after that wedgie?

I'd rather not talk about it, sir.

Glowface

(practicing his speech) Foolish X's! My new doomsday device will obidlerate you all!... I said, "obidlerate", didn't I?

I'm afraid so, sir.

Glowface

Obliterate. Obliterate. Man, that's a hard word.

Perhaps you could say "destroy" instead?

Glowface

Are you kidding? That throws off the whole rhythm! (scoffs) Amateur. Ooh, what's taking the X's so long?! Okay. One more time. Foolish X's! My new doomsday device will olibderate-- (screams in frustration)

(sympathetically) I feel for you, sir.

Glowface

(seeing the nouveau riche X's on TV) A billion dollars?! After all the trouble I go to to conquer and enslave the Earth, they get the fame? That is so unfair!

Sir, they're not famous. They're rich.

Glowface

Fathead! Of course they're famous! They're on TV! Wow, the camera really does add 20 pounds.

SIR!! (Glowface stops screaming) Perhaps we could focus on world domination for a moment?

Glowface

Aren't the Egg-Salads the dreamiest? (sighs) Wouldn't it be groovy to meet them?

You have met them, hundreds of times. You have been beaten senseless by them hundreds of times. You have sworn to destroy them hundreds of times!

Glowface

Ah, Lorenzo. Any news on the X's?

Well, the word on the street is that Truman X ran away from home.

Glowface

(eagerly) Ooh, do tell!

And he's built himself a miniature house so he can feel taller! (chuckles) Short people are so very amusing. (sees that Glowface is glaring at him and realizes his mistake) Oh, not all short people... I mean, not short! You're not short!

Glowface

Shove a cork in it!

Glowface

(to Lorenzo Suave) I'll make a giant inflatable suit! ...You're just pretending to be interested, aren't you?

No no no, nothing fascinates me more than a big bag of hot air.

Glowface

Yeah, it is pretty darn- wait, was that sarcasm?!

(sarcastically) No.

Glowface

...Good!

Truman

What're you gonna do--slowly lower us into an acid vat filled with robot sharks?

Glowface

Uh... no? (looks behind himself at said death trap) Dang, that kid's good.

Indeed, sir.

Glowface

(eagerly observing the wreckage Truman caused) Look what Truman X did to my headquarters!

(sadly) Yes. I'm sorry, too.

Glowface

It's... awesome!