Lorenzo Suave quotes from The X's

(in disguise) Of course, the X's. We've been X-pecting you. (laughs evilly) Right this way, please.

(after getting a gutter ball) I've always loathed physical activity.

(to Tuesday X) I've spent my entire life training for this moment! Except Wednesday nights, I have a pottery class.

(on the X's being too busy arguing to listen to Glowface) Sir, I believe they're having family issues.

(with a wry smile) I believe I'd manage, sir.

(holding a tray of cheese cubes) But, sir, you asked for hors d'oeuvres! (gets kicked down by Mrs. X)

(pretending to enjoy Halloween) Yeehaw. Oh, what a superb time I am having. Ha ha ha. Rock on, dude.

Great. Look at this. My leg's broken. (tries to move her leg and it cracks) Ahh! Yep, broken. Curse you coffee table, curse you!

Relax, sweetie pie.

Truman

We'll handle Glowface!

Glowface

Not while I have my escape pod! So long, suckers! (laughs as he enters the escape pod, but fails to close the hatch because his helmet's in the way) I knew I should've measured that.

(off-screen) Sir!

Glowface

(sees that Lorenzo hailed a taxi) So long, suckers! (laughs as he gets in the taxi and it leaves without Lorenzo)

(chasing after the taxi) Wait!

Glowface

This new secret headquarters is the best one yet! Just look! It's got a pit of doom! A shark tank! An atomic disintegrator! Spinning blades of evil! (laughs maniacally)

Those are ceiling fans, sir.

Glowface

(stops laughing) Well, I'm sure we'll think of some way to do evil with them.

Glowface

(speaking into a microphone) All henchmen report for free bagels! Repeat: free bagels!

Free bagels, sir?

Glowface

Hey, if I say "report for dangerous battle", nobody shows up!

Glowface

Yes, that's it, smile. Smile and say, (backs away from the camera, with the drape covering his helmet): "Surprise"! (The X's stare at him)

The, um... the drape... thingy...

Glowface

What? Oh. (reveals himself) Surprise!

Glowface!

Truman

(annoyed) Yeah!

Glowface

That’s right, is I, Glowface, leader of S.N.A.F.U.!

(removing his disguise) And I, Lorenzo Suave, his right-hand man!

Glowface

Nobody cares!

(walking away, miffed) Well, I...

Glowface

(after Brandon cuts the TV studio's power and the X's put on their night vision goggles) Ooh, night vision goggles! We should have those!

I'll pick some up-- (gets punched in the stomach by Mr. X, which sends him flying)

Glowface

(trying to find his way in the dark) Lorenzo! Lorenzo... (sees Mrs. X) no.

Glowface

(after the X's are tied up and placed on the Crusher's conveyor belt) See, this is what I love about mines. I mean, where else could you find a conveyor belt that leads to a giant crushing machine?

Oh, it's quite a savings on our death trap budget, sir.

You know, I just found this great recipe for zucchini bread.

Glowface

I'm allergic to zucchini.

Glowface

(when he sees the X's are ahead of S.N.A.F.U.) Is it like golf? Low score wins?

High score, sir.

Glowface

Fart monkeys!