(voiceover) Once upon a time, there was a guy with the improbable name of Fox Mulder. He started out life happily enough, as these things go. He had parents who loved him, a cute kid sister. He had a roof over his head, got all his flu shots, had all his fingers and toes and aside from being stuck with the name "Fox" which probably taught him how to fight - or not - he pretty much led a normal life. But the worst thing by far - the biggest kick in the slacks this kid Fox ever got - was what happened to his sister. One day, she just disappeared. Now, Fox buckled down and worked his butt off. Graduated top of his class at Oxford then top of his class at the FBI academy. None of that hard work made up for his sister, though. It was just a way of putting her out of his mind. Finally, the way I figure it, he went out of his mind and he's been that way ever since. Fox Mulder pissed away a brilliant career, lost the respect of supervisors and friends and now lives his life shaking his fist at the sky and muttering about conspiracies to anyone who will listen. If you ask me, he's one step away from pushing a baby carriage filled with tin cans down the street. But now, all that's going to change.
“Dreamland II” · Season 6, Episode 5
In this episode: Fox Mulder (3), Morris (3), Dana Scully (2)
[Morris (as Mulder) enters with groceries; looks around the apartment.]
Uh-huh. (sets the bags down and gets out some candles) A little mood lighting for the bedroom. (looks around; pauses) No bedroom.
[Goes over to a closed door; tries to open it several times with no result; finally gets it open. Several boxes and porno magazines fall out; the room is shown to be filled with boxes, old furniture and papers.]
This guy hasn't been laid in ten years.
Joanne, listen to me. There's something I got to tell you.
I've heard enough from you for one lifetime, Morris. Go tell it to that tramp of yours, that Scully, whatshername.
Dana Scully. Special Agent Dana Scully.
Special Tramp Dana Scully.
She's my partner, Joanne.
I'm supposed to be your partner.
My name is not Morris Fletcher. It's Fox Mulder. Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI. Dana Scully is my FBI partner. I am not your husband we are not married, we are complete strangers and I have a whole other life that I'm desperately trying to get back to.
You know, Morris, most men, when they have a mid-life crisis - they go out and buy themselves a sports car. They don't run around calling themselves Fox.
[Scully and Morris (as Mulder) pull up in their car next to Mulder (as Morris). Scully gets out to stand next to Mulder; Morris stays in the car.]
You don't look too happy. Don't tell me I'm going to have to put two kids through school.
(hesitantly) That is you in there, Mulder, isn't it? (Mulder nods; Scully folds her arms, hugging herself) I, uh... I just got off the phone with Frohike. They were able to download and analyze the crash data and, yes, there was an anomalous event that night.
And how do I get back?
(not easy for her to say) Well, that's just it. It's all about random moments in time... About a series of variables approaching an event horizon. And even if we... could recreate that moment if we could sabotage another craft... Mulder, if we were... If we were off... If the event were off by even one millisecond...
I might wind up with my head in a rock.
Something like that, yeah. (long pause)
(depressed) What about him? I mean, me. Whatever. Whoever he is.
Agent Mulder has become AD Kersh's new golden boy. He's been tasked with returning the flight data recorder that he and I stole. The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh even more than I do to my priest. I'm just tagging along for the ride.
What do you mean, "just tagging along?"
I'm out of the Bureau. I've been censured and relieved of my position.
No. You can explain it to them like you explained it to me. You have the data. You can make them understand. You can get your job back.
(can't help but smile; looks up at him fondly) I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly. (Mulder smiles back)
(honking the horn; yelling out the window) Take a picture - it'll last longer!
[Mulder and Scully pause and look at the car.]
(through clenched teeth) If I... shoot him, is that murder or suicide?
Neither, if I do it first. (Squeezes his arm, then walks toward the car. He stops her.)
Hey, Scully...
[He holds out his closed hand to her; she holds out her palm. He drops a handful of sunflower seeds into her hand; takes one back and eats it. They look at each other. Mulder watches, depressed, as Scully drives away.]
(on phone) Mulder.
(on phone; in her office) Mulder, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that we slipped under Kersh's radar. Our little field trip to Nevada went unnoticed.
Oh, yeah?
Mulder, I'm sorry that your confidential source didn't pan out.
Well, I guess you were right, Scully. Just another crackpot who watches too much Star Trek.
Good night.
Hey, Scully? I, uh, know it's not your normal life, but... Thanks for coming out there with me.
(surprised, pleased) You're welcome.
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