You're young, Charlie. Don't you want to be having fun right now?
Yes, sir. But I work for you.
I get that a lot.
S4Process Stories
We're all impressed with how influential you were, particularly when you consider that most of us have never met you! But what I'm most grateful for is the process story, which takes attention from the debate, and focuses it where it belongs, which is the contest. This is the story everyone'll be clamoring for and I like that you're filling that need. And to show my gratitude, I'm calling all the major news outlets and letting them know that I'll be forwarding all your confidential memos to the President, logs of all your calls with him, Secret Service logs of your meetings inside the White House.
CChris
I really pissed you off, huh?
Don't disrespect Leo McGarry and Bruno Gianelli.
I'm just simply going to kill you.
She seems nice.
That is the brunette, named Annette.
Wouldn't you give anything if she was from Tibet?
I'm actually fine with her being from Philadelphia, so please state your business.
We think you should run.
Why? Why would you think something like that?
Well, it was Josh's idea.
Actually, it was Amy's.
Why?
Well, I picked a trifecta with the California 47th, the sheriff's race in Arizona and the Tulsa Family Court.
Well, can I just give you the money and not...
I also think you'd be a home run choice. You're going to raise a lot of money. I'm going to help you and I have a hunch the President, who just won a landslide, will be making some visits as well. You'll be the best funded Democrat ever run in 47. You're not going to win, so you can't lose.
I think you'd energize the state party. We're not going to let you look like a fool. We won't allow it.
[to Toby] What do you think?
I don't think you should do it. Energizing the state party's good. A well-funded airing of the issues is good. So is mollifying House Democrats, but you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? You're going to lose. A Democrat's always loses in the 47th. Can't just pick up and try someplace else. They have a name for that.
I don't know. I don't know. I worked in a state assembly race in Manhattan, in a district where Democrats outnumbered Republicans sixteen to one. But everywhere we went, there'd be one lone poster of a right-wing nutbar who wanted to eliminate the income tax. And he was holding up signs an canvassing everywhere and bugging the local reporters until we had to comment on it. So I introduced myself to his campaign manager and I said 'What are you doing? Your candidate doesn't have a chance. Neither do your issues.' He said 'This is what I believe. And no candidate gets to run in my district without speaking to my issues.' I came this close to voting for him. So... I don't know about what you just said.
Then I think you should win.
S4Swiss Diplomacy
[loudly] Debbie! First of all where the hell are you and where are my–?
[enters with glasses] Right here, Mr. President. And the Ipswitch clams in Chesapeake Bay can hear you bellowing right now.
Ipswich clams don't come from Chesapeake Bay, they come from Ipswich.
Not anymore.
[to Leo] Have her beheaded for my birthday.
This meeting doesn't go in the Sit Room anymore, okay? I don't know why the hell it's here. This isn't a military operation.
It's a secure room.
My office is a secure room, too, isn't it? Please, somebody tell me it is or I gotta go pack some stuff.
Charlie! Would you pull the first lady out of whatever it is she's doing?
She's with the women's caucus.
Well put on a helmet and pads and get in there.
Samuel Mudd set Booth's leg after he shot Lincoln. Doctors are liable in this country if they don't treat the patient in front of them.
BBartlet
Just for the record, this is why we don't talk about foreign policy, which we do, but you don't think we do enough.
Why?
BBartlet
Because Samuel Mudd was tried and convicted of treason for setting that leg.
So?
BBartlet
What 'so'?
So that's the way it goes. You set the leg.
Run towards yourself. I'm wrong about that - walk. You're not going to be used to your surroundings.
Yes, sir.
If you lose, you lose. But if you waste this, I'll kill you.
You're going to campaign on prescription drugs?
Our prescription drug bill-- yes, sir-- and our Medicare reforms and the Bartlet Energy Plan.
Sam.
Yes, sir?
It's okay to run away from me when you need to.
I would never, Mr. President. I simply would never do that. That's not how I'm getting votes.
I appreciate that but that's not what I'm talking about. You disagreed with me on Medicare. I remember the meeting right here. Then you wrote a five-page
Yes, sir.
If you lose, you lose. But if you waste this, I'll kill you. I'll just kill you, Sam.
Yes, sir.
S4Arctic Radar
Call and response isn't going to work in front of a Joint Session. You're alliteration happy: 'guardians of gridlock,' 'protectors of privilege.' I needed an avalanche of Advil. And when you use pop-culture references, your speech has a shelf life of twelve minutes. You don't mind constructive criticism, do you?
No, sir.
Anyway, thanks for coming in. I told Sam I can do this by myself.
Well, maybe he thought that your speeches were obscurantist policy tracts lost in a cul-de-sac of their own internal self-righteousness and groaning from the weight of statistics. I'm just speculating. I can't say for sure.
[pause; laughs to himself] A 500-word stanza on American leadership in a globally interdependent age that moves beyond triumphalism by this time tomorrow. If it's 501, don't show it to me.
You want me to have the President dodge a call from the UN Secretary-General and not know why?
Yeah. Can you swing that?
If I could, that would be troubling, wouldn't it?
[to Leo] You're like the guys who say, 'Are you telling me you could only find one African-American speechwriter good enough to work at the White House?' I'm amazed I found that many. 'Good enough to work at the White House' is a pretty small population to begin with. And guys who can write entire sections of a State of the Union? I'd be as surprised if there were as many as nine of us. And Sam was one of them.
This is incredibly good... Will. 'Never shrinking from the world's...' '...a fierce belief in what we can achieve together.' I used to write like this. It was ten months ago. I don't understand what's going on. I really don't. I've had slumps before. Everybody does, but this is different. I'm sorry, we don't know each other, but there aren't that many people I can talk to about it. I don't understand what's happening. There's no blood going to it. I never had to locate it before. I don't even know where to look. I'm the President's voice and I don't want it to sound like this. And there's an incredible history to second Inaugurals. 'Fear itself,' Lincoln...I really thought I was on my way to being one of those guys. I thought I was close. Now I'm just writing for my life and you can't serve the President that way. But if I didn't write...I can't serve him at all.
Yeah. Can I tell you three things? You are more in need of a night in Atlantic City than any man I've ever met. Number two is, the last thing you need to worry about is no blood going there. You've got blood going there, about thirteen ways. And some of it isn't good. Once again, I say, 'Atlantic City.' I'd say sit down at a table, go for dinner, see a show take a walk on the boardwalk and smell the salt air... but if you're anything like me, nothing after 'sit down at a table' is going to happen.
What's the third thing?
You are one of those guys.
When you order a guy to go fight, the guy can't think it's because you're sleeping with his wife.
You're right.
That's...That's an unusual phrase for you sir, did you just learn it?
Well you didn't let me finish.
I had a hunch.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.