I don't get it. How can you not want to see the butter cow?
You understand it's a life-size cow made entirely of butter.
There's also a butter Elvis and a butter Last Supper which has, I swear to God, Toby...
It's got butter on the table right there between butter James and butter Peter, an almost mind-blowing vortex of art and material that dares the viewer to recall Marcel Duchamp.
How do they keep it from melting?
Toby, you have a phone call in the staff cabin.
Butter, butter, butter, butter, butter, butter, butter.
I'm the wrong Democrat to talk to about affirmative action.
Because... After my father fought in Korea, he became what this government begs every college graduate to become. He became a teacher. And he raised a family on a teacher's salary, and he paid his taxes and always crossed at the green. And any time there was opportunity for career advancement, it took him an extra five years because invariably there was a less qualified black woman in the picture. So instead of retiring as superintendent of the Ohio Valley Union Free School District, he retired head of the math department at William Henry Harrison Junior High.
I was a telemarketer for about a week. I can't remember what we were selling, but you worked off a script. "Hi. Good evening. My name is..." And "Toby Ziegler" was okay for New York, but once I got into the other time zones, I needed a name. I wasn't gonna bother anybody.
Toby, if you have something to say, please say it.
Ritchie's good for all time zones.
My family signed the Declaration of Independence. You think I've got an ethnicity problem?
Well, the line isn't between light skin and dark skin.
It's between educated and masculine. Or Eastern academic elite and plain-spoken.
It's always been like that.
Sir, I don't think I need to tell you that the level of respect with which the staff speaks of you doesn't change, depending on whether or not you're in the room.
Well, there's always been a concern about the two Bartlets. The absent-minded professor with the 'Aw, Dad' sense of humor. Disarming and unthreatening. Good for all time zones. And the Nobel Laureate. Still searching for salvation. Lonely, frustrated, lethal.
You're gonna sing a country western song?
The one whose father never liked him because he was too smart.
This stopped being fun for me a little while ago.
It was actually never fun for me. I was just being polite.
[pause] Your father used to hit you, didn't he, Mr. President?
Your father used to hit you, sir?
I'm done being polite now.
He did it because you made him mad, but you didn't know why.
Toby, it was a complicated relationship. Can I help you?
It was because you were smarter than he was.
It was a complicated relationship.
He didn't like you, sir. That's why he hit you. That's why people hit each other. He didn't like you. You were smarter than he was.
Why are we talking about this?
So maybe if you get enough votes, win one more election, maybe your father will--
You have stepped WAY over the line, and any other President would have your ass on the sidewalk right now.
They would've had you on the sidewalk a long time ago. I don't know what the hell goes on in a Brooklyn shrink's office, but get it the hell out of my house!
Thank you Mr. President. [he leaves]
