Josh Lyman quotes from The West Wing

Josh

You're too good at this. You can't just walk away.

Watch me.

Josh

I'm going to need a converter for China, and I can't find my garment bag.

Donna

I think baggage claim is in the next terminal over.

Josh

You used to love it when I couldn't dress myself without you.

Donna

I used to love peppermint ice cream, too, but now those little pieces of candy, they get stuck in your teeth in a way that I find irritating.

Will

[About Bob Russell] He's not stupid.

Josh

That's your bumper sticker?

Will

You have to care who's going to sit in that chair after Jed Bartlet is gone.

Josh

I do. That's why I don't want Bob Russell to be President.

What if we burned a flag, not in protest, but in celebration of the very freedoms that allow us to burn a flag - the freedoms that everyone who has ever worked in this magnificent building has pledged to preserve and protect?

Josh

[taken aback] Did you go to law school?

No, clown school.

Josh

What happened to the good old days when a couple of hacks with cigars chose the nominee in a smoked filled back room?

Leo

They didn't do so bad, did they?

Josh

We need a back room.

Wow. Hi.

Josh

How ya doin'?

You lost?

Josh

Could be. Could be.

Come on in.

Josh

Um, sorry to bug you at home, but there wasn't time to wait for you to get back to Washington.

I'm there next week.

Josh

I'm on a bit of a deadline. It's a filing deadline.

Josh, Josh, Josh.

Helen

Matt?

Josh

It's a little crazy, I know.

I'm not running for Congress again, Josh. You came a long way and I'm sorry about that, but it's just...

Josh

I'm not talking about Congress.

Josh

Cabinet meeting?

Will

...an informal conversation with senior members of the administration.

Josh

President doesn't need the Cabinet swooping in on their shining steeds.

Will

Wanna step into your office or something?

Josh

The president is still running the show, on two continents. Russell can stop with the less than subtle insinuations to the contrary. There will be no cabinet meeting.

Will

It's been announced. You don't think it will be more awkward if it doesn't happen.

Josh

You know what? Watch yourself. You and the candidate.

Will

You done?

Josh

No. Free advice for the campaign trail - stop with the ceaseless mentions of his tennis game. Doesn't make him look young and vigorous, it makes him look like a dilettante who can't settle down with a thick book.

Donna

Wheels down in Beijing in a minute or so.

Josh

A cabinet meeting.

Donna

You really think all the talk about tennis makes him look flaky?

Josh

No, I think it makes him look young and vigorous.

Leo

I just looked at the tape.

Josh

Vinick's announcement? Makes you want to cry like a little girl, doesn't it?

Leo

It's a tough primary for him. I wouldn't tear my shirt yet.

Josh

Russell offered me campaign manager.

Leo

Really?

Josh

Turned him down. Hoynes asked too.

Leo

Popular. You change your cologne or something?

Josh

Think Hoynes could win?

Leo

With Baker out? Russell's got a huge financial advantage. Sitting VP, he's going to raise a lot more money and he's in a position to offer a lot more favors.

Josh

Hoynes is a guy without a job.

Leo

That said, Hoynes is much more experienced in the job that Bob Russell holds, he was elected senator of a huge, complicated, and usually Republican state and Russell got elected representative of a district the size of my thumb.

Josh

Hoynes is smarter than Russell. He'll kick his ass in the debates.

Leo

And he's got more foreign policy experience. It could happen. But you gotta want to work for him and you gotta want him to win. You want that?

Josh

I want to get Jed Bartlet a third term.

Leo

Yeah. What happened to the good old days when a couple of hacks with cigars chose the nominee in a smoke-filled back room?

Josh

They didn't do so bad, did they? Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower.

Leo

We need a back room.

Josh

Well, we just about outlawed smoking and at this point I'm not allowed to look at a cigar. But we're it. You and me. This is the back room.

Josh

What are you going to do when this is done?

Toby

Whatever I can to stave off the chaos, mayhem and self-interest that lies just beneath our civil disguise.

Josh

So, not the private sector?

Toby

The money would have to be unbelievable.

Josh

[after Santos admits he only became a candidate to get a couple of months of media exposure for his education plan] I gave up everything for this! You aren't even in it to win?

Maybe we have a different definition of winning, Josh.

Josh

You're not making it easy.

Well, you know if we're going to do this, I'm not going to make it easy.... I'm going to push every limit. And that's the campaign you get to run.

Josh

What if I can't make that work?

Well, then no one can.

Josh

One idea is a big fund raising drive in the Latino community.

I don't feel comfortable with that right now.

Josh

Its a huge donor base you alone can tap.

Josh, I don't wanna just be the brown candidate, I want to be the American candidate.

Josh

How do you want to go broke? As the brown candidate or the American candidate?

Josh

How about our exclusion from the debates. Let's try that.

So, what do we do? Film chicken coops and say they're too chicken to debate us?

Josh

I want two volunteers. I want them in giant chicken suits. I want them in my office first thing in the morning.

Josh

We can't afford a huge, glitzy ad buy, so we run something feisty, funny, out-of-the-box. Turns our one minute of prime time into a national sensation.

Santos on ice skates, wearing a goalie outfit, pledging to defend America?

Josh

[pause] Closer to the box than that.