Helen Santos quotes from The West Wing

Wow. Hi.

Josh

How ya doin'?

You lost?

Josh

Could be. Could be.

Come on in.

Josh

Um, sorry to bug you at home, but there wasn't time to wait for you to get back to Washington.

I'm there next week.

Josh

I'm on a bit of a deadline. It's a filing deadline.

Josh, Josh, Josh.

Helen

Matt?

Josh

It's a little crazy, I know.

I'm not running for Congress again, Josh. You came a long way and I'm sorry about that, but it's just...

Josh

I'm not talking about Congress.

The bus is here. We've really got to move.

Sir, do you know what the average SMT time was this week?

Bram clocks this. He rounds up because he's got money on it.

92 minutes.

That's a lie!

Helen

SMT?

Santos Mean Time.

Helen

92 minutes late?

The notion that I'm the problem is convenient, but completely fallacious!

Is there a problem?

Helen

It's just that when you said you were going to come home and spend time with the kids, I thought you were going to spend some time with the kids.

I played with them this morning.

I don't want to get in their faces. They're sick.

Helen

They have head colds. It's unlikely you'll start bleeding from the eyes.

I'm in the middle of a Presidential campaign.

Helen

That's where you've been nights.

I know it's been rough.

Helen

The kids being issued panic buttons and the house transformed into an armed camp?

A bit of an exaggeration.

Helen

Do the windows in here look any different?

No, not really.

Helen

It's amazing the natural look they can achieve now with bulletproof glass. Labor Day, the barbecue: I had to provide the Secret Service with everyone's names, Social Security numbers, birth dates. To come by and have a hot dog, everybody had to be issued ID pins. My mother walking around tagged like she was some threatening wacko. If you're considering this an opportunity to crack a mother-in-law joke, you are seriously misjudging the mood of your audience.

[pause] I had a real good one, too.

Helen

Yeah, what?

Too late. [pause] I'm sorry. Tomorrow will be better.

Hey, think about the neat place we get to live in once we win this thing.

As you know, we have very little in the budget for redecorating.

Helen

Oh? How much is very little?

$200,000. You might want to establish a fund raising committee to raise a few million dollars and do it right. There really is a lot to do, especially in this room. I've never really liked the color of this rug but the Bartlets ... Well. It's up to you now.