BartletI'd like to know why my Treasury Secretary's on national television denouncing a tax cut I never saw because of an estimate I never asked for.
We did offer to brief you on the details.
Bartlet
Brief me now.
We're not quite ready to brief you on the details.
Bartlet
Because you made a complete hash of it; the Leadership's sole request before taking up peacekeeping.
We're close to 60 Democratic votes.
It's just that you might face a decision about the fall legislative agenda.
Bartlet
What is that?
Would you prefer a bill to appoint an American monarch...
...or a ban on the institution of marriage, except in casinos and department stores.
Bartlet
You tell the Speaker and the Majority Leader that with my newfound royal authority, with all my free time now that my marriage has been banned, and with the support of every NATO member in my pocket I'm sending those peacekeepers to the Middle East. If Congress wants to feed them, pay them, or ever bring them back, that's entirely up to them.
I assume we're free to play with the language on that.
Bartlet
We're done here.
Bartlet
A morphine drip, and we can skip the formalities. I might get one myself... wheel it into meetings with the joint chiefs. You're not fired, Leo. You can delegate, work part-time. Bring the morphine with you for all I care.
You... You remember... what you told me... when you offered me the job?
Bartlet
"I need you to jump off a cliff."
And I did. And I'd do it again. But you need a new... chief of staff.
Bartlet
We came here to put the job first. Spend our lives for something that would outlast us. I just thought we'd have a longer line of credit is all. I'm gonna need that list of names.
[After Toby and Josh have both "resigned" after CJ's promotion]
Bartlet
I'll make this quick. I don't know if I'm comfortable working this closely with a woman. Maybe it's time for me to call it a day, give the VP a chance to steer the ship.
[CJ looks confused; after a moment, Toby starts giggling, which sets everyone off, and CJ realizes the prank]
Bartlet
[to Toby] You're weak. You have a weak will. You should have held it. See if she pulled out the Continuity of Government plan.
He cracked up at the mere suggestion of the VP...
[Still giggling uncontrollably] I had a whole thing on spending time with my kids, I went up.
Bartlet
In the service of a vengeful god.
On behalf of the Vice President and myself and every man who's ever had a Wonder Woman fantasy, it's a bright day.
You got the energy quarterly?
Bartlet
I got it right here, thank you.
Bartlet
How about you get your own copy?
We're not ready to assess domestic nuclear storage facilities, sir. The team hasn't evaluated all the options and I haven't presented you with complete information.
Bartlet
You don't think this is a good start?
I think it's you doing my job for me. You're looking at this based on DOD's call. Their perspective is valid, but it's only one perspective, and until we've gathered all the others, if you need something to read, I recommend the new Benjamin Franklin bio. It's a real page turner. [Grabs papers and begins to exit] Thank you, Mr. President.
Bartlet
I just got spanked.
Hmm... Sorry I missed it. She still nervous?
Bartlet
I don't think so, no.
Bartlet
[woken by his staff, in his cabin on Air Force One] I thought you were gonna let me rest.
I'm so sorry, sir. State just got a heads-up from the IAEA that they're gonna report tomorrow that the South Korean government has admitted to conducting an experiment to enrich uranium. [as C.J. is talking, Bartlet is looking down at his legs and his arm, in some realization] South Korea is not releasing any details. We need you to get on the phone and get the President to come clean. We can't ask China to help stop North Korean nuclear experiments if the South is doing it too. [she picks up a phone] Get us a secure line with the South Korean President.
Bartlet
[softly] C.J....hold it.
Bartlet
...I can't move.
[moments later, the President is taken on a stretcher to another part of the plane]
SGSurgeon General Griffith
Progressive paralysis, he had trouble with his hands, now it's both legs and his right arm...
Bartlet
[sarcastically] So much for being staff-dependent in China.
SGSurgeon General Griffith
Fairbanks is closer, but Anchorage is better--
Bartlet
I've got better doctors up here than I do down there.
Mr. President, we can't take the chance--
Bartlet
Let's not pretend we didn't know this was gonna happen.
No, Mr. President, I didn't know...
Bartlet
I mean, we always knew it was gonna happen someday. I'm ready for it, you better be too.
Mr. President, we can't land in China--
Bartlet
[sternly] This plane is going to China. That's a direct order from your Commander-in-Chief.
What? Prime Minister Graty thinks you are an intellectual snob. A Yankee Doodle windbag. Likely as not you would have made things worse.
Bartlet
If an American dies and there is even the slightest suspicion of international intrigue, she's supposed to wake me.
Since when? If I had used that rule, you'd be dead by now of sleep deprivation.
[about the President's valentine date] You're taking her to the opera?
Bartlet
Verdi's Othello, romantic eh?
Isn't that the one where the guy kills his wife?
Bartlet
It's in Italian, I'm hoping she won't notice.
Bartlet
It's not up to us to decide what the voters get to use in evaluating us.
A little odd coming from someone who wasn't completely open about his health.
Bartlet
That was a big mistake.
Was it? What did we know about Lincoln's health when he was running: nothing. Washington? Jefferson? What about FDR's health? And when he died in office, did people say, "Gee, why didn't he tell us he was sick?" No. Did they say, "I wish I didn't vote for him"? No.
The West Wing · 913 quotes
