The Venture Bros. · Season 1
I have a sister? Named Dawn?? How long have you been keeping this from me?
Hank, no. I-I think...
Don't defend him, Brock! You knew about this, didn't you? Does Dean? What else haven't you told us??
Brock, you speak crazy, do something about him.
Hank, Baron Ünderbheit...
Good gravy! You're right, Brock! This is just what he wants. For us to turn on each other. And I played right into their hands. Dammit!
(gasps) Who are you?
The Wallflower! So we meet again!!
Nah, nah, the Wallflower had that thing on his head...
Lamest. Villain. Ever.
[A eunuch is preparing to give Dean, believed to be a girl, a bath]
Please, I'm a eunuch. You think the Baron would allow another set of balls near his wife? And don't worry, honey, even when I had 'em, you've got nothing I'm interested in. [Pulls down Dean's Princess Leia loincloth] ROOSTER IN THE HEN HOUSE!!
[Dean and the eunuch both scream in very high-pitched voices]
I'm fixed, what's your excuse?
You haven't come to rescue us? Then why did you bring the Bat person? And Chewbacca Wookie?
I'm not a woman! I'm a boy science adventurer, like my father before me! (drops robes)
Hank, no! It's suicide!
Well then I'll see you in Heck! (runs screaming down hall)
(sarcastically) Thank goodness, Hank's going to save us all. (glances at Brock) Oh, what are you so worried about? I can make another one. Hey, maybe he'll surprise us! He does get that kind of retard strength when he's all worked up.
You mess with the cat, you get the clops!
Yeah, und you mess with the girl, you get the Hitler!
Marry me.
Catclops? So you survived? Wait a minute, the cat hairs in my water! (lunges at Catclops) OF COURSE!!
Is that what you think? Oh that is rich, I will have to tell Manservant that one. And he will have to laugh.
Wow, a girl president! How progressive!
And a Hitler! Boy, things are really looking up!
Hank (To Dean, while lying on the floor, bleeding) I cut my tongue on my mask.
When the Guild of Calamitous Intent finally approves Dr. Orpheus for his very own arch-nemesis he calls upon old friends The Alchemist and Jefferson Twilight to resurrect their former super-team, The Order of the Triad. While they audition supervillain candidates at the Venture Compound, a jealous Doc isn't about to let Orpheus steal the show. Let loose the Walking Eye!
Yes, I only hunt blaculas.
Oh, so you only hunt African-American vampires?
No, sometimes I hunt British vampires. They don't have "African Americans" in England!
Oh yeah, huh, good point.
So I hunt blaculas.
I was just trying to be...
Man, I specialize in hunting black vampires, I don't know what the P.C. name for that is!
On three we give him the old Rochambeau.
Rock-paper-scissors?
What does a general from the American Revolution have to do with this?
American Revolution? Rochambeau sound...sounds French to me.
Well yes, the Franco-American forces.
They fought with spaghetti-o's and meatballs?
Why would a company called Franco-American make Italian food?
Boooooo!!
Ah! Dude, I was about to kill you! I have dangerous cat-like reflexes.
Oh yeah, you were terrifying when you crapped your pants.
(reading Triana's message in the bathroom mirror) "I'm in the Torrid Zone. Call my feather". We need to find her feather!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
