[with dramatic flourish] Who is Hector Molina?! And why do they keep sending me his Junk Mail?!?
TTed
Head's up, kids! Think we may have stumbled unto a Dracula factory!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
TTed
(after seeing Venturestein) Correction! Dracula-Frankenstein factory!
Don Rio is a transcendent multidimensional genius, Brock. His every word an onion of infinite leaf! His every Pearl - [Vomits into a bucket] - Oh. Yes. This is coming on now.
Hey, you know what? I think I... I feel a little bad about killing that guy.
[Brock's POV, he is shimmering wildly as Brock begins to hallucinate] Yeees, my friend, a splendid first step indee- [vomits again]
TTed
Come on, Sonny. Mystery.
F*** your mystery, man. I'm sick.
TTed
[holds up a prescription bottle] Sonny? Bet you'll come out for some Groovy treats.
[Sonny scrambles out of the Mystery Van and falls in the mud, to the amusement of the gang]
Why do we have to eat breakfast with your dead guy?
VDr. Venture
Venturestein's been through a lot, Dean.
Venturestein!
VDr. Venture
You like that?
Sure do, Pop!
VDr. Venture
Good boy, Hank. Dean, right now Hank is better than you.
It's bad, Doc, real bad. The boys saw their own clones. Think they're in some kind of... saw your own clone...coma.
More power! I must have more power! Look Brock, his fingers! They're twitching!
Yeah, well, a stiff will do that if you shove a gigavolt up its ass.
No, he's alive! ALIVE I tell you!
Uh, sure Doc.
Holy shit.
Hey Pop, why's the top of that guy's head black?
VDr. Venture
Not black, Hank! African American. The top of that guy's head is African American.
Dad, why's the top of this guy's head African American?
VDr. Venture
Because Brock caved in his original cranium and I had to use whatever fits.
I don't know about this, Ted...
TTed
Patty, if God didn't want us to solve this mystery, he wouldn't have had us run out of gas here.
But...what's the mystery?
Hey, y'know, we're not out of gas, man...We got a five gallon tank in the back of the...
TTed
[hits Sonny] Why do you hate God so much?
I don't hate God, man...
TTed
Well, God thinks you hate him, and that's just as bad as hating him. So how about you and Groovy go and start looking for some clues!
Clues to what? What is your trip?
TTed
[Upbeat] Clues to why I don't chain you to the back of my van and road haul you until you're nothing but a pelvis - wearing a belt!
GBGroovy the Bloodhound
Guy's pissin' on your lawn, man.
GBGroovy the Bloodhound
Painted lips!... School-girl outfits!... And zer pretty hair, Sonny... zer hair needs to be punished, Sonny...
Would ya give it a rest, Grooves?
Groovy the Bloodhound: Start doing zer Master's bidding! Yer already filthy wiz wrath and sin!
[Looking at a globe]
Where the heck did they put African America?
[Upon discovering the room filled with slug clones of the Venture Brothers]
TTed
You're not ghosts! You're the fucking Boys from Brazil!
Brock, I need dead people. Lots and lots of dead people.
Uh-huh.
Now I've already got 12 from the henchmen you killed, not counting the black guy without the head, but we need like, uh, 100 something. We need like a full gross of dead people.
Right, and, uh... where are we gonna get all these dead people?
Well, I thought, seeing as you are... you know, you and all, I thought maybe... you could go out and--
No.
--make some...
No.
...dead people.
No.
Well, fine. Thanks a lot for not helping.
Anything else?
HELP ME GET DEAD PEOPLE!
Ah, Mr. Venture. I caught you.
(unenthusiastic) Yay.
As per our landlord tenant agreement I've come to inform you of a small gathering I will host from, say, 5 in the post meridian until, question mark.
Whatever. Knock yourself out.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.