“Assisted Suicide” quotes from The Venture Bros.

Dr. Orpheus

[grabbing Dean and Hank's hands] I am blessed by what he loves most—the key to his soul's lock! Open his mind to me! [Nothing happens] Please?

Brock

Yeah, I'm not sure you had the right...key?

Dr. Orpheus

I am blessed by what he loves most—the key to his soul's lock! Open his mind to me! [Still nothing] Nope. Maybe I should...

Wait. Okay, try it with his old headshot, all the awards, the signed picture of Loni Anderson, all the money, the newspaper clippings, the shoebox of old love letters, but without the Rush cassette.

Brock

[removing the tape] Oh, here's your problem—it's a "best of."

And there's one more thing we haven't tried, [indicating Dean] and it's nothing personal, but...

Dean

[dejectedly stepping aside] I get it.

Dr. Orpheus

Okay, one more time. I am blessed by what he loves most—the key to his soul's lock! Open his mind to me!

Brock

I'm sure it was the Rush cassette, Dean.

Dr. Orpheus

Do you feel that?

Thank you, yes. And it hurts because I always say nice things about him. But he's always putting me down in front of the other guy...

Dr. Orpheus

No, that rumble. What is that rumble?

[Echo voice] Leviathan. He is why men murder. He is why men made war. The beast within us all. We are doomed.

Eerie, isn't he?

Oh crap, get outta the way.

I hate those things. They're all over the place in here. They chew on stuff and get poop on everything.

Dr. Orpheus

They are his dead sons, forever haunting his subconscious mind.

[Echo voice] Leviathan draws near. Death is at hand. We cannot outrun the beast.

He gets that way around death. It's like he's in a Creed video. Why don't we go in one of these doors.

OK. Yeah that's cool.

Dr. Orpheus

I presume you are the Rusty's Ego?

You got it. And the little guy's Eros, the jerk who made the Rusty join Match.com.

He's got to at least try to get some loving.

And the one with the umbrella is Thanatos, the jerk who made the Rusty quit Match.com.

Hey, many of these women could be murderous gold diggers, or, at the very least, carriers of chlamydia.

Hank

Are you okay? Dr. O said probably insane now and that you'll never be the same.

Are you kidding? Okay, I'm just turning 16 and having a birthday pool party. My father invites every girl he knows, and I'm not talking about girls my age. No, not Jonas. He invites Playboy Bunnies and models and, I think, actual whores—you know, real prostitutes. So there I am in my giant bathing suit with nervous puberty oozing out of my gigantic pores. Just—just awful. So, the band suddenly stops playing and I hear "and now the man of the hour, Rusty Venture!" All eyes on me, right? Then suddenly, almost predictably, the Action Man shoots my groin with a shrink ray right as that fucking jackass Colonel Gentleman pulls my shorts down.

Hank

Wow. That's like a nightmare.

Oh, no! No! What I went through today was "like a nightmare." What happened when I was 16, that is my life.