“The Silent Partners” quotes from The Venture Bros.

I have a check here for $50,000 for whoever helps me rescue Billy from vampires.

Brock

We're not mercenaries, White. We handle the guys that nobody else wants to deal with.

Well, that's perfect, because nobody else wants to deal with me.

Brock

Yeah, you're not getting it. Hunter, why don't you explain what we do here at SPHINX.

SPHINX!

It works like this—if someone points a gun at you, you call the police. If a bunch of guys are pointing guns at you, you call SWAT. If they're in spandex and pointing a super laser at you, you call OSI. And if they're dressed regular and pointing a super laser at your daughter, that's when you call SPHINX.

SPHINX!

So explain to me why we'd give a squirt about your roomie being abducted by vampires.

We're talking about Billy here! You guys owe him. You did the...you know.

Spit it out, White! This is SPHINX!

SPHINX.

We have no secrets here. When men live and work together, it's imperative that there are no secrets. I miss my breasts! Inside of me, there's a woman screaming to be heard.

I hit a dog with my car last week, but told the owner I found him like that.

Brock

I once jerked off twelve times in one day just to see if I could.

I had an erotic dream about Henry Rollins last night, and I'm straight as an arrow.

Remember that smell I told you was the garbage? That was my ass. I had chicken tandoori for lunch.

Let's SET SAIL! (long pause)

Brock

Well...what are we waiting for?

We have to SET the SAIL! Like you guy's have to help me put it up!

[regarding the ship] What do you call her?

I call her Manny's Song.

Brock

Who's Manny?

Me first love. She left me for a bloke named Craig, who just slept with her and tossed her away. Haven't seen her since then. I heard she was with some go-nowhere mechanic named Jay.

Brock

Sad. Does she know how you feel?

Um, no, she doesn't because that's all from a TV show. Captain Cuckoo here named his boat after Manny Santos on Degrassi.

You're a liar!

I can't believe they killed J.T.

I know! And they hardly talk about it, like after Terri bashed her skull on that rock.

Yeah, I'm the liar, me.

Where do you want us to bite you?

I don't want to be bitten. Can you just do the sucking part and not the biting part?

He's not my best friend. I just work with him.

And live with him and do everything with him. That's best friends.

Maybe. But I always thought of Rusty as my best friend.

What?! You know what, White. You are a starfucker. Yeah, you have the greatest friend in the world, and because he's not famous, you don't care. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Rusty and I went to school together. We were inseparable.

Starfucker.