What the hell are you doing?!
I'm pretending I'm Farrah Fawcett making her big comeback. What do you think I'm doing? I'm not gonna sleep in the bed you pleasured Phantom Limb in. I'm burning the bed and—what are these, Little League trophies, and all these self-help books?
Well, sell them! Do you have to burn 'em, it's insane!
You know what's insane? The fact that you slept with a guy who read The Secret You want the Secret? Your ex-boyfriend's pathetic. (whispers) Shh, don't tell anyone. Secret.
[Sgt. Hatred leaves the Venture Compound after introducing himself and says goodbye by pulling a gun and shooting Dr. Venture.]
(advancing on Hatred) Hey, hey!!
Woah, rubber bullets, rubber bullets! Just keepin' it lively! It's not all charts and schedules and...
[Hatred and Brock look down to see Dr. Venture curled up and bleeding profusely.]
Man, he's a delicate one, isn't he? They don't usually break the skin like that. (into his comlink) Malice Troop!
Yeah, we got a bleeder here. Eighty-six the non-lethal. We're goin' full Nerf on this one!
2 #21
Hey! How ya feelin'?
2 #24
Like a dwarf stuck a knife in me. How do you think I feel? Didja bring my.... magazines ...?
2 #21
No, but I brought something way better! I got somebody here who came to cheer you up!
2 #24
(excited) He remembered??
(Dean, wearing a ridiculous Patch Adams costume, enters the room)
2 #21
(struggling not to laugh) Well, I'll leave you two to catch up!
Good idea! This area is officially quarantined. Because smiles are contagious!
2 #24
(tersely, to #21) I HATE you...
(Sergeant Hatred's guests are playing a party game where they have to guess the celebrity name written on a tag on their back, based on comments from other guests.)
FS Female Supervillian
You are married to a powerful man...
FS Female Supervillian
No. Let's see... you are famous for your pink dresses and pillbox hats...
(later)
TW Tuxedo-wearing Supervillian
I loved you in "Fire Walk With Me," but most know your work from...
(obviously very bored) Yeah, fine, whatever. (Pulls off his own tag and reads it to the room ) I'm Harry Dean Stanton!
(everyone checks their tags)
Huh? Who the heck is.... Jack-a-leen Oh-nass-is?
(The Monarch during Sergeant Hatred's party game)
You're a brainless failure and live entirely off your father's name and fortune!
Hardly! I've never never hated anyone as much as you!
Oh wait wait. Hitler? Did he have a famous father?
Worse! Washup! You should just admit that you will never amount to anything and drink, poison!
Oh is it... uh... Socrates son?
(After Brock ends the game)
Ahh of course, Mariah Carey. So close. Seriously, I would have gotten that.
[Everyone is playing Charades. Dr. Venture flaps his arms wildly like a chicken.]
Um..."Birdman of Alcatraz!"
"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!"
We know he's a bird! He's been doing the same thing for five fucking minutes! Okay, my God! Go to the next word! Give me a "sounds like!" YOU'RE KILLING ME!
[#21 and Hank are outside the window of The Monarch's house spying on Kevin & Tim-Tom watching a movie]
That’s your big problem? Your scared of two little babies?
2 #21
Dude! Get back, they’ll see you.
You got me all worked up. You said they had claws!
2 #21
Get back! Alright, I exaggerated it a little. Did you see what they did to #24? They’re like nasty swearing spider-monkeys with knives.
Holy smokes! That lady is wearing her birthday suit! I think they’re watching, no-no movies.
2 #21
They’re not, they’re watching Nell. And that’s my DVD.
Dude! I think I just saw Shindler's Dingus.
What-why? Are you smoking?
What?! When did you start smoking?
So you have been lying! It all makes sense, the filled ash trays, the burning pine scented hair sprays…
I guess I’ll be the one to say it, her three-pack-a-day voice.
2 #21
Could you sign this, boss? It’s for 24, he got knifed by the Moppets.
2 #21
What?! You’re kidding, right? Let me give a hint: you know how every time you talk to me, there’s usually another guy next to me. That’s 24.
Right, right, right, the one that sounds like Ray Romano. I like him.
No no no, no apologies necessary. To all fair and love & war.
I just assumed that magic we share that night was something that was bigger than the both of us.
Well if it did happen, that was only because I didn’t know who you were.
And not many women have... hit on me because of my fame.
And some just sense the inner-animal, pheromones. Ladies pick up on it.
Are you sensing anything now?... I smell perhaps, meow!
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
