What the hell are you doing?!
I'm pretending I'm Farrah Fawcett making her big comeback. What do you think I'm doing? I'm not gonna sleep in the bed you pleasured Phantom Limb in. I'm burning the bed and—what are these, Little League trophies, and all these self-help books?
Well, sell them! Do you have to burn 'em, it's insane!
You know what's insane? The fact that you slept with a guy who read The Secret You want the Secret? Your ex-boyfriend's pathetic. (whispers) Shh, don't tell anyone. Secret.
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