“Mid-Life Chrysalis” quotes from The Venture Bros.

Sir, your craft is unregistered, and you failed to file a flight plan. Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?

Don’t you people have anything better to do than harass innocent people trying to get to Marrakesh?

Zip it, Grandpa. I’m speaking to the pilot.

Grandpa? Well, I’ll have you know-

Sir, I am not gonna tell you again.

Brock

It’s all right, soldier. I got special clearance. [Hands pilot his CIA card] I’m with a top-secret branch of the government. So if you don’t mind, we have a mission to get back to.

[looks at license] Sir. This I.D. expired six months ago. [Hearing this, Brock freaks out. Dr. Venture stands next to him, annoyed]

Great. When Marrakesh is overrun by mutant lizard people don’t come crying to me.

"Grandpa." How dare they! I'm only 43. I'm still a young man. Maybe a little frayed around the edges, but who wouldn't be between my work and raising two boys? ...Crap, who am I kidding? My looks are going down the toilet faster than an unwanted pregnancy on prom night.

So, I guess this is goodbye. I will remember these last few days with you as the happiest of my life. Well except for the caterpillar part, I mean.

Well, let's see here Mr. Samson. On the driving portion you totaled every car but the one you were driving. On the pistol range you refused to use a gun, and, oh, ha, here's my favorite, on the written you drew the little guy with wings from the Led Zeppelin records.

Brock

Icarus. So, uh, what are trying to tell me here, little man, that you don't like Zep? [Tester stands and rips the written portion in half]

My father is General Treister. You saved his life. The man spoke of you as a god. [pause] And you did not disappoint.

Brock

Oh yeah. I used to babysit you.

Dean

Hear that? I'm in charge. And I think it's just about little Hanky's bed time.

Hank

Oh, take a bow. [Hits him in the crotch]

Dean

Yahtzee!

[To Brock] You got it, ape-drape. [Brock growls] A bud for captain mullet head. [Brock begins to draw his knife]

[as Brock leaves] Leavin' us so soon, hockey hair? [Brock represses a scream because he isn't allowed to kill him]

This test will, uh, test your proficiency with firearms, you'll have two min-

Brock

Uh uh. No guns. I don't use guns.

The nine millimeter Glock is standard issue to all agents in the field. You're required-

Brock

Guns are for sissies.

Hey Brock!

Brock

Go to bed. [walks past the door dejectedly, then walks back in] Why would you dress like that? [Dean is in his underwear with a number of socks wrapped around his head]

Hank

Dean lost a bet, and now he's my slave, and he's refusing a direct order to drink this!

Brock

You never welch on a bet, Dean. Be a man. Drink it. [Hank is offering some green liquid with various substances floating in it] Go to bed. You're father's gonna be... coming... [leaves mumbling dejectedly]

Dean

Brock looks like hell.

Hank

Drink it.

No. No no no. Bad robot! Bad H.E.L.P.E.R. We don't do that. [H.E.L.P.eR is eating test tubes] We do not eat test tubes! Come here! [H.E.L.P.E.R. backs away] I'm not playing games here. [A hole burns through H.E.L.P.eR's stomach] What, you don't feel well now? Well, what did you expect? You're mixing acids and bases there.

So I said, "Listen, my Dad invented UNIVAC, so I think I would know!" Well, that uppity little T.A. didn't give me any more trouble the rest of the semester.

Dr. Girlfriend

[forces a laugh] You dog, you.

Hank

[hands Brock a tiny lunchbox] I packed a lunch for you. Bologna and cheese. And I cut the crusts off the way I like.

Dean

And I downloaded a bunch of crib notes into your communicator watch. You get stuck on one of the hard questions, just look it up.

What you are about to see is a nightmare, inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka!

Hank

Holy crap! What happened?

Apparently this is the reward I get for years of screwing with super-science. In short, I pissed in God's eye, and he blinked.

Dean

No worries, Brock. I'll walk you through the written portion. Question 1: You're in Prague. A sniper's in the window above you. There's an alligator behind you, and a grizzly bear in front of you. What do you do? Do you-

Brock

Back somersault, pry off the alligator's jaw, use it as a boomerang to take out the sniper. When he falls out the window, the grizzly'll go straight for the easier meal.

Dean

Uh... the answer's C.

Hank

You're nothing! You're weak! Why do you even wanna be a secret agent, boy? You think you're good enough?

Brock

[stops] Hank, seriously, when I get my license back I'm allowed to kill you.

Hank

Oh. [Hurriedly removes his foot] Sorry, Brock.