Klaus Mikaelson quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Rebekah

I am not a brat!

Klaus

A thousand years of life experience says otherwise.

Klaus

Now this is fascinating, I've never seen this before. The only thing stronger than your craving for blood is your love for this one girl. ...Why don't you turn it off?

Stefan

No.

Klaus

Come on... Your humanity is killing you! All the guilt, must be exhausting. (pauses) Turn it off.

Stefan

No!

Elena

Stefan...

Klaus

You're strong. But you're not...that...strong. (pauses) Turn...it...off.

Stefan

(shoves Klaus away) NO!

Klaus

TURN IT OFF!

Klaus

...I fixed him.

Klaus

Well, look who finally decided to show up to the party.

Damon

Where is she?

Klaus

Elena? Ah, she's making a donation to a greater cause. (blocks him) I'm afraid I can't let you interfere, mate.

Damon

You'll have to kill me.

Klaus

Oh, I would love to kill you. But I made a pledge to your brother and, unlike him, I keep my word. Although, you know what? Thinking about it now, he probably doesn't care that much anymore. (grabs Damon by the throat and pins him against the hood of a car)

Damon

(talking fast) You don't wanna know about your friend Mikael?

Klaus

What do you know about Mikael?

Damon

Just that he knows you're here...

Klaus

Bluffing.

Damon

Katherine and I found him. Consider it our leverage.

Klaus

Your mom is not a problem. I compelled her to go to the church and pray for your friends.

What are you talking about?

Klaus

(gesturing to the kids at the party) I want you to look around. There is Bonnie, there is Elena and Matt and there's your pretty little girlfriend Caroline. Epic dance was wrecked tonight and who came through with the party? You did

Klaus

My sister has gone missing.

Damon

Cute, blonde bombshell? Psycho? Shouldn't be too hard to find.

Damon

Stefan just grabbed Elena.

Klaus

Well, he's getting desperate.

Damon

He's going to try to use her against you. Do what he says. Get rid of your hybrids.

Klaus

Or what? Stefan would never dream of killing her.

Damon

Are you sure about that? He just tried to behead someone in the middle of a council party. He's operating on crazy right now.

Klaus

Well crazy or not, that kind of love never dies. He's bluffing.

Damon

Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. But if you don't wanna believe him, believe me. I know my brother better than anyone and right now I don't have a clue how far he's willing to take this. So if he says blink, I suggest you blink.

Caroline

Are you going to kill me?

Klaus

On your birthday? You really think that low of me?

Caroline

Yes.

Klaus

That looks bad. My apologies you were just collateral damage, it's nothing personal. I love birthdays.

Caroline

Yeah, aren't you like a billion or something?

Klaus

You'll have to adjust your perception of time when you become a vampire Caroline, celebrate the fact that you are no longer bound by trivial human conventions. You're free.

Caroline

No I'm dying.

Klaus

And I could let you, die, if that's what you want. If you really believe your existence has no meaning. I thought about it myself once or twice over the centuries, truth be told. But I'll let you in on a little secret, there's a whole world out there waiting for you, great cities and art and music, genuine beauty, and you can have all of it, you can have a thousand more birthdays - all you have to do is ask.

Caroline

I don't wanna die.

Klaus

(bites his wrist as he picks Caroline up to give her his blood) There you go, sweetheart. Have at it. (she begins to drink) Happy birthday, Caroline.

Damon

(about the coffins) Well, Bonnie gave me the heads-up. I didn't have enough time, to get all four, but I did have time to get one.

Klaus

I will tear you apart, limb from limb. And only then, when you're a riving mass of blood and flesh, will I rip your heart from your chest.

Damon

Sorry. The same rules apply. You know, leverage and all. I know you want your family back. But something tells me, you want what's in that coffin a lot more.

Stefan

Where's Rebekah? Last I checked she was still daggered because you couldn't face her.

Klaus

If you're referring to the fact that I killed our mother, I've already come clean to Elijah.

Damon

Hey Stef, remember when you killed dad? You might want to hold off on the judgement until dessert.

Stefan

We're here to make a deal Damon. Doesn't mean we need to kiss his ass for seven courses.

Klaus

Elijah. Why haven't you left?

Elijah

Where are your manners, brother? We forgot desert. (removes a cloth from the tray, revealing two silver daggers)

Klaus

What have you done?

Elijah

What have you done? You see I've learned not to trust your vulgar promises, Klaus. We're doing this on my terms now. (Klaus's brother, Kol, enters the room)

Klaus

Kol!

Kol

Long time, brother.

Klaus

(Runs to the tray to retrieve a dagger but the dagger is seized by his other brother, Finn) Finn, don't- (Finn stabs Klaus in the hand with the dagger. Klaus turns to run away and stops dead in his tracks) Rebekah!

Rebekah

(stabs Klaus in the heart) This is for our mother. (Klaus stumbles back to be seized by the arms by Kol. Finn and Rebekah surround him with angry looks on their faces)

Klaus

I'm glad you came.

Caroline

Well it was either caviar or sympathy casseroles.

Klaus

I heard about your father.

Caroline

Don't. Seriously.

Klaus

Caroline! (as he runs after her and almost gets run hit by a car)

Caroline

Are you serious? Take a hint.

Klaus

Don’t be angry, love. We had a little spat. I’m over it already.

Caroline

Ah, well, I’m not.

Klaus

How can I quit myself?

Caroline

You and your expensive jewelry and your romantic drawings can leave me alone.

Klaus

Oh, come on, take a chance, Caroline. (sits down on a bench) Talk to me. Come on, get to know me. I dare you.

Caroline

Fine. (sits down next to him) So, what do you wanna talk about?

Klaus

I want to talk about you. Your hopes, your dreams, everything you want in life.

Caroline

Just to be clear, I’m too smart to be seduced by you.

Klaus

Well, that’s why I like you.

Klaus

I wouldn't let it bother you, love.

Bonnie

Well, it does bother me. You bother me.

The Salvatore's may fight like dogs but in the end, they would die for each other. At least they know what family means. You destroyed ours.

Klaus

I wanted a family. They just didn't want me. And now, we're unlinked. We're no longer responsible for each other.

Klaus

Where have you been, mate?

Tyler

I just got back in town.

Klaus

That's funny. I don't recall giving you permission to leave in the first place.