Klaus Mikaelson quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Klaus

Tell me you have not been careless enough to make an enemy of Rayna Cruz!

Klaus

We're going to see a witch. I may have something that can help you with your Rayna Cruz problem.

Damon

Any reason you stopped by to say 'hi'?

Klaus

I'm told you and your brother fancy my doppelganger. Just thought I'd remind you not to do anything you'll regret.

Damon

Ha! Thanks for the advice. I don't suppose I could talk you into a postponement, by any chance, huh?

Klaus

You're kidding. (looks to Alaric) He's kidding right?

Alaric

No, not really.

Damon

I mean, come on, what's one month in the whole grand scheme of things?

Klaus

Let me be clear... I have my vampire. I have my werewolf. I have everything I need. The ritual will happen tonight. So if you want to live to see tomorrow, don't screw it up.

Elena

Greta, witches are supposed to maintain the balance of nature. It's your duty to them, to keep this curse sealed.

My duty is to Klaus. The new order.

Klaus

Glad to know I still have a dance partner.

Klaus

I heard about this one vampire, crazy bloke, always on-and-off the wagon for decades. When he was off, he was magnificent. 1917 he went into Monterrey and wiped out an entire migrant village. True ripper. Sound familiar?

Stefan

I haven’t been that way in a very long time.

Klaus

Well, that’s the vampire I can make a deal with. That is the kind of talent that I can use when I leave this town.

Stefan

Your blood is the cure.

Klaus

Gotta love Mother Nature.

Stefan

My brother still on our trail?

Klaus

He's getting closer, I'm gonna have to deal with that.

Stefan

No, no no. Let me handle that.

Klaus

Why should I let you leave?

Stefan

Cause you know I'll come back.

Klaus

Do I?

Stefan

You saved my brother's life, I'm at you're service.

Klaus

Aah, you all sound so tedious, aren't you even having the least bit of fun?

Stefan

I'll make sure that my brother doesn't bother us any more.

Klaus

Please, forgive the intrusion. My name is Klaus.

You're the hybrid.

Klaus

You've heard of me. Fantastic.

Stefan

Some master race.

Klaus

Lose the attitude.

Klaus

You look like hell.

Stefan

Last I checked, I'm dying.

Klaus

Chicago was magical.

Stefan

Yeah, well, I'll take your word for it. Like I said, I don't remember most of it.

You got to be kidding me.

Klaus

So a hybrid walks into a bar, says to the bartender...

Stop. You may be invincible, but that doesn't make you funny.

Klaus

I see they've opened the doors to the riffraff now.

Damon

Oh, honey, I've been called worse.

Rebekah

There has to be more to this dress.

Stefan

There’s not.

Rebekah

So women in the 21st century dress like prostitutes, then. You know, I got dirty looks for wearing trousers.

Klaus

You wore trousers so women today could wear nothing.

Klaus

Nice one, good work.

Stefan

You're the one that pulled the dagger out of her.

Rebekah

I heard that!