Stefan Salvatore quotes from The Vampire Diaries

She may not feel much, but shes gonna feel that in the morning.

Stefan

So what's the plan?

When Bonnie was whaling on her tonight, I could see it in her eyes. Elena thought she was gonna die. She was scared.

Stefan

Fear.

Last time I checked, one of those pesky human emotions.

Stefan

So plan "c"... make her life a living hell.

You care to talk about our other problem? You know, the one that can be anywhere, at any time.

Stefan

Silas still needs Bonnie. And if tonight is any indication, she's no pushover. She's not gonna let him manipulate her, not anymore.

I wouldn't underestimate his talents. He fooled the hell out of both of us. What did he say to you anyway?

Stefan

He led me out in the woods, claiming he saw Silas, then he staked me.

Hmm.

Stefan

How did he get to you?

Talked about his hair. I figured it had to be you.

Stefan

Funny.

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That's the calmest desiccating vampire I've ever seen. I remember when you starved me down there for three days. I would have wept at your feet for an orange peel.

Stefan

Look, she's not gonna beg for blood. Begging means desperation. Emotion. She's still a no-humanity zone.

How hungry does she have to be before we can torture some feelings back into her?

Stefan

A lot hungrier than she is now, apparently.

So, what are we supposed to do in the mean time?

Katherine

Maybe I can provide a little excitement.

Stefan

(surprised) Katherine.

Katherine

The one and only. Sort of.

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I said, I'm going to kill you!

Bingo! See? There's a little rage. I should have figured out that'd be the first emotion that came out of you. I tend to pull that out of people.

Stefan

Elena, look at me. We don't want to do this, okay? You can stop this right now. It's your choice.

Kind of funny, actually, you being the one to pull back the curtain. I bet part of you enjoys it since, you know, I dumped you and all.

Wow. That was downright vindictive. See? I think now we're breaking through that tough candy shell and getting into the ooey-gooey rich center of your humanity. This is good. I think we should shine some light on the subject.

Let me guess... this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me.

Stefan

Look, I know what you're going through. After all you've done, you're afraid to face the guilt you'll feel if you turn your emotions back on. The only way we can help you is to make the alternative hurt even worse.

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Stefan

So that went well.

Every other vampire turns it on, no problem. You kill. You feed. You do all the awful things that a vampire does. And then when you're done, you turn it back on. Why is she being so stubborn?

Stefan

Because she has nothing to come back to. Her home's gone. Her family's gone. She alienated her friends. She destroyed her relationships.

No. She wants to come back. Scaring the hell out of her should have worked. She's smart. She know we're not gonna hurt her.

Stefan

All right. So we get somebody else, somebody who would really hurt her.

Who? Katherine?

Stefan

Think about it. She's the reason Jeremy's dead, right? So if anybody's gonna provoke an emotion, it's her.

So we call her and then what? Beg her to help us out of the kindness of her own heart. You kidding me?

Stefan

Katherine was just abandoned by Elijah. She has nothing. She has no one. We invite her into our house to come torture Elena. There's no way she's gonna turn that down.

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Enough. You are acting like a little spoiled brat. You know that? You think that we can't punish you. Maybe not. But I can sure punish him.

Matt

(weakly) Elena.

Seriously you think that this is...

Shut up. I'm done playing nice. Turn your emotions back on right now, Elena, or so help me, God, I will give you something to be sad about. I will kill him right here in front of you.

Stefan

Damon.

Don't "Damon" me. If she doesn't love anyone, fine. Prove it. And if I'm wrong, what difference does it make? One less bus boy.

Matt

Elena...

Your bluffing.

(snaps Matt's neck, causing Elena to gasp in horror) How about now. Feel anything now? You angry I just turned your buddy into road kill? Or are you sad that the guy that everybody loves is just a bag of bones? Remember when he was a little kid, huh? Warm heart, big, goofy smile, his whole life ahead of him. I guess it was a good idea that he wearing this. (on Matt's hand is a Gilbert ring)

Oh, God, Matt.

You feel that weight lifting off your chest? That's joy. Because your friend isn't dead. That's emotion, Elena. That's humanity.

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Stefan

You've been back, what, 5 minutes and you're already laughing at me?

No, I've been laughing at you for a while, you just haven't been able to see me.

Stefan

Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?

Trust me, I do. Although I see I've been replaced by another blonde?

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Stefan

The truth is, there are no shortcuts. You are a vampire, Elena. Loss is part of the deal. Look, I've been alive for 163 years. I have lost more loved ones than I can count, and it hurts me every single time.

So there's no hope? You're saying I'm hopeless?

Stefan

No, I'm saying you have to face your grief. But you don't have to do it alone... I can help you.

Oh, of course you can. God, Stefan! Always trying to help, and you're concerned for me, it's just like...

Stefan

You're transferring your rage onto me, that's good.

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Stefan

Damon, help me celebrate my 17th high school graduation. Hey! You remember my friend Lexi, of course.

Lexi back from the dead. Goodie.

What's up, buzz kill?

Stefan, you just gonna sit there and let her enact her ghostly revenge?

Stefan

You reap what you sow, buddy.

Let's be very clear. Whatever time I have left here I sure as hell don't plan on wasting on you. Got me?

Yeah. Got you. So if you and Ric and little Gilbert are all flesh-like and real-seeming, that means something went horribly wrong when Bonnie tried to put the veil up, and here you two are having "Dance Party USA".

Stefan

You're right. How selfish of me to be indulging in these precious moments with my formerly dead best friend. I should be sacrificing my own happiness for the good of others, right? I should be upstairs grooming my hero hair.

Are you drunk?

Stefan

I don't know, mom, am I?

[Lexi laughs]

Well I guess that's one way to celebrate our supernatural apocalypse. Now care to hazard any guesses in what the hell went wrong?

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You know, you're missing your chance to weigh in on the great Elena Gilbert cure debate.

Stefan

What am I supposed to do, tell her it's her choice? Because that worked out so well. You know, it's funny. Those two are in there arguing about how to protect the world, and they have yet to address their biggest issue.

Enlighten me.

Stefan

Sire bond's gone. Elena's emotions are back. She finally knows exactly how she feels.

And if whatever she feels is for you...

Stefan

She's the love of my life. I'd go back to her in a heartbeat. But if that's not how she feels, then maybe that's exactly what I need to hear to get my ass out the door. Maybe I will move to Australia. I can live in a yurt.

Cheers to that.

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Come on! We don't need the cure for Silas, he's calcified stone. Ugh.

What was that?

Nothing.

Take off your shirt.

Elena, there are children present.

Fine. [pulls the collar down to reveal Damon's shoulder] Damon, why isn't this healed?

Because the bullet was laced with werewolf venom, ok? Hunters are dicks.

We need Klaus. We need his blood.

Klaus would rather see me die. Plus, Klaus is a thousand miles away, sipping a hurricane on Bourbon street.

That wound will kill you.

Jeremy

What about the cure?

Jeremy's right. If you're human, the werewolf venom won't hurt you.

And here I was so moved by your speech to save mankind. (listens) Sounds like Vaughn's awake.

Damon, wait!

[cut to the living room]

Here.

Stefan

What the hell are you doing?

Digging up Silas. Coming, Vaughn, or not?

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Hi.

Are you feeling better?

Yeah.

So it's all healed up?

Fresh as a daisy.

Good. (slaps him)

[listening from the living room] Ouch.

Alaric

Yeah. I taught her that swing.

Stefan

You know it's not polite to eavesdrop, right?

Hey, I'm short on time here, don't rob me of what little joy I have.

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Stefan

So, uh, what's up?

Honestly, Stefan, I just wanted to thank you for sticking by me when I was at my worst, for believing that I was still in there. Even after everything I put you through, you... you never gave up on me.

Stefan

I, uh, I kind of owed you one.

Here. It's yours. I want you to have it.

Stefan

[opens hand to reveal the cure] No, Elena. I'm not--

Stefan, the only person worse at being a vampire than me is you. Human blood is your downfall. You got the raw end of the vampire deal. The rest of us will be fine. We'll survive. I mean, you taught us! You deserve whatever you want out of life. You deserve this.

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New York?

Stefan

Too close.

Ohh! Vegas!

Stefan

Oh. No. Too touristy.

Look. I know you think I'm joking, but you are leaving. You just graduated for the millionth time. It's time to start living your life.

Stefan

What if Elena was the one?

She was, and she will always be an epic love. Contrary to popular belief, there are actually multiple ones, especially for a vampire. The only way to find another is to let go and move on.

Stefan

Never been to Portland. [he looks over to see an empty seat] See you, Lexi.

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[in Elena's form] Don't bother. I'm not in there anymore.

Stefan

Silas. You were stone. They saw you. The spell worked.

That's the funny thing about spells. They're bound by nature, and nature demands balance, so every spell has a loophole. The spell that turned me to stone was bound by a witch, a living witch, so when that witch died, the spell broke.

Stefan

Bonnie. Bonnie's not dead.

Doesn't matter, does it? And here's where the mystery of me comes full circle. I created the immortality spell 2,000 years ago. I could never die, so nature needed to find a balance, a version of me that could die. A shadow self; a doppelganger.

Stefan

So this is finally your real face? You're another one of them?

Not exactly. Hello, my shadow self.

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Stefan

I don't want to hurt you, so get away from me, before I rip your throat out.

QQetsiyah

Hello to you, too. I brought dinner. A vampire doppelganger who's burdened by a conscience. Now I've seen everything.