Lexi quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Lexi

I got you! Looks like I've now saved you from both metaphorical darkness and actual darkness. I think you owe me a beer.

Lexi

I'm older and that means stronger.

Damon

[Choking] Sorry.

Lexi

Don't ruin my time with Stefan 'cause I'll hurt you. [Whispering] And you know I can do it.

Damon

Yeah.

Stefan

You're...

Lexi

... dead? Technically, so are you.

Stefan

I will rip you apart, Lexi.

Lexi

You can't. I'm already dead.

Lexi

He [Stefan] needs balance and restraint.

Damon

What makes you think that I'm not balanced and restrained?

Lexi

The fact that you never have been.

Lexi

You're not even covering your tracks. We heard about you back in Mystic Falls.

Damon

So Stefan sent you. Hmm. I though we were on the off part of our endless on-again, off-again, eternity-of-misery cycle.

Lexi

That explains it. Your switch is flipped.

Damon

Ugh. Would you mind? I can't even hear my prey over your constant babbling.

Stefan

You've been back, what, 5 minutes and you're already laughing at me?

Lexi

No, I've been laughing at you for a while, you just haven't been able to see me.

Stefan

Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?

Lexi

Trust me, I do. Although I see I've been replaced by another blonde?

Stefan

Damon, help me celebrate my 17th high school graduation. Hey! You remember my friend Lexi, of course.

Damon

Lexi back from the dead. Goodie.

Lexi

What's up, buzz kill?

Damon

Stefan, you just gonna sit there and let her enact her ghostly revenge?

Stefan

You reap what you sow, buddy.

Lexi

Let's be very clear. Whatever time I have left here I sure as hell don't plan on wasting on you. Got me?

Damon

Yeah. Got you. So if you and Ric and little Gilbert are all flesh-like and real-seeming, that means something went horribly wrong when Bonnie tried to put the veil up, and here you two are having "Dance Party USA".

Stefan

You're right. How selfish of me to be indulging in these precious moments with my formerly dead best friend. I should be sacrificing my own happiness for the good of others, right? I should be upstairs grooming my hero hair.

Damon

Are you drunk?

Stefan

I don't know, mom, am I?

Damon

Well I guess that's one way to celebrate our supernatural apocalypse. Now care to hazard any guesses in what the hell went wrong?

Lexi

You know, you're missing your chance to weigh in on the great Elena Gilbert cure debate.

Stefan

What am I supposed to do, tell her it's her choice? Because that worked out so well. You know, it's funny. Those two are in there arguing about how to protect the world, and they have yet to address their biggest issue.

Lexi

Enlighten me.

Stefan

Sire bond's gone. Elena's emotions are back. She finally knows exactly how she feels.

Lexi

And if whatever she feels is for you...

Stefan

She's the love of my life. I'd go back to her in a heartbeat. But if that's not how she feels, then maybe that's exactly what I need to hear to get my ass out the door. Maybe I will move to Australia. I can live in a yurt.

Lexi

Cheers to that.

Damon

Hi.

Elena

Are you feeling better?

Damon

Yeah.

Elena

So it's all healed up?

Damon

Fresh as a daisy.

Elena

Good. (slaps him)

Lexi

[listening from the living room] Ouch.

Alaric

Yeah. I taught her that swing.

Stefan

You know it's not polite to eavesdrop, right?

Lexi

Hey, I'm short on time here, don't rob me of what little joy I have.

Lexi

You know there's something else out there, right? There has to be. Silas' whole agenda was to find peace with his one true love, and whatever peace is, it's out there. I figure once we've served our time for all the bad things we've done, then it's just about letting go and moving on.

Alaric

And how are we supposed to do that when the knuckleheads we care about can't seem to keep their lives straight?

Lexi

Yeah.

Lexi

New York?

Stefan

Too close.

Lexi

Ohh! Vegas!

Stefan

Oh. No. Too touristy.

Lexi

Look. I know you think I'm joking, but you are leaving. You just graduated for the millionth time. It's time to start living your life.

Stefan

What if Elena was the one?

Lexi

She was, and she will always be an epic love. Contrary to popular belief, there are actually multiple ones, especially for a vampire. The only way to find another is to let go and move on.

Stefan

Never been to Portland. [he looks over to see an empty seat] See you, Lexi.

Lexi

Well, that was beautiful.

Stefan

I was feeling epic.