Damon Salvatore quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Damon

If I can see you... (he pats Alaric's arms and face) ...and I can touch you, that means the little witch did it. She dropped the veil.

Alaric

Well, not completely. It's only down inside the Expression triangle. If I step outside of it, it's back to ghost world.

Damon

Well, where is everybody? I figured with the veil down, it'd be like Ghost-a-palooza.

Alaric

Well, not every ghost has a reason to come back to Mystic Falls. Just the ones like me, looking after their idiot best friends.

Damon

I'm more worried about the ones looking out for their enemies.

Bonnie

You need to get rid of Silas' body.

Damon

Well, there's a slight problem, Medusa. Even though you turned him into stone, if he gets one more drop of blood he's back to his old mind tricks.

Bonnie

All right, so let's do what we should've done to Klaus. Let's drop his body in the middle of the ocean.

Stefan

Damon, help me celebrate my 17th high school graduation. Hey! You remember my friend Lexi, of course.

Damon

Lexi back from the dead. Goodie.

Lexi

What's up, buzz kill?

Damon

Stefan, you just gonna sit there and let her enact her ghostly revenge?

Stefan

You reap what you sow, buddy.

Lexi

Let's be very clear. Whatever time I have left here I sure as hell don't plan on wasting on you. Got me?

Damon

Yeah. Got you. So if you and Ric and little Gilbert are all flesh-like and real-seeming, that means something went horribly wrong when Bonnie tried to put the veil up, and here you two are having "Dance Party USA".

Stefan

You're right. How selfish of me to be indulging in these precious moments with my formerly dead best friend. I should be sacrificing my own happiness for the good of others, right? I should be upstairs grooming my hero hair.

Damon

Are you drunk?

Stefan

I don't know, mom, am I?

Damon

Well I guess that's one way to celebrate our supernatural apocalypse. Now care to hazard any guesses in what the hell went wrong?

Elena

Hey.

Damon

Hey.

Elena

So I think there's some stuff you and I need to talk about.

Damon

Yes, we do, but first... (holds out the cure) Consider it a graduation present.

Elena

Damon, I can't take that.

Damon

Sure you can. Looks like it might be cherry flavored.

Elena

I'm not saying I don't want it. Obviously I want it, but that's the only one. There's only one cure, and the Hunters have made it pretty clear that they're willing to kill everyone in Mystic Falls until they get it.

Damon

Elena, take the damn thing. I want you to take it.

Elena

I can't.

Damon

Well, I guess that answers the sire bond question. (floor creaks) You gonna help a brother out or you just gonna lurk?

Jeremy

Look, Elena. You're my sister, and I love you no matter what you choose.

Damon

How is it even when you're dead, you're the bane of my existence?

Damon

Come on! We don't need the cure for Silas, he's calcified stone. Ugh.

Elena

What was that?

Damon

Nothing.

Elena

Take off your shirt.

Damon

Elena, there are children present.

Elena

Fine. [pulls the collar down to reveal Damon's shoulder] Damon, why isn't this healed?

Damon

Because the bullet was laced with werewolf venom, ok? Hunters are dicks.

Elena

We need Klaus. We need his blood.

Damon

Klaus would rather see me die. Plus, Klaus is a thousand miles away, sipping a hurricane on Bourbon street.

Elena

That wound will kill you.

Jeremy

What about the cure?

Elena

Jeremy's right. If you're human, the werewolf venom won't hurt you.

Damon

And here I was so moved by your speech to save mankind. (listens) Sounds like Vaughn's awake.

Elena

Damon, wait!

Damon

Here.

Stefan

What the hell are you doing?

Damon

Digging up Silas. Coming, Vaughn, or not?

Damon

Here we are!

What is it?

Damon

This is where I dumped Silas. Closed off to hikers, no food for animals, endlessly deep water.

I'm not following you, Damon. Where exactly did you put the body?

Damon

Well, um, let me see. So I– I dragged his stone ass through here, I flung him in that general direction, and he tumbled down into those weeds. I kinda lost him in the rocks. What do you know about physics? What is it? It's distance equals velocity times time? Guess I should have told you to bring some scuba gear, huh?

Damon

Hi.

Elena

Are you feeling better?

Damon

Yeah.

Elena

So it's all healed up?

Damon

Fresh as a daisy.

Elena

Good. (slaps him)

Lexi

[listening from the living room] Ouch.

Alaric

Yeah. I taught her that swing.

Stefan

You know it's not polite to eavesdrop, right?

Lexi

Hey, I'm short on time here, don't rob me of what little joy I have.

Damon

I wanted to apologize.

Elena

Good.

Damon

Let me finish! I said wanted to. And then I realized, I'm not sorry!

Elena

You would rather die than be human, and you expect me to be okay with that?

Damon

I didn't say you were supposed to be okay with it, I just said I'm not sorry! You know what I really am? Selfish. Because I make bad choices that hurt you. Yes, I would rather have died than be human. I'd rather die right now than spend a handful of years with you only to lose you when I'm too old and sick and miserable and you're still you. I'd rather die right now than spend my last, final years remembering how good I had it and how happy I was because that's who I am, Elena, and I'm not gonna change, and there's no apology in the world that encompasses all the reasons that I'm wrong for you!

Elena

Fine. Then I'm not sorry either. I'm not sorry that I met you. I'm not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything. That in death, you're the one that made me feel most alive. You've been a terrible person. You've made all the wrong choices, and of all the choices that I have made, this will prove to be the worst one, but I am not sorry that I'm in love with you! I love you, Damon. I love you.

Alaric

You got the girl, man.

Damon

I got the girl.

Alaric

Now don't screw it up.

Damon

Well, with you looking over my shoulder, how can I?

Damon

Please tell me you found her.

Jeremy

I didn't, but Matt did.

Damon

Huh. How shockingly useful.

Silas

Look, I get why you like her. I mean, I have a soft spot for brunettes, too. What I don't get is why she likes you.

Damon

That's because you haven't had sex with me.

Damon

What did Silas tell you to do?

Elena

Get you alone, weaken you, then kill you.

Elena

That's Stefan's Daylight ring.

Damon

I snagged it from Silas yesterday. And for the record, I am secure enough in our relationship that you having psychic dreams about your ex-boyfriend does not bother me. ...But it still sucks.

Elena

I love you. We're gonna save Stefan, and I'm still gonna love you, OK?

Damon

I know I said that it didn't bother me that you have some psychic connection to your ex-boyfriend, but I don't need a play-by-play, Elena.

Elena

You're right. It's weird. Sorry.

Damon

(sighs) Fine. Tell me. I'm sure whatever's in my imagination is ten times worse than what's going on in your subconscious.

Elena

It was just so vivid. I saw Stefan walking out of this bar. It had a red awning and this broken neon sign, and he was screaming in pain.

Damon

Well, should I go check in the attic, see if there's a crystal ball? Maybe you could conjure up an address.

Katherine

Route 29. Joe's bar. I think I had the exact same dream.

Elena

I know it sounds crazy that I'm following some psychic dream, but it's the only lead that we have.

Damon

It doesn't "sound" crazy, it is crazy. But I'm open-minded.