Vic Mackey quotes from The Shield

Vic

How do I know I can trust you?

Aceveda

How do I know I can trust you?

Vic

I guess we have a deal then.

Aceveda

This doesn't mean I like you.... Try screwing me on this, I'll bury you!

Do you have anything to declare?

Vic

Only that it's good to be back in the States.

Vic

I need that money!

Shane

Yeah! Well, we all do.

Vic

No, I need it now to get back my kids!

Shane

What are you talking about?

Vic

THEY'RE GONE SHANE! Corrine took them, they disappeared.

Vic

If you're such a good boy then do as I say. Pack up your shit, and get on the next donkey back to home.

But I just got here, I think I'll stay for a while.

Vic

Come on, maybe you can stay at my house for a while.

Ya, what's the charge?

Vic

I'll think of something on the way.

Shane

Aceveda seems pissed.

Vic

[grins] Just like old times.

I'd like to see a warrant.

Vic

I'd like to see Anna Kournikova naked on a waterbed.

Aceveda

You're going undercover as dirty cops. You think you can pull that off?

Vic

We can try.

Vic

See that one-niner over there? I've done a few favors for his crew out on the street. He's willing to pay me back. One phone call from me... and you're greenlit!

Greenlit?

Vic

It's an American prison term. It means you'll be shanked in the shower asshole, bleed out before the guards even know you're late for breakfast.

Oh you're so full of shit.

Vic

No.

You're gonna sit there and pretend to understand me, what I'm going through?

Vic

N-N-Na-No. I'm telling you the truth.

You think I'm gonna believe a bullshit story like that?

Vic

Calm down.

Like I'm going to associate with you?

Vic

Calm down!

Think I'm going to give you this gun? Think I'm some kind of idiot, that you don't have to take seriously? This is how serious I am! [Shoots Connie]

Look you know I want to help, I just can't.

Vic

You son of a bitch.

For the record I have no useful information.

Vic

You know he's out there, you know he's got the kid, and all you can think about is saving your own ass.

Vic

[about Julien's fiancee] She's a beautiful girl.

Julien

Yeah.

Vic

I guess I must have missed something. Last person I saw you kissing was a little more... male. Sure you know what you're doing?

Julien

Yeah.

Vic

In that case, congratulations.

Vic

You wanted me to hurt you.

Every scar is a victory. This is just my biggest.

Vic

I've got a team member in the Burn Unit, the guy who did it out on the street and you think now is a good time to screw with my family.

Claudette

I think Armadillo went to your house looking for you Vic. Lucky your wife and kids didn't end up in the Burn Ward.

Vic

My family's off limits.

Claudette

You tell that to Armadillo.

Vic

I'm telling you!

I keep hiding his chair on him.

Vic

You're starting already?

Every house needs a rube.

Shane

And you're anointing this guy?

Vic

[sees Claudette staring at him] Yeah?

Claudette

Just reading the newspaper. Have you?

Vic

Lakers cut it pretty close last night.

Claudette

They're not the only ones.