[seeing a room full of Santas] Oh, sugar plums!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Whoa, whoa, okay, first, we're the decorations committee. Second, uh, Dickens? Did you get a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Been-There-Done-That?
MMason
No, no, no. We are the decorations committee. And at least our ideas didn't come from the pages of Winter Hooligan Monthly.
[reading a Winter Hooligan Monthly magazine] Hey! How did he know that?!
[about to fight Kowalski and Mason] This otter's about to join the naughty list.
[after chopping down the city's Christmas tree] I'm a lumberjack! Arr, matey!
[During the snowball fight.]
[mourning a destroyed Tiny Tim decoration] They got... Tiny Tim.
MMason
You may strike our decorations, but you shall never conquer the spirit of Charles Dickens!
And his razor-brimmed top hat! [tosses his top hat] H'yah!
[The top hat lands on a snowman's head.]
MMason
Actually, I don't believe Dickens had a razor-brimmed hat.
Learn your history, chimp.
[after ruining Christmas for the younger animals] What have I done?
[The real Santa appears.]
SSanta
Well, for starters, you roughed up a dozen of my deputies and helped wreck the world's most famous Christmas tree. And I thought I had a busy night.
[Willing to see Shauna, Private veers to the right and blatantly avoids the Deli and descends to the right ground.]
Uh? Kowalski, what’s on the right side of the Deli?
I believe that would be Gunnerson’s Home of Rusty Bear Traps.
[facepalms] Oh boy...
[Private falls there and shouts in pain as the sound of bear traps snapping is heard.]
"Accident-prone", Private? Oh, I've seen accident-prone. Try Manfredi and Johnson, with a Chinese lantern, and six bottles of rocket fuel!!!
Worst talent show ever.
[The penguins have rigged a pretzel cart to fly in the air to escape Officer X.]
And at 400 feet and climbing, I don't think there's much chance of running into him. We're home free. [high-fives Rico and Kowalski]
I guess you're right, Skipper. You know, unless Officer X did something like hide inside the pretzel cart before we took off. Well, you have to admit it's kind of strange. We ran all over the zoo, carrying supplies, and didn't see Officer X. Not even once. I'm just saying it's possible that Officer X could have anticipated our plan and might have hidden in the cart's pretzel compartment before we took off.
[The penguins look at Private, then laugh at his idea.]
That has to be just the most ridiculous...
You can't possibly imagine the stasticical improbabilty that... Well...
[becoming scared] That Officer X - the Officer X - is hiding... down there.
[also becoming scared] Just... inches... below our... very feet.
Well, the very idea... I mean, it's... it's just that it's so...
It's so... So, so-so, so, so...
[panics] SO TOTALLY OBVIOUS!!! BATTLE STATIONS!!! [the penguins make battle stances outside the pretzel compartment door] On three... One... Two... I can't do it! I mean, what if he's really in there? What if he leaps out with one of those witty one-liners? Probably something about pretzels.
Something like, "I'll bet you never expected this twist."
Exactly!
Mort, did you just have the audacity to kick your stinking foot into the sacred temple of my royal buttocks?
Of course! It's the salt. The sodium granules released from the pretzel cart into the convective cloud layer must have sparked a freezing nucleation reaction and BOOM! Instant rain.
I like peanuts, and I like butter, but I do not like peanut butter... [breaks the fourth wall with a creepy grin of idiocy] WEIRD!
So we’re stuck with the stupid Kowalski, well maybe it’s a good thing. I mean we were all getting tired of his big high, fleeting words like recalcitrant, right? I mean, what is that? Recalcitrant. Do I like recalcitrant to you?
Uh huh.
Oh YEAH! Up high!
And you had better let the king tell you how he is going to DECIDE HIS IMPORTANT KINGLY DECISION, OKAY?!
[seeing the Hoboken Zoo tag] Some poor sap has a one-way ticket to North Jersey oblivion.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Penguins of Madagascar pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.