The Penguins of Madagascar quotes

I was so looking forward to eating my delicious cake! How can I look forward to eating nothing?! Answer me, Maurice!

They'll make new cakes. New bake-off on the double!

Hold it, party boy! One quiet week of scheduled maintenance. Is that too much to ask? Is it?! You bombard me with music, and fruit, and this! [points to the cake on his head] Newsflash, lower mammal, there's no such thing as KING JULIEN DAY!!!

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Come back here, you music hater!

I don't hate music. I hate noise.

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[After calling the other zoo animals to the lemur habitat] You’ve all been called here today to dig a proclamation from King Julien himself!

[To Burt the elephant] Thirty peanuts says this is about his feet.

BBurt

Make it forty.

[Clears his throat] From this moment that is happening now and on, those who touch the king’s feet, which are mine, will be punished most savagely! [He unfurls a piece of paper with a foot in a “Not allowed” sign] I drew that. Me. I did. [Everyone groans]

No feet?

Well, that’s five minutes of our lives we won’t get back.

Until I get my time machine fully functioning. [Everyone leaves]

Wait! This is a very serious proclamation that I am proclaiming! [Slaps the “No feet allowed” sign on the volcano] Look! It is posted right here on the plastic volcano! And ANYONE who dares to be touching my beautiful feets shall be banish-ed from my kingdom! FOREVER!!!!!!

[Pretending to echo] Ever! Ever. Ever…

What are you doing?

Echoing your for dramatic effect!

Oh, nice! I like it! Now go to rebuilding my super comfy pamper-time floaty throne! And make it floatier and super comfy! [Maurice leaves]

[Sadly poking his head out from behind a rock, staring at Julien’s feet] Banished… forever?

Forever!

Ever! Ever! Ever!

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[Later that night, while Julien’s asleep, Mort is wide awake as he sits far away from Julien]

Must not think about feet. [Falls asleep] Must count sheep. [Dreams he wakes up in a meadow] Yay! Sheep! [The first two sheep jump over a fence] One, two… [Yawns] Three… [Suddenly, the third sheep transforms into Julien’s foot]

FFoot

[With Julian’s voice] Feet, Mort! You must count feet!

Okay! [Skips after the two feet. The dream ends with him back in the lemur habitat, giggling while he’s sleeping. Walks over to Julien] No! Not the feet! [Chains himself to a fake palm tree]

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[The next morning, Mort, chained to the fake palm tree, wakes up by Julien’s feet. Julien wakes up and they both scream]

What in the feets are you doing?!?

I… I… I… You… You… You…

You… You… You are hereby banish-ed from my kingdom FOREVER!!!! [Looks around] Maurice?!

[Late on the echo] Ever! Ever… Wait! You mean Mort’s exiled? For eternity?

Forever or for eternity! I’m flexible, but the no-feet touching must be of zero tolerance!

[Mort sulks away, crying, dragging the palm tree behind him. Suddenly, Julien’s feet appear]

F1Foot #1

You cannot escape us, Mort!

F2Foot #2

Hug us! We need hugs! [The feet circle around him]

Shoo! Go away, feet! [Swats the air, pretending to shoo the feet away. Nearby, Marlene watches]

Hey, Mort. I heard about the whole foot-banishing thing. If there’s anything I can do to help…

Fix me! Cure me! Help me! Save me!

Whoa! Take it easy, Mort! I’m an otter! Not a miracle worker! But I know someone who can help!

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[To Mort] Sad Eyes! Fall in! [Mort stands erect like a soldier] Recruit, I’m gonna mold you like a lump of wet clay!

Yeah. Good luck with that. [Leaves the Penguins’ hideout]

Oh, goody! I’m wet clay!

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What’s that, Mr. Foot? You want a hug? Okay!

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Pop quiz, troops. What can't we trust?

[flipping through his notebook] Three-day-old stir-fry mung beans.

Right. What else can't we trust?

[holding up a book on badgers] Badgers!

[Skipper gives Private a questionable look]

...Maybe that's just me.

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Listen up, lemur. Maurice ate those bad nuts. He went off the deep end.

He's turned the lemur habitat into an armed fortress.

He's enslaved the entire zoo!

I cannot be believing my ears. [furious] Maurice ATE MY LYCHEE NUTS!

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[after snapping out of his trance] Who would dare wear the sacred crown of King Julien?! Wait. [gasps] It's me!

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Ooooh, it smells like the circus!

Uh, do you mind? We're trying to help him.

MMelman

All right, Skipper. That's enough. It's my turn.

WHAT?!

MMelman

Okay, your stomach begins rumbling, it is on the verge of vomiting. Throw up!

Weeheheheee!

Mort the bomb! Get rid of the bomb!

I got the bomb, Mort is the best, I am the winner! Mort is so—owe!

Rico

What happened?

Why, Melman, you won! And Rico’s talking now! Oh, Thank you, Doc.

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[After the rat king jumps on Kowalski while playing hockey; concerned]: Kowalski, speak to me, man!

[lying on ground] Just a... knock on the old... [twitches] ...monkey bus.

[confused] Kowalski?

[stumbling on ice] No need to paint. I'm as flopsy-faced as ever.

[after Kowalski gets up and picks up hockey stick] I...don't think you're fit for duty.

[continuing to stumble] Flibertigibit, man. I'm as juxtaposed as the next hamburger. [slips and falls on his belly]

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[after he and Skipper also get hurt] Skipper, maybe it's time to admit we've lost.

[stumbling in the background] The moo-cow may have a chocolate marshmallow.

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NONE... MAY TOUCH... THE ROYAL FEET!!! NONE!!!

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[Julian wins the hockey game, defeating the sewer rats, Rico, Private and Skipper looked shocked; Kowalski stumbles past them]